h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame 2legs for blisters, empty fridge and pout kittehs. He really should have done the shopping yesterday. Do you really think the spoiled Lair Cats settle with dry food for breakfast?

I blame 2legs for the fact that there was a blockage in our oil line and the compressor wasn't working. I blame him for the fact that it was blowing through all its fuses, and for the fact that replacing the fuse with a bit of wire produced only a little puff of black smoke.

Also for the fact that our attempt to repair it with a bicycle pump, two balloons, and a spring didn't work.

I blame 2legs for me giggling at the bizarre life that Mala is leading in Ireland.

I blame 2legs for the fact that half my clothes seem to be living in a heap on the sofa in the bedroom, rather than neatly pressed and hung up in my wardrobe. I blame him that no-one has accepted the position of butler...

ooo if I was your butler could i have the job of folding up all the freshly laundered towels?
I blame 2legs for my long sleep last night potentially indicating I'm still not 'well' and for the fact it means I've missed lunch

I have dozens of towels you could fold 2legs. Anytime. I blame you for not sending off your passport application...

I sent my passport application off last year.... I have a new shiney passport... I blame 2legs for my having a passport which is vallid and never as yet used or, now I think about it, probalby not signed either

*stamps foot*

You owe me a visit before you fold Lanza's towels. It's been 8.5 years that you've been going to come! And you said you'd visit while PaperBaby (now PaperKid) was still little, and she'll be 7 this July! How're we going to experiment to see if she'll pick up your accent when she's been talking so long? *pout*

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I blame the above snit-fit on 2legs

I blame 2legs for depriving Amy P of the chance to make her kid talk funny.

I blame 2legs for causing me to map out the Northern California 2legs Fantasy Pub Crawl in my head. Do you realize how many ale-saturated brain cells this exercise is using?

If they were truly ale-saturated you'd already be halfway through it

Do you think I would subject 2legs to any old brewpub? No, I blame 2legs that I have researched these brewpubs thoroughly myself. Alas all this fine research has gone to waist, I mean, waste.

I blame 2legs for the calories in .

In a similar vein, I blame 2legs for the fact that my bag of five doughnuts turned out to have six doughnuts in it...

Thanks, 2legs!

"Little does she know that as she eats, she draws ever closer to the poisoned doughnut!"

"There is no poisoned doughnut, Sir. Our lawyers wouldn't allow it."

Save one for me, Mal. I've just brewed coffee and realised my pastries are all done, and if I make more the coffee will be cold. This travesty of justice has 2legs' stamp all over it!

I'll have to freeze some. Can't possibly eat them all in a day. Or worse yet, I might...

So hurry up and get here, KB

Don't say things like that so rashly, Mal - I'll see you tomorrow morning.

If you can find a bus that exists...

I blame 2legs for my not having much food in the house again ... and consequent facing of several days of eating rice in various forms... chicken and mushroom risotto tonight for example

Irish buses *do* exist. I swear they do. But they can be unpredictable because the engineers who repair them are quantum mechanics.

I blame 2legs for "The Wire". Probably I should also blame him for not stopping DJ from giving me the two first seasons as birthday pressie.

As a result of that I'm awake at 3.30 in the morning due to watching all of season two in a row. Most likely I'm going to order the remaining seasons, for which I'm blaming 2legs in advance.

I blame 2legs for data transfers that don't work.

I blame 2legs for young men who get their dongles out in public and brag about them. There were three of these on the bus earlier, and they were loud - very loud - and quite amazingly boring.