h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame 2legs for increasing paranoia

I blame 2legs for more of the same.

Awww wahtsUP? wanna talk about it somewhere?

I blame 2legs for my not owning any items of clothing with sequins on...

Maybe. But it's too complicated. I'll see how it goes.

I blame 2legs.

I blame 2legs for worry and tiredness and the fact that my kitty absolutely, positively *needs* to take her half out of the middle of any sleeping surface I might want to use.

pah!; nice storey, via my Brohter about my Father, the family dog, and sleeping surfaces.....

The other night, dog woke my Father up, scratching to be allowed out of the bedroom...
Father got up, opened door.
Dog jumped into the space he'd just vacated in the bed, crawled under the duvet, into the warm spot where Father had been laying, and put her head onto the pillow and went to sleep, so Father had to vacate the bedroom! I blame 2legs for dog-owners who're not strict enough with their pets

I also blame 2legs for my waking before 7 AM, and for the dough which has already nearly finished its first rise

I also blame 2legs for the heart-ache each time William comes, and then has to go home again and for each time I meet him, again, being like falling in love with him for the first time, all over again...

I blame 2legs for noise.

Working from home today. Next door were cutting their hedges earlier with the extra-whiny cutters, now the bloke over the road has just decided to sand down his front door with an electric sander, and someone else out the back somewhere has just fired up their 7000 HP lawnmower. Now there's a plane going over. All this noise is making the dog down the road bark constantly. Cotton wool in ears time

I blame 2legs for the person who knocked on my door at 07:00, waking me up but not staying long enough for me to throw clothes on and answer the door.

In fact, it may have been 2legs himself (or a henchman, henchmen are notoriously impolite and impatient).

I blame 2legs for a picnic and a concert in the park.

Yesterday I got tipped £7.37, €12.70, and a pear. I blame 2legs for the pear.

Why, was it not a very nice pear? I blame 2legs for the 2 rolls I am making for my lunch... and the consequentual need to make more bread, probably later on today, and tommorrow

I don't like pears, probably 2legs' fault.

I bet Mal has a very nice pear

one of my favorite fruits... or was, until it became impossible to buy fruit from anywhere which wasn't a supermarket, who's fruit is uniformly tasteless

I blame 2legs for 2rolls, 2eggs, and probably 2sausages.

I'll have to blame 2legs for that double entendre

for once... and perhaps once only... it really* wasn't!; I'm cooking two rolls in the oven, and I'm boiling two duck eggs... and, if all goes to plan, I'll cook a couple of sausges too, and then, quite predictably form these items together, into an appropiate form, for my lunch!

I blame 2legs for my addiction to home made bread, and duck eggs... and probably to sausage too

I blame 2legs for the strange Belgian lunch I got yesterday.

It was a cardboard box containing:

1 pear (probably where my "tip" came from, too)
1 banana
1 soft roll with ham and cheese, wrapped in tinfoil.
1 tuna fish sandwich, wrapped in tinfoil.
1 plain soft roll, wrapped in tinfoil.
1 chunk of cheese, wrapped in plastic wrap.
2 slices unidentified meat, wrapped in plastic wrap.
1 hardboiled egg wrapped in tinfoil. (Even though the shell was still on! )
2 cream crackers, wrapped in plastic wrap.
2 biscuits, wrapped in plastic wrap.
1 slice cake, wrapped in plastic wrap. I didn't try the cake, because it's purple-ish and has the colour and texture of spam, but I was assured it was cake
1 packet mustard
1 packet mayonnaise
1 sachet salt
1 sachet pepper

And a plastic knife.

Now you be careful with that plastic knife young lady!
You know how accident prone you are.


~jwf~

Speaking of which, I blame 2legs for vicious picnic tables!

That, and a PC which I suspect was made by Trabant.

Don't remind me - my hand is still blue and swollen! Obviously 2legs' fault.