h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This has really naffed me off.

How dare she make comments like that!
What was her name and which hospital does she work at?

She's gonna find a horse's head in her bed.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

I think what I'm going to do is talk to a couple of acquaintances who are of the particular ethnic/racial group concerned, and ask them how offensive they consider what was said to me was. I should have said something at the time, and the more time that passes, the harder it is to bring it up. I think I'm likely to just leave it, but I don't feel terribly good about it.

What was said to me was offensive in a way that my parallel case about Italians and pizza restaurants isn't. It's not as bad as asking someone called Patel if they own a chain of newsagents, but it's closer to that. It's not a case of me deciding to be offended on behalf of other people - this was genuinely an offensive comment.

Well, at least you've thought about it Otto, so if it happens again you are more prepared. If it did happen again in another situation - say you were joining a library - what would you do?

I work in a spectacularly heteronormative environment where some individuals occasionally tip over into homophobia, and I find it tricky knowing when to call them on it and when to let it go.

<>

in the example above the sort of reply to offend them in return would be

Oi, I'm not a P**i, I'm a f*****g r*ghead,

then watch the stunned look on their face!!!!!!!!

(apologies if i have offended anyone i was trying to make an example)

i often use comments about sheep shagging to make people who make thoughtless comments uncomfortable

Another thing to take into account - how old was she, and had you seen her before at this surgery?

If she was new to the job, she may have just been nervous, and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. She's probably berating herself for being stupid.

I had a student doctor take blood off me a while ago, and his hands were shaking so badly I had to tell *him* jokes to calm him down!

Taff,

You've seen this news item about Prince Harry ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7822883.stm

Cabinet minister John Denham said it was "offensive", while the Ramadhan Foundation called the prince a "thug".

I'm not trying to 'stir it up', but I find the whole thing pathetic but typical.
I'm pretty sure Prince Harry was being 'friendly', myself.

warner

i was not saying those things, i was using them as an example

i have had thoughtless comments made about being welsh, and the look of horror on peoples faces when i explain in detail about the correct method to go about f*****g sheep, they soon realize the error of their ways.

they don't make racist comments around me anymore and no-one losses their job

Taff, I've always wanted to know, is the wellie-technique an urban myth made up by townies (like cow-tipping) or is it actually useful in those situations.

B

these days the best method is the kilt and the Velcro gloves

the kilt is because due to years of evolution the sheep now fear and flee the sound of a zipper

while the Velcro gloves give a better grip than hand to wool

homosexual sheep shagging is a more secure option, as the horns are much easier to get a firm grip on

and of course there is the question, why do you kiss a sheep before you shag it????......you don't want to get an ugly....do you?

Ah, in the olden days before zippers, flies were done up with buttons...

Technology, eh?

B

Taff - I think you're moving away from the area of "highlighting a faux pas" and into the territory of confirming the idea.

<>

the usual thing is

"oh your welsh!! how are you boyo???? how green was my valley" etc. etc.

to which i reply "oh i'm fine butt, and i f**k sheep as well, if you must know"

""silence........oh.....ar....er.....silence"

I wonder if any members of the thuggee were offended by the prince being called a thug.

Being Icelandic, which has heretofore generally been seen as quite , I've had some interesting comments lobbed my way since the Debacle.

Oddly enough, one was from the nurse taking my blood at my clinic, so I wonder whether this particular nurse gets about a bit. Nurse noticed traditional English surname, odd first name and asked where I'd got that. I explained I was in fact, a forreign, specifically from Iceland and she went a bit pale, then a bit pink and said 'well we won't discuss that then' but she then couldn't entirely refrain and piped in with a comment on where the money was and did we (i.e. the Icelandic) all work in a bank? (This was early on in the debacle, with the whole extent of things not yet clear.) I responded in a fairly caustic way, thanked her for her concern and said that my family was indeed fine and did have enough food. She shut up pretty quickly, although the whole thing didn't stick in her mind because the whole thing started up again when I next had my blood taken.

The other one was much nicer and funnier. I was at a bank, not my local branch, in December. The cashier, who was a man in his forties, noticed my name and tried to pronounce it, giving it a fairly good go. He also asked where it came from - my response was that it was a bit of a sensitive subject as we were in a bank, but I was in fact from Iceland. He laughed, I laughed and the whole thing was fine.


In the second circumstance, I ain't bothered. The first one though is a habitual offender and maybe I should have said something. However, I usually get my own back and as long as they don't complain about my language, I won't complain about theirs.

To those who suggested a witty comeback as the best approach...should one have to be in the position of thinking one up?

So I guess the conclusion is that in this case it's possibly too late to take it up. Correct? Well - in that case, lesson learned: Pull people up at the time!

But - damn! - why do some eejits have to make life so hard?

Otto Fisch

Firstly, if you were not offended then whats the problem?

Taking your 'Italian' assumption.

Italian people tend to open pizza places don't they?

Why were you surprised? Was it that we have all been programmed to take any mention of a racial stereotype is potentially racist and offensive?

It was obviously meant as a light-hearted comment. Personally, I have no problem with people being stereotypical about me bening British, French people have called me 'you roast beouf' to my face and then gone onto say 'potentially' insulting and offensive things stereotyping us Brits...but of course, it was not insulting and offensive at all it was on a broad-brush true and I think it's quite quint that those 'lamb-burning, garlic-smelling, cheese-munching surrender monkeys' have a nickname for us and think we are strange with poor culinary skills and wonder why we put vinegar on chips.

If something is said without any malice at all and can be seen as a stereotype then I think that's fine it realises that all different countries have their own little foibles and ways.

In your situation I would have probably said: 'If only I were Italian and could make a good pizza! It's just the name that's Italian.'

It is quite possible that the nurse might have asked why you have an Italian name...something to talk about?

I find it depressing that everyone now has to watch out what they say and everything is being labelled as potentially offensive as it creates a culture that everyone is one tenterhooks and Pavlovianly start to take offensive which is how major problems start.

The more people start to take the situation and meaning from 'potentially' offensive statements and realise they aren't and take it as it was meant we may actually start living together a bit better.

I've just realised this happens to me quite a bit, but I've never thought of it as racist. See what you think.

My surname sounds French but I'm not. In fact it's not my name, but the ex Mr coelacanth's which I took when we married. He's not French either. I didn't change it when we divorced because it was easier to have the same surname as my young children.

I used to be a teacher, now I'm not but I do supply/substitute teaching. And I get quite a lot of bookings for French cover, since that's what they assume my subject is. And when I explain that it isn't, people are usually surprised. I've never thought to pass any comment about stereotyping.

I've often been accused of giving myself airs for insiting on the "de" in front of my surname. It's not a French nobility thing, it's a quite common and integral part of my Dutch surname

Still, there's a difference between not being aware that something is offensive, and deliberately being rude.

warner

FINALLY, we agree about something!