h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>If you want the item in question to be in a permanent state of arousal, then give the lady concerned a Credit Card on your account. Works every time<

I disagree, slightly. The credit card is one of the greatest *lubricants* known to mankind, but it doesn't bring lasting satisfaction.

Try inserting an ice-cube up the fanny then, rub her bean with it......
trust me it works, if not try putting an alka-seltzer inside her... its good fun.

Depends on the woman being vocal and being honest are the best ways to find what she likes some like it more dangerous or changes in temp than others.

I think you better go and play with your bedsnake young man

*blinks*

Be sweet to her, slap some spacedust on her tictac.

*giggles as she remember an old joke*

*wonders if the s have come out of shock yet*

Any day now...

Anyway, carry on clitoris

I'll amend that last bit of advice. To be absolutely sure of cropdusting the target correctly, buy an economy size bag of spacedust, go to your local planthire shop and get a sandblaster, et voila.

Alternatively take the spacedust and fill her pants*, cover the corners of the washing machine, the inside of her ladyshave, her shoulder massager, and that electric toothbrush you always thought tasted 'funny'(sic).



*If the female in question is from Pollok you will need to buy her a burberry thong and include instructions for use.

Wumbeevil- kills all know conversations, DEAD!


Ah yes Pollok, that bastion of 'pure class, man' (adopt whiney ned effect)

*giggles*

Gentle on ones nipples just doesn't quite hit the spot < <

No mate, this thread ain't dead, it's total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged spacedusting.


PS Is it just me or does the guy on the packet appear to be holding the business end of a sandblaster complete with hose?

http://www.handycandy.co.uk/fizz-wizz-popping-candy-p-164.html