h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How long would yer average bloke have to go without shaving in order to cultivate the likes of this? http://www.listal.com/viewimage/348909

(Not that I want to, mind. Just wonderin'.)

And another thing: if I *never* got a haircut for the rest of my life, how long would my hair grow before it stopped? I've never cut my eyebrows, but they don't get any longer. Or eyelashes, hair on my legs etc. When does head hair stop?

I don´t believe your hair ever stops growing. It just reaches a point where the wear and tear on it, equals the amount of new growth. For example a person with long hair, would have some rather old hair cells at the end of the hair. Those would likely be worn down quite quickly compared to the newer hair at the other end.

Well, that's true; in the case of eyebrows and so on, we're constantly shedding them and growing new ones. But they do reach a length where they won't get any longer.

I'll be able to provide a fairly accurate reading of the speed of beards quite soon. On New Years Day I trimmed my entire head down pretty much to skin level. I just took a reading with a handy ruler and a mirror and I'd say my stubble is at about a quarter of an inch. So, for me, it looks like the speed of beard is about half an inch a month or six inches a year. This number is roughly in line with the impression I've had over the years of how quickly I become Grizzly Adams: http://www.briangordon.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/grizzly-adams.jpg

For what it's worth, my beard seems to grow more quickly than my head hair.

It likely also depends on the person, some people get a 5´o´clock shadow a lot earlier than 5´o´clock.

In my case it's been around 1 beard per quarter ie 4/year.. distinctly beard, that is, not just stubble. But then, I seem to have strong growth (except on the very top).

So, if the speed of light is when something moves so quickly you don't see it move, presumably the speed of beards is when something moves so *slowly* you can't see it move.

What a useful phrase. Thank you.

I have also often puzzled over why some body hair does not grow beyond a certain length, and other hair just keeps on going. My head hair is now down to the base of my spine, not having been cut for about four years - it does seem to be slowing down in its rate of growth but it's hard to tell.

When I started shaving my legs, my mother made dire predictions that 'the more you shave it the faster it grows'. I discounted this at the time on the grounds that if it were true, eventually I would be shaving my legs three times a day instead of once a week. Maybe there's something in it - I do know somebody who shaves twice a day, but then he's obsessive about having a smooth chin.

My DH, who now just has baby fluff on the top of his head, can still grow a decent beard in about a fortnight.

Mol

When did mankind start removing their beards? Presumably it would have been sometime during the paleolithic period with flint/bone/shell cutters?

There was a guy from Pakistan at university. I was rather amazed at how he managed to regrow a walrus moustache in just three days.

I'm more amazed that the University authorities allowed him to keep a walrus.

B

Hair doesn't 'wear down' it falls out after a while and a new one takes its place. That's why is appears to stop growing - each hair will grow for a time prescribed by one's own gentics then fall out.

The answer is the same as that one about the piece of string. It depends entirely upon the person. Some have hair that will grow down to the floor - some will not.

Not sure what the average is or of the standard deviation personally.

It was a very well-behaved walrus.

Something I don´t get is why people in warm places like the Middle East and India are so hairy. You would expect that to be more useful in colder countries.

I tried to do Movember this year and didn't shave my upper lip for a month. 'Tried' being the operative word - I didn't even have a 5 o'clock shadow by the end of the month.

The hair on my head grows at a prodigious rate though. I have a mate who has a 5 o'clock shadow by 9am, but is almost completely bald at the age of 25. I think I prefer my condition.

Limited observation suggests the following:

Bald and beardy = testosterony.

Luxurious head of hair and silky smooth chin... less testosterony, shall we say.

That said, Lionel Blair has three children, two grandchildren and has been married for forty years, whereas James Randi came out last year. So that theory is obviously a load of badgers' nadgers.

A guy I knew at uni literally did not shave the entire time he was there and had a chin like the proverbial baby's. Twenty years on, however, he now sports a thick goatee and if he shaved it off it would be back within a week. Again, go figure.

There is something to that though and there is a correlation with sexuality, though it seems to be oestrogen that's the factor: I'm my parents third son and my younger brother is also unable to grow facial hair and is bisexual. Our elder brother is like a chimp.

It's not a cast-iron thing - if it was, bears wouldn't exist and my aforementioned mate wouldn't be bi - but if a bloke does have lovely flowing locks in his 40s and a couple of elder brothers there's a good chance he dines at the downstairs restaurant.

"Our elder brother is like a chimp."

I assume you mean in terms of hairiness, and not sexuality.

B

Hair, behaviour, personal hygiene - take your pick.

But, in as much as he is able to attract partners, they're women.

As Orcus says, hair keeps growing until it reaches a length set by your genetics and the position on the body, and then it stops growing, waits a while, falls out, and a new hair grows.

For white people, the length of head hair is down to about your waist. Some people can grow their hair long enough to sit on, others can't. Very occasionally you will get a person who can grow their hair down to ground level but that is probably one in a hundred thousand. I don't think beards grow to more than about 30cm in general.

People of other races have different hair lengths. Chinese people don't seem to grow beards easily but can grown long moustaches.

I think those chinese moustaches will be pretty thin as well. They´d never get a proper handlebar going.

Lionel Blair is straight...so all those comments on 'I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue' about him are just jokes? Well I never...you'll be telling me Samantha doesn't exist yet. I raise a small Semillon to the girl whatever.