h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Stubles in from the hall covered in honey and slocshing around in tea soaked socks* Can anyone tell me were all the rest of the fun is around here?...no. OK. I'll find it on my own. *Follows his Honey tracks back out the door*

(observing tea covered partigoers) I think I need to set my nanomolecular rerplicat-o-matic to umbrella. Or tea sheild. What's this about monkeys?

*runs in from next door lab, after hearing mention of monkeys*
WHERE!!! did you see one of the little buggers? Where did he/she/it (gotta be PC of course) go?
*runs around frantically for a second, then returns to his comfortable chair in the laboratory*

*walks in wondering why everyone is running from place to place around here*

*finds a seat in the corner and takes out the notebook, set in on the table. Feels his nose to make sure he didn't break it during that last fall* Oh i found the cheesy bisquits, now to see what this notebook has in it.....*opens the front cover of Engels's notes that read: 'MAY CAUSE SOME TO BECOME PARANOID', flips through the first few pages* What if someone is watching me....Oh my God I can't read this here...What if they get me? What if they know....? AND WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ALARM FOR IN THE LAB ROOM?

*materialises in the middle of the Great Hall, on top of the table, looks down and realises one foot is sitting in a plate of 3 day old taramasalata*
Crap!
*delves into pocket and pulls out a tripod*
*sets it up and places an object similar to a large camera on top*
*presses a large button, and steps back*

*gets into place in front of device, about 15 feet away*
*there is a loud flash and a cloud of blue smoke describes a perfect smokering up towards the ceiling of the Great Hall*
*there are now 2 Babel-17's standing in the hall*
Hi
HI
Right, you get scouting, meet me here in about 20 hours, I'll be back to pick you up.
OK SEE YOU THEN
*B-17/1 replaces the apparatus in his pockets and dematerialises*
*B-17/2 looks around and leaves the Great Hall munching on a cheesy biscuit*

*E wonders what on Earth (OK, what one the Space Stations ) been going on in here...*

Planet of San Beta!! I was just wondering the same thing!
Don't worry, I can track absolutly *anything* on this vessel! They won't cause any harm.
What's happened to my download speeds? It's taking my about 10 mins to acess a single page on h2g2 - and on 56k!!
I don't know...

*Gladly notices Big C didn;t notice him hunched in the courner reading Engels' notebook* I told you they would find me....they've sent reinforcements from below, they multiply..aaaahhhhhh. They're onto me, the server going down yesterday...that was no accident they know I'm here.....I can't hide anywhere....OH GOD WHERE CAN I HIDE? I gotta get ride of this notebook, but how could anyone else handle what's in it....*Stuffs face with cheesy bisquits to try and comfort his paranoia* I've gotta give it back to Engels....maybe he can help....yes he'll help me, wait what if that's what he wants? Maybe he planned the whole thing from the start. 'hide notebook, spill tea, set missel off, lose monkeys, get Dodge Ram drunk, *Clutches head in hands and rips out some hair, looks up to the camera that would be overhead in a pysco movie and gives a uneasy crazy, madman type laugh*
No I'll go to Engles, he will help. *leaves the room and heads to the lab, on the way out he gets pinched in between the two sliding doors* Owww, excuse me can anyone lend a hand.......?

*E lends a hand & pushes the dorrs apart so that he can get free of the doors...*

Don't you just hate it when even the doors turn against you...

Hmmm...
I saw him, I heard him...
Computer! Keep tracking system logged on to subject 11_3082 Tysbe Perich_(ACE)_.
[Confirmed. Inform in results?]
Affirmative.
Anyway, could I have a Vogsphere salad please E?

(A wet and agitated monkey limps in carrying Peet on its back)

"Don't ask."

(Fortunately, Peet had remembered the age-old rule of laboratory animals - drop them in a maze, and they will head straight for the food...! He peels himself off the monkey and heads for the snacks)

Um... Has anyone noticed those two monkeys in lab coats that are crouching behind the snack table? One seems to be taking notes, and the other's got a syringe. Is there anything I might want to know about what's been going on in the labs?

*Walks in, sees the monkeys*
Hm.... no.... there's nothing...erm...strange about that at all.
*calls to the monkeys*
Rocko, buttons, drop that notebook and get back in your cages, You've been bad little primates this time, havn't you?


Hmmm... does anyone have anything to drink in here? I'm getting a little thirsty, with all this chasing monkeys around.

*hands over BigC's salad, which, even though it's a little late, is incredibly delicious because just that little bit longer was taken over making it even better...*

What kind of drink would you like...there's...well...there's everything...

Hmm... how about a scotch on the rocks. I need something strong to try and forget the choas going on in the labs.

*a scotch on the rocks miraculously appears in E's hand & she hands it over to Engles*

(Peet approaches, stuffing his face with a steak pie sandwich)

Hey, folx - Howzitgoin'?

(steak pie *sandwich*??!!)

Sorry...who?

*munches on salad, even though, against popular belief, it isn't strictly speaking healthy*
Cheers E!
Peet, you evidently got out of the maze. I must congratulate you!
Surely it was hard?