h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, the politics of dinner parties!

Thanks to mobility issues, I don't do them any more; my dining table has become a "buffet" of stuff that I need to be accessible, that would otherwise be on high shelves. But I still have the table linens, the sterling silver flatware for 12, the cut-glass bowls for assorted pickled condiments, two kinds of glassware for iced water and wine, all the stuff for properly dressing a table. I have all these things from my ancestors, German-Americans who loved looking at the faces of their family and friends over a table groaning with "7 sweets and 7 sours".

The only political move I would make would be in controlling the size of the group so that the conversation would remain unified. Once I moved to a small town, however, I had to account for which couples weren't speaking to which couples. Who hates whom?

The disappearance of the men into another room to watch a game on tv, leaving the women alone, is crass. And, no offense to women with children, I was totally bored when the women in the group devoted the conversation to clothes, babies and what their kids were doing at school. I was always the woman who went off and looked for somebody to talk to about something interesting, which, more often than not, was a guy. I didn't want to seduce him, I wanted conversation. So I ceased to be invited to dinner parties.

>>My last and only dinner party went dreadfully wrong after I made the mistake of making salmon mousse using canned salmon.

I used real salmon, and a real mouse.

"I was always the woman who went off and looked for somebody to talk to about something interesting, which, more often than not, was a guy. I didn't want to seduce him, I wanted conversation. So I ceased to be invited to dinner parties" Asteroid lil


Maybe this is something we have in common there lil

One of the first things I noticed after my divorce was that I didn't get invited to dinners and other social events. Not that I ever have been a fan of formal events. Mum noticed the same when she was widowed.

If I invite people home for a meal, I'm rarely asked back. I have a few, mostly female, friends that regardless of their own marital status every now and then share a meal with me.

I don't think it's a coincidence that these friends, like myself, comes from a humble background. The bougeoisie seemingly can't handle single women refusing to see themselves as accesoires.

...and I never got the hang of "special" cutlery, china, glasses and such... Must be my proletarian upbringing

I'm 23 and the closest thing i have ever had to a dinner party is Christmas dinner.

i have for a while been planning to do afternoon tea with some of my female friends, as we don't see each other very often, and it would be fun to drink tea, eat cake and scones and play computer games (what?)

mini

Trust me, the "special" stuff is either shrink-wrapped or slowly gathering dust in the sideboard. It reminds me how how my ancestors were middle-class and how much times have changed.

Has anyone ever wondered why plates are supposed to match? It's more fun when they don't.

That's a good point, Happy Nerd. I am reminded of the film "Gosford Park" you remember the butler going round the table with a ruler, measuring the distance between the place settings, and lining up the wine glasses?

Actually, I do enjoy the effect when you walk into a room, such as a posh restaurant or a wedding reception where the whole room is colour-coordinated and sparkles with lavish silverware and candlesticks, and white table linen.

Wouldn't want it every day, though.

I love silly, really cheap table decorations - sometimes I think I invite people just so I can decorate the table. A few years ago I did a Thanksgiving menu and made little table decorations involving feathers, hats and macaroni, all in a red, white and blue colour scheme.

I'm still reeling from seeing Ged on this thread.

Back in the days when we used to have fairly frequent, low-key dinner parties, we had a pair of friends we nick-named The Universal Friends because we knew they'd get on well with anyone else at the table.
On one occasion, though, we invited a couple of men, each of whom were very witty. We mistakenly thought they'd spark off each other and be hugely entertaining for the rest of us It was not a success. They hated each other on sight and you could have cut the testosterone with a knife.

>>On one occasion, though, we invited a couple of men, each of whom were very witty. We mistakenly thought they'd spark off each other and be hugely entertaining for the rest of us erm It was not a success.

I often seem to encounter people who think they're more entertaining than do the rest of the diners.

I kinda love getting dressed up smart for a proper dinner party though. Much as I like informal eating with other there is something kinda cool about wearing your best threads and having some spiffy food.

Stressful as it is for the host/hostess at times whenver I have done it I have always found it worth the effort!

FB

>>Has anyone ever wondered why plates are supposed to match? It's more fun when they don't.<<

I have two sets of dishes, both in storage at the moment. One is china, all the same pattern (Blue Danube: http://www.kaboodle.com/store/giftcollector.com/blue-danube-china.html ), which is made by various manufacturers - I started off with five plates, four saucers, and a teacup that my grandmother had lying around, and had great fun finding more bits and pieces on eBay, all (more or less) the same pattern but in totally different shapes.

And then I have earthenware ones all from the same pottery, but each piece with a different pattern in blue and white. Fortunately, they make lots of patterns - stripes, spots, spirals, plaid... And they're all handmade, so they still don't always match.

Unfortunately, it's all in storage at Yarreau's until I figure out which country I'm actually going to live in for a reasonable length of time.

As for the ruler and the place settings, that used to be part of my job The table was laid for 14 people. In silver. And had to be re-laid every day, because we had to bring it all into the safe at night.

I agree with whoever said BBQs are superior to dinner parties.

Given the choice of something faffy and having to pretend red wine doesn't make me retch, or spending 6 hours outside eating burnt meat and demolishing crates of beer, I'd have to pick the latter.

We had a BBQ for the Royal Wedding. It was right posh. We had some venison burgers and a bottle of mead.

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My sentiments, exactly.

BBQ's don't have to be burnt-meat affairs, though. They can be wildly extravagant with a little thought given to the menu. Our 'do's' have gathered somewhat of a reputation now in our little corner of the world and the menu is always something that is eagerly anticipated.

At least that's what the guests tell us. However, I suspect it's more to do with starting at 4.00pm and finishing at 4.00am.

We do also have a little bit of a reputation with the local refuse-operatives who always seem to collect at precisely 4.00am when the guests are making embarrasing attempts to leave. It's also that time when I always seem to be in my finest singing voice.

I don't like BBQs - nobody ever takes vegetarians into account, or if they do, you get one little skewer with some vegetables, if you can even snag one before the omnivores eat them all

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You've, sadly, never been to one of ours then. That aspect is always the first consideration, for many reasons.

I personally enjoy the challenge of cooking for Vegetarians, and as I eat a fair amount of veggie food anyway I can usually churn out some pretty good shizzle.

I find it **helluva** annoying (as well as extremely ill mannered) when (as has happened to me on more than one occasion) people have come to eat at my gaffe having not told me about a major dietary requirement like new vegetarianism/veganism/allergy and intolerance.

How is one supposed to blooming well know?

FB

I have some allergies and extreme dislikes, but I try to let the cook know in advance -- and sometimes I wonder whether omni-allergists are attention-seeking. Yes, I know some allergies are mortal threats, but in that case, shouldn't the person bring their own food (and explain in advance).

I have a couple of what I call "allergy nazis" in my life. They never tell me in advance and they always seem to wait till the room is full before making me shut all the windows (pollen) or douse the candle (scented!) or dig out something to replace the cheese and crackers. And with them, there is always a brand-new allergy to bewail.

I myself did forget to tell the cook in advance once; I only have two food problems, shellfish and bell peppers. Dinner was shrimp lo mein and a green pepper salad. She was obliged to dig out some hot dogs and I was eventually invited back, but not before I ate a lot of humble pie.

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Do you *choose* to invite them, or do circumstances force your hand?