h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You'd best get a move on.

The bread's sort of ok.
The fish - I think you may have been right, kea.
The water's fizzing a bit.
The bacon's ok - running around quite happily.

So come on. Find him. Get him dressed in his cardboard & brown paper traveling suit with a label tied firmly around his neck and send him off.

oh well then -

I'll send him express ----> Amy in CA


Here y'all are! Enjoy!

Best to wash him before handling, in case he's dirty.

Look - I have to keep that bit private between 2legs and me, there are some details that even I cannot divulge

I don't think 2legs' kind of dirty washes off. He might not make it through customs either, because of the alcohol content.

Rod, I'm afraid I still have no idea what you are talking about

But now that I've reread the thread I do

I put 'handle with care' in a very prominent place. I also think the sleeping potion I gave him, before wrapping, might be wearing off any moment. He might start talking soon.

'Handle with care'? I'd have put 'handle with gloves' - but maybe 2legs would prefer 'handle with tongs' or something like that.

Whaaat..... wherrre? whoo? hang on *extracates himself from packinging wheres my bacon!

Drat! I never could get the hang of Thursdays, nor tying...

Its Thursday!? Thursday is bacon day!

Your bacon's out there in the paddock
But where are you?

Oh, Amy in CA.
C'mon Amy, the bread's getting critical & the water's going er sort of yellowy brown

*checks shipping info*

Hm, the website says, "Package escaped in transit. Estimated delivery time: ???"

Any sightings of the Beast of Bodmin Moor? No? Oh.

Dressed like that, maybe he's been recycled.

NEWS FLASH:

US and UK airports were put on high alert today after the reported terrorist sighting amongst trans-atlantic mail. A package was intercepted briefly but the contents fled with alacrity and cunning that surprised customs and security staff. Suspect is described as devious and smelling of pork, but further details are being withheld due to security reasons. apprehended near the scene are being questioned, and breadcrumbs have been sent to forensics for investigation.

There are further reports that there is now a shortage of alacrity, as the contents of that package have fled with most of it. Any persons finding traces of alacrity are advised to treat them with caution and alert the authorities.

Reports of bacon flavoured alacrity continue to roll in as police plead for calm and reassure the public that the missing contents of the parcel will soon be traced and contained.

In the meantime, the parcel remains discontented.

Not to mention the many members of the protection league.

Package may give of crackling do no go near it.