h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Me and a small gang of friends do an intermittent Come Dine With Me thing, where we all have each other for a dinner party, score them and the winner gets a prize like a nice bottle of wine or box of chocs we've all chipped in for. It's good fun.

I also like to do the 'come over, mess about watching DVDs/playing computer games' and I'll cook something like burritos or fajitas. Don't consider that to be a dinner party though

Single men get the same treatment... This is probably why I don't know about the current status of dinner parties; as a single male, I just don't get invited to them.

But that's OK, I'm perfectly happy inviting people to my place 'for dinner' rather than 'for a dinner party'. And I don't give a damn about their marital status or lack thereof. if they're interesting people, I'm prepared to feed them.

I live in a place where single women are sometimes treated with that sort of suspicion and where any sort of casual chat about say a F1 race with a bloke while waiting for drinks at a bar can get you a right slapping when you go to the Ladies

Attempts are madeto pair of single woman with suitable man, not just to keep husbands safe but in a well meaning way because said single lady's life must be so sad and lonely, hmmmm

and when that fails to work then the 'suspicion' switches to 'she must be *whisper* gay'

Formal dinner parties - have never done, although bizarrely we do seem to have all the clobber. I think my wife likes the idea of fine dining, it's just totally impractical.

Afternoon tea is more of a winner when you have small kids, as someone mentioned.

sprout

I like feeding people and having conversations, but if a dinner party means all the trappings, then count me out - that seems to be more about status and impressing people than actually liking them.

My grandmother not only has small Meissen butterflies with the sole and intended purpose of being placed on spills at the dining table so you can't see them and ruin the dinner, she also has a notebook where she's kept track, for 50+ years, of whom she invited over when, in the company of whom else, whether they got along, and what she served them so they don't get the same dish twice

That's kinda cool Mala. Do you know the people in the book?

Re the husband stealing thing, I used to think it was a pretty screwy way of viewing the world, until I lived in a small town that was notorious for fence jumping. But presumably women must have been doing that too.

The dangerous single woman? I have often suspected the truth in this ( or that this is applied to me) I seem to have been given up by a load of previous friends who would invite my late husband and myself round for supper, or invite me to restaurants. Do they think I might steal their husbands - or do they not trust their husband to make eyes at me?

I can also tell you that this happened in two places - UK and here, so it wasn't just one group of friends who see me as a completely different person now, to the friend I once thought I was to them.

I should just add that I kept inviting people round to mine - but the return invites never happened.

- personal opinion stated as someone whose social life went down the pan on becoming a widow.

<>

As they say, it takes two to tango.

Although it could have been a small number of women and lots of husbands

I have paused for thought on this one, as I have a particular friend who will invite me to visit - but only when her husband is out. Usually 'out' means out of the country. Logically, this seems to imply that it is not me she finds at fault, but her husband?

Reading between the lines here.

I also love cooking for other people. But like Mu Beta the Pig sty/space issue rather prevents me from doing it as much as i'd like!

FB

We host lots of parties (up to 10 a year) but we've never had a formal sit-down meal, despite having the space.

Originally, things started off as impromptu BBQ's, but they've gradually become more elaborate over the years. It is a pleasure to cater for other people, but it is seriously hard work and often expensive. Catering for large numbers has gradually become easier as we've now acquired enough plates and cutlery, extra 'fridges, more tables, more chairs, etc. Before, we'd spend most of the previous week collecting/borrowing such things and then most of the following week returning them.

The average 'do' for up to twenty people usually comes in around €200, with guests bringing contributions for the bar. The last event was a 'garden party' and that cost nearer €600, but it was a special event, with around 50 people, mini-marquee and the services of a waitress and chauffeur.

Our methods for dealing with large numbers of guests improve with every event, but I still find that I can't actually 'enjoy' the party until the food aspect is done and dusted - it just seems such a commitment. And I get it easy - my wife does all the catering. I just stand flapping in the kitchen saying "What's next"?

I also like to cook for people
I think I agree with most people here that a formal dinner is outdated and too formal
plus I don't know anyone with that much space to sit a dinner party round one table...
having children makes it hard even to have people round for dinner,
"oh yes please ignore the small child throwing carrots at you..."
but parents need social lives too, I can't remember the last time i had an enjoyable evening with friends,

as for the single woman thing, I understand that it happens, perhaps people are too insecure with there own relationships, or maybe they think that you will be overwhelmed by the fact they can only have couples conversations now about whatever it is single people wouldn't understand

Or it could be that we assume our single friends are having more fun and wouldn't want to come to our so conventional dinner parties? i tend to expect my single friends to be less tolerant of other people's husbands than those dragging their own husbands along.

As for the children thing, I have friends with children who are at the carrot throwing stage and I really don't mind. Largely I don't notice as long as I'm not expected to throw carrots back.

I have always been very grateful to my single friends (actually that should be friends without children) who have gamely invited me and my carrot thrower to visit (for coffee, or dinner or even to stay).

Now I sound like somebody who doesn't invite single women for dinner. I do, I really do invite single women and single men for dinner but not I hasten to add so that they can meet each other....

"as for the single woman thing, I understand that it happens, perhaps people are too insecure with there own relationships, or maybe they think that you will be overwhelmed by the fact they can only have couples conversations now about whatever it is single people wouldn't understand"


I don't really know how to take this DrAnthea.


and in response to whoever said so earlier, single women don't have 'more fun'. Especially when all their friends ignore them.

Unless you are thinking of 'young' single women? not the widows and divorced?

I'm sorry that wasn't quite what I meant. I do invite my divorced friends, I don't yet know any widows. I just meant that people who don't invite might not haave the negative images we mentioned. I really appreciate the time I spend with my single friends whereever that occurs.

Wow. After this discussion of how single men and women are treated at dinner parties, potlucks sound even better.

My last and only dinner party went dreadfully wrong after I made the mistake of making salmon mousse using canned salmon.

I've made it through near on 20 years of independent living without being aware of any Dinner Parties being held within my social circle.

Mass gathering's for BBQ's are the closest we come. As others have mentioned I often have people over for an evening and cook for everyone but I certinaly wouldn't class it as formal or a dinner party.