h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sick to death of all those "twisted-reality" mobile phone ads, where people bend walls and stuff, or stuff falls from the sky, and everyone is in their early 20s and attractive, and seem to be in some kind of ecstatic trance as they go about their ideal lives, and some godawful 60s easy-listening song plays in the background.

However, the green energy (Powergen?) rip-off where seeds fall from the sky onto people - allegedly because they're on an environmentally-friendly tariff and thus "at one with nature" - is worse.

I'm hating the Littlewoods ads with Trinny and Susannah!

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Nivea Oxygen Power moisturiser, one of those unspecified-generic-womens'-products-in-a-can, , boasting "15% pure oxygen".

Call me anal, but I just can't let that one go. Depsite oxygen being a very reactive and nasty substance, pure oxygen is clearly seen as "a good thing". Perhaps they should bundle every can of Oxygen Power with a bottle of Natural-citrus-extract-shampoo-containing-patented-vital-antioxidants to balance the cell damage caused by the former's free-radicals.

But I digress. 15% pure isn't really very pure at all. In fact it implies 85% impurities. Maybe they're referring to "pure" molecular oxygen, as opposed to an oxygenated compound. Oxygen has a boiling point of about -183 C, pretty cold, meaning that it'd need to be under quite a lot of pressure to stay liquid in that can. Not impossible, but highly unlikely methinks.

It also means that it would boil instantly on leaving the can, forming a gas which would just add slightly to the oxygen already present in the air. I suspect in reality it's actually just oxygen locked up in some kind of compound, such as, say, water. The fact its a *moisturiser* also leads me to suspect that water - sorry aqua - might be involved somewhere.

Then it occurred to me that the atmosphere is already about 21% "pure oxygen". So whatever supposed health benefit this product is claimed to have, you'd get more of it by just exposing your face to some air.

In which case the last thing you'd want to do was introduce a barrier between your skin and the air, by applying moisturising cream, for example.

There's a Lynx shower gel whose bottle proudly boasts "Stimulating MgO2", which always makes me wince when I see it. I'm not sure whether they mean it contains metallic magnesium and gaseous oxygen, or magnesium that's had four electrons removed, but either way I'm sure it would be extremely "stimulating" when you drop it on your bare skin.

Oh yes, that shower gel with oxygen is supposed to help you with hangovers. Those few bubbles of oxygen being rubbed against your skin apparently helps more than all the stuff you might breathe in from the air.

Nivea are really at it with the crap adverts...they have some posters on the tube which say "Nivea deodorant - with lemongrass freshness!" or some such guff. How do they choose to illustrate "lemongrass freshness"? With limes.

I guess lemongrass just ain't photogenic enough.

RF

Bit cynical. At the end of a hard day's work when I'm feeling a bit sweaty I always make a beeline for the lemongrass.

whereas I go for the limes...

that Treseme (sp??? frankly I don't care) hair ads "the professionals don't want you to have it" guff really gets on my nerves

Does that mean if I buy it I might get a knock on my door late one night by hairdressers who will kidnap me and torture me with hot curling irons?

If you're very lucky!

RF

Please tell me that "snappin turtle" advert has finished so I can turn on my tv again.

There's some advert at the moment for car insurance featuring a middle-aged woman who points out that the company she's plugging caters for "older drivers".

At one point she says "If you've not had a shunt for a few years then..."

Reader, I did an innuendo-based snicker.

Oh, and anyone who hates adverts should love Charlie Brooker...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=znz0f9CjtV4

Absolutely agree with that remark

What about the one which has been done for saying it 'protects against electromagnetic radiation...'? (For Clarins Expertise 3P gloop )

What gets my goat is massive multi national global domination inc. pretending that they are a family or family friendly business .
johnson and johnson and walmart are prime examples of this . We all know they are just money making machines run by faceless executives in manhatten skyscrapers . who do they think they are kidding ?
well thats my worth . normal service will now resume .


best fishes.......tod

There was another mobile phone ad that took over a sweet little song from Sesame Street about the Ladybugs's Picnic. Now, it was fun to reminice, but through a mobile phone advert???!!!

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now *that* is what I call bad science!

>> 'protects against electromagnetic radiation...'? <<

Oh! Oh! Haven't seen that one yet. I wonder what levels of attenuation they're claiming and at what frequencies? towards telly