h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Ma Chao] It seems Ribald is still shopping. Even if he weren't, we are still undecided on our course of action!

[Lampwick] Ribald's in the pub. [gesturing]

I still vote we take the stealthy aproach and take the sewer.

This may make me sound like a pansy but I don't fancy taking on the whole massed legions out there with just the 3 of us

[Ma Chao] Well, alright, I'll support you. But you're paying for my laundry! I just hope Ribald agrees...

[Lampwick] He probably won't, but it'll be a majority vote.

[Ma Chao] You think he'll want to stay topside? I'd rather that too, I don't like being in confined spaces, it restricts my fighting skill... Still, I suppose the sewers will be safe. Let's do it!

[Lampwick] Well, then, good luck getting Ribald out of the bar.

*Ma Chao clicks his fingers, and concentrates...
There is a smash of glass as Ribald is blasted out the bar by a miniature tornado.*
[Ma Chao] Ah, Ribald, ready to go?

[Ribald] Wuh? Wherwegoin?

[Ma Chao] For a walk in the sewers...

[Ribald] Uh ... oh. [flops over backwards]

*Sighs*
[Ma Chao] Come on. Let's get this over with...

The sewers are like sewers everywhere; old, dank and stinking.
The Warband creep along the waters, Ma Chao complaining every step of the way. Ribald is leading the way, then Eric, Ma Chao and finally Lampwick.
[Ma Chao] Ribald! Are you sure this is the right way? I think we've missed the turn.
[Ribald] No! Straight on.
[Eric] Ma Chao's right. We've gone too far.
[Lampwick] What have I stepped in?
[Ma Chao] I know! We should have taken the last right.
[Eric] ... You mean last left?
[Lampwick] What /have/ I stepped in!?
[Ma Chao] But I thought...
[Ribald] I should have stayed in the pub...
[Lampwick] I wish I knew what I stepped in...
[Ma Chao, Ribald and Eric] Shut up, Lampwick!

I should like to know exactly who put Ribald in charge.



Oh, shut up! You're always whining about everything I say.



No, really, it's a valid point. Ribald was last seen drunk off his dorsum, and now he's suddenly leading the way?



Hmm ... You know, you have a point. I say we start over.



I agree.



Right.



All right ... so ... The sewers are like sewers everywhere; old, dank and stinking.
The Warband creep along the waters, Ma Chao complaining every step of the way. Ribald is not leading the way.

Ribald was put in front as he insisted (alcohol gives you confidence).
Also, after Lampwick pointed out that the guy at the back always dies first, Ribald made damn good time!

And he's not in charge, just in front.

I think I'd prefer it if /I/ was the one who said what Lampwick and Ribald insisted on, pointed out, made time, or did while they were inebriated, but whatever.

Does it matter that much? All we need to know is that they are lost. Allow me to clarify:


The adventurers are lost in the Sewers. For how they got there (if they did at all) see previous argument.

[Ma Chao] Wonderful! So we're now lost! I /told/ you I didn't like the sewers!

There's a fresh brease comeing from that direction

[Ribald] Well, too bad it's not a breeze.

[Lampwick] Please don't make jokes based on spelling.

[Ribald] Whatever.