h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The human rights are quite a good place to start from. They are especially true for releationships.

Religion does not make people pleasant. Sometimes it has quite the opposite effect. Intelligent people do not have to be 'religious' in order to have ideals.

Religion sets his own limits which somehow keep a society on a line. I'm in a real trouble here because I can't express myself in English clearly enough. 50 years in USSR makes our society weak and nihilistic today. Living by the rules is easier than living without. Even if you fight the rules. And when we broke free, we had lots illusions about freedom and equality etc. They were illusions, now we are disappointed. Can you imagine majority of one society being disappointed - it doesn't matter, men or women. Only difference is that they behave in different ways in this situation.

Do not blame the situation on a lack of religion. I gather that the orthodox church is thriving and that saddens me. There is a theory, H.A.L.Fisher I think, that Britain's relative political stability since the great rebellion is largely due to the fact that a settled commercial 'class', though it may adopt the forms of religion, is essentially pragmatic.

Well, we can't believe in Communist Party any more, you know .
We still can't believe in economy and success.
We are not used to believe in God.
We don't believe in future.
We don't know how to believe in ourselves.

I read a research about situation here and look what I found about our people:
passive
listless, despondent
low selfesteem
no trust into the future
opened to the delinquent behaviour.

All this is not only about the lack of religion but it's about the lack of religion, too.

BTW official statistics just announced that average salary here in July-Sept was 460 DEM or 140 GBP. But in the same time people who get 140 GBP per month are considered to be well-paid. I want to be average citizen in this case.

Lies, damn lies and statistics. In the UK 10% of the people get (earn - I doubt it!) 90% of the income. Therefore less than 20% of the earning population recieve = or > the mean average wage. From each according to his (her) ability, to each according to his (her) needs.
So maybe Marx wasn't politically correct?

This 10%-90% thing doesn't work here so well, it's quite easy to have illegal income here. Unemployed people drive new MB-s and live in large villas.
"There are three kind of lies - small lies, big lies and statistics". (I don't remember who said so )

So what is different? 'Unemployed' people here drive new BMWs, but those who succeed, if the term may be so abused, in the 'black' economy are just as few as those who succeed in the legitimate economy. "Life is a bitch and then you die." (I think that one is by anon )

Casual relationships - i'm not sure if they really work.
i've just been dumped out of one. so maybe its all a bit too raw.
As for honesty ... oh yeah? HE was incredibly honest with me
- it hurts just as much. Right now I think I'd like to have been
ignorant of the whole thing!

Madre de dios! Back on topic. Casual relationships work for casual people.

Just FYI. It was Mark Twain who said, "there are three types fo lies. Lies, damn lies and statistics"

Just adding my 2 cents (not that it helps)

Lots of posting while I have been off-line.

Rainbow - I wanted to say how much I like your new name; and how appropriate it is. When I go into the garden, I can see where the slugs have been by the rainbows they leave behind them. Shine in the sky, for us Rainbow.

Also for Rainbow - talk to every girlfriend you can find - whether or not they have experience of the same situation you are in. Yes you DEFINITELY need to go to trained people, womens' groups, womens' refuges, etc. And act on their advice. But I cannot help remembering the old joke about how many social workers it takes to change a lightbulb ("None - but they have released a leaflet called 'Coping with Darkness'") So as well as talking to people who have been through your situation, you ALSO need to talk to people who haven't, so that that once you are out of your situation, and the world is different for you, you can remind yourself of how good it can be, and move on.

Catholics may not recognise divorce, but the law of the land does. (I assume you are in the UK?) Your husband may not "accept" it if you divorce him. But that doesn't make the divorce any less valid, or court orders any less enforcable.

You must get yourself physically out of his reach. I once had a relationship with a control-freak and mind-gamer. When I was not with him I knew he was bad news and I was in danger. When I was with him it all seemed to make some sort of sense... (Not that I was actually that happy, but if I did this or that, then maybe we would be happy.... etc).

I was lucky. We were at college, and we spent the vacation apart. I got enough clear head-space to dump him. But it still scares me, if we had not been at college, I have no idea how it might have ended.

So professional support, girlfriends, move out, get a court order, get a divorce, and keep looking up at the sky. (And remember, that Rainbow can be short for "Rainbow Warrior"!)

Good luck, and keep us posted. I reply to emails if you ever want to get in touch - [email protected].

Sorry to add another post - but I have loads of things to add to what was posted last week. Old news for you guys - sorry.

Hatifnat - You are living proof that the Internet brings people together. I know no Russians (Are you Russian? You mention communism, but I don't want to assume that you are not from one of the other former Soviet nations).

You have brought the problems of post-communist societies to life in a few postings more vividy than all the newspaper articles and documentaries we get in the West. Incidentally, you write beautiful and eloquent English. My heart goes out to you and your fellows, not that that does any good.

Perhaps, just perhaps, by bringing people of wide-spread cultures together in fora like these, H2G2 and the Internet will truly help us to a more equal and better world. You and Percy have brought me up short a couple of times this weekend, and made me realise that western Europe is very small, and pretty untypical. Thank you for your postings.

Nicknames
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

Eating out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

Dressing up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

All stolen from somewhere or other.

I don't like the "deteriorating throughout the night" bit.

A Girl Called Ben - thank you for your kind words - things are difficult at the moment, I can't face going into details, but I am just trying to get through Christmas making it as pleasant for the boys as possible. Unfortuantely, I think things have got to get a lot worse before they get better.

my thoughts on the subject (and the more perceptive ofyou will have noticed I am a man ) is that no person of any gender can understand any one els. wich is a good thing because the would would get boring if you could
alot of men will do stupid an thoughtlewss things but in reallaty only a few are uter basterds. allot of time we dont realise we have hert someone and because we dont realise it we dont try and fix it.

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Generalisations never work. Ever. All men, women, chickens and children are different. Some fathers may not notice their children until they're old enough to kick a ball or answer back. Some mothers may be the same. Some fathers would obviously be the opposite...

What am I trying to say?

I understand A man. I know what motivates me.