h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Peet stumbles along the corridor labelled "Rehab", struggling with a tea-and-vodka soaked research monkey clinging tenaciously to his back...)

"Helloooo...?" (helloooo helloooo helloooo... - bad echo in here!)

(Following a trail of empty vodka bottles, biscuit packets and bits of damp toilet paper, he soon gets totally lost. Happily, he spies a button marked "Help". It's a big, red button...)

*CLICK*
A sepulchurous voice booms out:
"You are in a huge maze of twisty passages, all alike"

Ah, well, I'm glad we sorted that out...

*Runs past Peet in a frantic rage, twisting and spinning in every direction, like watching a bad cricket match. He's pulling at his head and raving on and on* They're gonna get me....*looks at Peet who is uterly lost, flashes him a smile* They're gonna get you too... *continues on his rantic rage back into the shadows of the halls and disappears*

A maze, huh? Let me get us out of here... Follow me!!

*starts leading*

Umm... Where are we??

*BigC thought he'd try to get poor Peet and then others out, but thought he'd test them...*
*intercom crckles into action. The voice of Pr. C. Tonks is to be heard.*
You are in the Rehabilitation Sector of this Research Vessel. This sector was built for emergencies only, and I used to deal with all emergencies. Therefore I'm the only one who can navigate it. I wish you luck on finding your way out!
*evil laughs to be heard*
*intercom crackles and seases*

(Peet peels the monkey off his back with a sound like peeling Velcro(tm) and tosses it along the corridor. It lands with a squelch, and scuttles off with a purposeful air...)

Aha! It seems to know where it's going!

(Peet sets about following the wet "tea and vodka" paw-prints through the maze...)

Hey!! Wait for me!!

*Starts running after Peet & the monkey, but soon loses the track of them. Wonders who cleaned all the tea and vodka off the floor.*

*After wandering around the maze for weeks, Alien starts thinking that there might be an easier way out. She takes her shovel and simply kills all the walls between her and the more friendly parts of the station.*

*Unfortunately, Alien forgets the station is donut-shaped, and the outside walls are between her and where she is trying to go...*

(It was a mix-up in the plans, which explains why Eomondo has been serving space-station shaped donuts at the Aroma Cafe)

[My sensors tell me that subject 'Peet' is present in another dimension, parrallel to this one, in which he views the 'station to be donut shaped.]
*Beeps for a bit*

* Peet yawns *

These darn pesky timeslips!