h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not seen the Weetabix advert; I usually have three Weetabix cos buggerlugs always comes up wanting to share my brekkie

I hate those Nestle wholegrain adverts. I think they're misleading and I just hate em

Right, I'm off to watch some tell-o-vision tonight. I shall report back on the stupidity of the adverts. (I'm sure there'll be some!)

RF

Right.

Why *do* optical retailers in the UK cause powercuts in the US? Cos I can't figure that one out at all.

RF

"Bold 2-in-1 'Infusions' with Amethyst and Rose, Ruby and Jasmine or Diamond and Lotus Flower"

Oooh, a new strategy has emerged. I guess that every product must now contain at least one "derivative of beechwood extract" or some other vaguely vegetable-related additive in unspecified quantities, so we've got minerals now?

I look forward to the day when hyping superfluous additives is old hat, and they have to return to citing the active ingredients: "Contains sodium hypochlorite and ammonia, derived naturally from chemical plant effluent"

My all time favorite was a Kentucky Fried Chicken ad that was later pulled by whatever governing body does that sort of thing.

It was a guy in sweat pants sitting on the couch. His wife comes in and says “eating right starts today”. He started complaining and she plunks down a bucket of fried chicken in front of him.

It made me laugh every time I saw it. I have no idea what they were trying to pull there unless it was just a matter of chicken being better for you than a big piece of red meat.

Here is the nutrition guide: http://www.yum.com/nutrition/documents/kfc_nutrition.pdf

Maybe it depends on your definition of healthy, the chicken and biscuit bowl is only 870 calories and 44 grams of fat.

Chicken and biscuit bowl ...

Only in America

What are these biscuits? Are they something like a crisp dumpling? Anyone know?

And while we're at it - why can't you get mashed potatoes at UK KFCs? Why is it always fries?

Deb

You can get both 'fries' and mashed potatoes here, according to taste, but it's difficult working out the various combinations and prices (it's not a true option really, just a matter of choosing which 'combo' appeals and has the options you want.)

Vicky

I've just seen an advert for a computer game called Grand Theft Auto IV. You may have heard of it.

In the advert, the protagonist spends all his time walking around. Not much of a car thief, if you ask me.

RF

In the GTA IV ad, the protagonist also manages to smash a car window with his elbow. Not very good security glass, IMO.

Would this be the new GTA IV, now with added 90% stronger steel reinforced elbows, enhanced with extra calcium, by any small chance?

There's one product that does contain "derivative of beechwood extract" - L'Oreal's Dermagenesis with Pro-Xylane. The Pro-Xylane is a compound from Eastern European beech trees.

Am I the only person who's a bit peeved that the voice on the ads pronounces it 'proxy lane'. The way it's spelt, surely it should be 'pro zylane'. That's two distinct words, not one blended word you stupid woman. Not that I'd buy the over-priced stuff anyway.

She was probably told to pronounce it the way the average moron who's seduced by pseudo-scientific beauty products would.

L'Oreal invented the stuff, so I guess they can pronounce it however they like. Found this somewhere:

"Abstract;Pro-Xylane is a new derivative of xylose with skin anti-aging activity. The molecule is synthesized by an eco-friendly green process using a raw material derived from a renewable source. Mimicking the action of xylose, Pro-Xylane activates glycosaminoglycans (GAG) synthesis in dermal fibroblasts and reinforces dermal-epidermal junction by activating syntheses of the molecules involved, such as collagens and adhesion proteins. The molecule also stimulates the expression of hyaluronic acid receptors (CD44) on the surface of keratinocytes. In vivo studies showed that Pro-Xylane increased the skin elasticity, and was efficient to improve wrinkles, sagging and pigmentation of the aged women's skin. (author abst.)"

The usual tactic is to put in trace quantities of mushed up fruit so they can claim it contains natural ingredients. But this goes way beyond that; this stuff is only *derived* from a natural raw material. I have two problems with this:

1. *Everything* is derived from natural raw materials somewhere down the line.

2. The source of the original compound is no indicator of the properties of the final compound. You can make rocket fuel out of water, for instance. Plastic is made from oil, which comes from very natural dead organisms.

Pro-Xylane itself is produced in a chemical factory, same as all the other ingredients; it's no more 'natural' than plastic.

Read something else interesting recently, which I'll post here as it seems vaguely relevant. Everyone knows that there's hardly any evidence to prove whether all this anti-aging crap actually works or not. Apparently cosmetics companies employ some top scientists, and do actually carry out a lot of research, they just don't publish it. What I didn't realise was the reason for this.

If the research proved that the products don't work then no-one would buy them, clearly. If the research proved that they do work; that is, and have some kind of measurable physiological effect, then they risk the active ingredient being classified as a pharmaceutical. If that happened, they might be prevented from selling it over the counter. It's in their interests to maintain the mystery since gullible people will continue to buy it as long as there is doubt.

I think I read much the same in the New Scientist.

There must be some leagal loophole here, because if you are selling something on the basis that it has a medicinal effect (I would say that "In vivo studies showed that Pro-Xylane increased the skin elasticity" is just that) then you should have to prove that and satisfy saftey requirements of a skin applied medicine.

N.S. reckoned that if skin cream companies bit the bullet and had their products clasified as pharmaceuticals people would buy them all the more, but I suspect they overlook the massively increased burden of manufacture to pharma standards, regulation, labeling and so forth that would come with this. People would still buy it but they would make less money because of the regulation, and that is what they are doing at the end of the day; making money.

Sorry. I'll stop ranting now.



Ugi

So there I was, innocently walking home from the orifice.

I noticed a truck with a big "Golden Arches" motif on it. On the side of the truck was a bunch of cows, eating grass, in a field in which were stacked some haystacks. The haystacks had been artfully (?) arranged to spell out the words "All our milk is from UK farms".

So, I wondered to myself, exactly how much is in a beefburger?

How much is in the chips (or "fries" as they insist on calling them)?

How much is in the brandname cola?

Come to that, is there actually any in their so-called shakes? I thought it was all powdered seaweed and similar.

RF

Prize for humility and honesty has to go to the Citroen C5 ad - "unmistakably German - made in France".

Not convinced they'll sell many cars though.

I love that ad, not least because it annoys so many others

I'm currently disliking the BT one. Now, in all I've not been a hater of these, but spending all day doing sod all and then geting nothing but rolled eyes for it... At least be honest and say you had a day off, and while you had the day off you booked the holiday, why hang it out like you're getting one over on her? GRR!

I once asked why men fancy Lois Griffin (Family Guy). I'm told it's for two reasons. She's likes having sex, and she forgives everything he does, good or bad, without nagging and hassling and getting angry with (except on rare occasions... When she ends up backing down or seeing the good side in the end anyway).

It's a model of 'good wifey' I deeply resent!