h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Interesting thread.
It brings memories of my own childhood when
my parents budgetary senses were very
carefully calculated for maximum effect.

It was cheaper by about half to take me
to films than to pay for a baby sitter.

I saw a lot of stuff most young children
didn't get a chance to see back then -
skeletons, car crashes, zombies, murders,
werewolves, Betty Grable's legs...

Forbidden Planet scared the poop outa me.
The monster was just pure energy, without
real form or shape, a very scary concept
for a five year old who had just suffered
from experimenting with sticking bobby-pins
into electric outlets and had black and blue
burns and bruises up his arm.

But I never screamed or cried out.

By the time I was ten I went to films on my own
with friends of similar age. Godzilla and The Fly
gave me nightmares for months.

The only two movies I ever walked out of were
much later as an adult - Clockwork Orange and
the first Alien. Both were violations of my
values and sensibilities and I didn't want
to ever have nightmares again.


~jwf~

Most of what I would say has already been said above, but I would emphasise a few points:

First and foremost: I have paid xxx Euros/pounds/dollars to see this film/concert/play and not to hear people nattering, giggling, talking on their phones, or kids screaming. I can do that for free elsewhere. What is mor, the parents of a disruptive child have also paid the same amount. I really can't see the point of paying good money to hear your own child scream, so that you couldn't hear anything that was going on. Why doesn't the "wasted money" argument prevent people from taking small children to these places?

Having said that - I probably wouldn't have the nerve or the panache to tell someone to get out. If it got really serious, I would consider asking for my money back after the performance.

Disabled people: I have been to showings of films with subtitles which have been ruined by deaf people rustling crisp bags and talking, but I realised I should have thought of this before and would have to put up with it. Sometimes it's the only way to get the original sound track, beings as I live in a non-English-speaking country. Last week I went to such a showing and asked if there were any deaf people in there before I went in. The girl at the box office looked very surprised at the idea. As it turned out, there weren't any deaf people in there, and, if there had have been, there was plenty of free space to move to. But I sat near two ladies of similar age to myself, and they drove me mad with their silly comments right through the film......

But there is a very fine line here to be drawn. If you never take kids to the cinema/theatre/concert/church service, how are they ever going to get the idea that you sit down, shut up and watch what's going on? So how do you prepare kids for how to behave once they start to go to this kind of thing?

Kids performances (Puppet theatre, kids' theatre and film screenings) are ideal for this, surely. No one expects absolute rapturous respectful silence at a pantomime or a cartoon film showing.

I took mine (4 and 7) to Pirates and to Tin Tin recently, and they were fine at both. I also take them to children's theatre, and generally speaking that goes OK as well.

Museums are OK, as long as you accept that you can't experience them as you would do as an adult.

We went to the British Museum last week - when I go there, I like to stare at the Lewis Chessmen, the Rosetta stone and the like.

They like to look at the Mummies (and not just the Yummy Mummies ), admire the swords and armour, and lust after the gold, which is perfectly normal in my book. We had about 90 minutes, and then went to the caff and I was pretty happy with how they'd behaved.

But it does require a bit of tolerance from other adults. Would never take kids to a adult film, very bad idea for them, me and rest of cinema.

Finally, the problem with cheering the scary bloke is that that kind of person is also likely to act in less acceptable ways - in that situation, I wouldn't intervene, but I wouldn't cheer either.

sprout

"Look away now, people of Manchester it was about the chav kids in Langworthy"

*cough*

I think I took J to the theatre, to see er, Mr Jolly from Playdays. He was very happy and quiet the first half, after the interval he was rubbish, but we stayed in there that time because it was a lot more expensive than the cinema. And obviously no adults without kids, unlike disney film I mentioned earlier.

See, this is exactly why drive-in movies need to come back in style.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/2010/12/the_moviegoers_code_of_conduct.html

*sigh* Now that's sorted, on to the next problem...

Sometimes a 'U' rating for a film can be a problem, especially if the production company markets the film on the back of one particular segment. I'm talking about Disney's Fantasia, which they always sell with Mickey Mouse as The Sorcerer's Apprentice. I took hubby to see it years ago, as he loves classical music and I enjoyed seeing the film with my mum when I was about 16. There was a kid (about 3 or 4 years old) in front of us with his mum. For the first part of the film he kept saying "Where's Mickey Mouse?" - not loud enough to annoy every in the cinema, but loud enough to spoil our enjoyment of the film. His mother didn't do much to quieten him down.

On the one side there were parents who ruined other customers' experience. Possibly they were just trying to get a nice trip to the cinema, and that's hard with a young child. However...I've missed films because they're unsuitable for children. Meh. Parents don't get to see the films the wanted to.

On the other hand...*** they were threatened with violence?!! *** And for making a noise in a cinema?!!

That's a serious police matter. I hope that if the police had been involved the rest of the audience would have given accurate accounts of the incident. Shameful.

Perhaps what someone could have done would have been to speak to a manager? That would have been the adult thing to do. I see it's a 12A film and all, but I imagine there was at least one adult in the audience.

Drunks in the cinema are really annoying. Acceptable, maybe, at an appropriate late night show but in other shows really annoying and should be banned!

I would have either might have made things worse by saying something at the time it got to threatening with violence or would have to leave to give my name and contact details, and inform the staff of what had happened and by then I couldn't watch the film because it would have been ruined

but I was thinking that possibly I could have asked someone working there to step in at the point of asking the parents to take their child out but more likely I would have had a word myself

I couldn't have asked them to intervene directly when things got hairy, the attentants are babies themselves, ok just out of school as an 'adult' I would feel uncomftable putting them in a situation with potential risk and that I was passing the buck

I didn't pick up from the OP that the parents presented a risk of violence. It was someone else who threatened them.

Think about it - if someone can go around threatening people over something like that - then what other dangers might they present?

This isn't how people should behave.

And I'm now wondering why nobody in the audience called the police?

In what other situations would people not act on a threat of violence to another?

my post must have read wrong.

A parent was threatened with violence because their child was being diruptive to peoples viewing, I got that

I would have said something to the parents if I felt that was the case that their child was being unreasonably and persistantly disruptive

I would have certainly stepped in some way once it got to the threatening point

partly one reason why I would have to leave is that I would be seething about the fact that everyone else just sat there

(and the misreading was more likely my fault)

could have come across wrong or you might have misread, either way it is good to be clear

I'm not condinging the threats, though I was pleased the parents then took their child out.

The threatening fellow was the thrid person to speak to them asking them to do something about it and they had ignored the two previous request. This of course does not make threats legitimate.

A couple of observations though:-

My view was I didn't really think there was any actual prospect of the bloke attacking a parent in front of the child. Whilst he was aggressive I think the threat side of it was more in the order of "you have been asked politely and not done anything now i am asking impolitely". Still not ok to threaten but it was a little different.

I suspect if it actually looked like the bloke was going to wade in people would have done something about it and not just sat there. I didn't call the police because i didn't think it was really a credible threat.

Threatening physical violence is out. Get that. But when polite entreaties have been turned down we are definitely in the territory of this is a case of the parents being anti social gits as well. Does that deserve to be threatened, no. But impolite asking is definitely on the menu.

I do feel vaguely embarrased about cheering with hindsight (and having read this thread). But you know what I wish I had gone and spoken to them before the scary bloke, but with a more forceful please take the kid out.

FB

Sorry to be po-faced and all, but what you now have is a guy who's got some positive reinforcement for his threatening behaviour.

That's what struck me immediately as more serious than the (admitted) impoliteness of the parents, I'm afraid. That's what's the story here.

I'm not judging here, I am just interested like Ed where do the personal boundaries lie

for me even if I didn't think this display of agression would get physical, I would have seen it as intimadation and I think it would have over-stepped a mark for me

I'm also quite interested in that this was directed towards the bloke, if it was a woman and her female friend/partner, would it have been different?

Peanut