h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Interesting point about the American's there. I had a US friend a few years back who was simultaneously 'dating' 3 girls at once.

A british friend of one of them told them all and you can imagine how many of the three he was left with.
He was completely mystified by this and rather upset and asked me straight out - 'don't you guys date in this country?'

Obviously not - I never did get what he was up to but now you have enlightened me.
Maybe he wasn't such a tosser after all.

Xanatic. Welcome to the game of trying to work out what's going on in the female mind. They of course will tell you it's obvious - but they are women so it would be to them. They are mystified with us as we are with them though I've noticed.
Why would a bloke want to be just friends when it's not enough?

I used to struggle with this one, and maybe would again if I suddenly became single again. To be honest though I long ago overcame my bashfulness in this area and learned that cutting to the chase was a much better move than anything else. At least you know quickly and move on if it's a waste of time.

When having a meal say

"We're on a date, behave. There will be time for that later"

If she says, "Are you asking me out on a DATE??" I'd think friendship is what she's after...

My friend had a routine that worked well for him: Ask her out for a coffee, or a drink -- less pressure. If you two don't hit it off, you're out without too much embarrassment. If the two of you spend hours over coffee, *something* is happening!

I have to show you this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPqBV6LhuW8

Doesn't it depend on who it is? I'm reluctant to do this to another one of your questions, but I'd also like to know how to tell someone that it's certainly not what you'd probably call a date when they assume that it is one. Sound good? Certainly isn't.

I'm still at a loss by what you mean by date. Do you mean that you expect to jump into bed? Do you mean that you expect them to know that there is a romantic attachment? Do you mean that they should be aware that they have become engaged thereafter?

How much easier life would be if we were all bonobos.

I wonder what it says about my reputation on here that people assume it´s about sex. I would just like if going on a date with a girl, that she understands I´m not looking for a new friend but asked them out because she´s the kind of girl I might want to be in a relationship with. I could just hang out with them in a friendly manner, but once they see you as just a friend I don´t think there´s much way out of that.
I´m heading out with a girl tommorow, and sent her a text using the word date just to give her a hint. We´ll see if it worked. Of course not every language has a word for date.

>> Of course not every language has a word for date. <<

Try the word for "coconut" instead.

RF

Xanatic,
why don´t you forget about the word "date"
If you really like the girl try to see if you share with her similar pastimes and invite her, let´s say... to walk along parks, skate, visit museums...whatever. Try to enjoy with her and forget about if she perceives it as a date or not. If you like each other you will tell it without need of the word date, even without words. Look at her eyes, at her smile.
And listen to her... of course!

If she doesn't realise it's a "date" (good thing we don't really have such a thing over here!) then it probably means she's not interested in being something other than friends...

Maybe this thread should be 'How do you tell someone you fancy them'?

Yeah, it seems to me to be pretty obvious what Xanatic means but hey ho.

Wow, apparently my earlier post has been referred for moderation.

Someone is clearly easily offended.

if she sticks her tongue in your mouth at the end of the night

.......it was a date!!!!!!!

I used to work on the basis that if they were prepared to be seen, alone, with me, in public - then it was surely a date.

(I realise there is a certain dichotomy around 'alone, with me in public' but hey)

Interesting that my post on this thread has returned, yet another, was actually failed yesterday for the use of the same word.
(when I was complaining about the referral of the above )

Consistency?

Don't get it.

Stop thinking of time spent with a woman who doesn't want a long term relationship as time wasted.

Take her out. Don't worry about "date" or "not date". Just have a good time. Watch her lips when she talks. Get her to say the word "plinth", slowly. Even if it never goes further, you had a good time and got some practice at all that tedious "talking to them" stuff you have to go through to get the good stuff. Never underestimate the value of practice.

Practice three times per woman, no more. If by the end of the third date it's still not clear whether she fancies you back - i.e. if by the end of the third date you've not even kissed properly - that's enough practice with that one, and further time practicing with that one will likely only limit your technique. Get another.

>>Get another.

Or...keep that one as a friend, and look for another for something more. Some men don't manage the trick of having female friends. What a shame for them.

Why 'plinth'?

It's a funny old thing, I get on better, on the whole, with men. I know for a fact that more than one of these men, in the past anyway, has wanted more than friendship with me... At the end of the day, if I'm single then I have no problem with a chap telling me he'd like to get closer to me (so long as he's willing to listen to the answer!).

What really upsets me is if I say that I'm happier being friends and they disappear over the horizon. Or they think that because they said something, I owe them something. Luckily enough that behaviour does leave plenty of space for actual friends. And with actual friends gender and attraction doesn't enter into anything, you're mates and that's just the way it is!

I should imagine that plinth, said slowly, causes all sorts of potentially sensuous movements of the mouth and tongue?