h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My in tray is completely full! Argghh! 2Legs, why didn't you let me do my work?

its ocld today; clearly 2legs fault; when he was moaning about the weather Michael Fish obviously heard and turned the UK thermostat down

Me having a new girlfriend who is too beautiful

Me feeling insecure about my paunch and having to diet so I feel more confident and ready to unleash the "Funky Badger Love" tm on her.

Being on a diet and having to cycle past the 2 butty vans on the way to work in the morning.

I blame 2legs for making hootoo too popular with newbies

I blame 2legs for the screaming child outside and the chearly 'Chav' parents who are unable to exert any parential control or anything with the child as they are just ignoring it I blame 2legs for my having to go outside and by teh look of it walk past these chavs which may induce me to puch them and rip off their stupid cheap c**p bling bling c***p jewlery that they are wearing and set fire to their shell suits or whatever fo designer c**p they have on

I blame 2legs for my place not getting hoovered again last night.

I blame 2legs for me not getting my biker boots back either since one of them still needed more stretching.. it actually felt worse and that had to be 2legs fault.

I blame 2legs for my buddy having conjunctivitis which might have led to viral meningitis and me having to pick up his truck from his place of work and therefore not hoovering the apartment.

You sent the sandman's evil twin Sven to his house last week didn't you?

I blame 2l3gs for the purebreed dust rhinos roaming around my apartment... When is Crufts... I think I could win.

I blame 2legs for chavs in general.

My eyelids are heavy, I think 2legs has arranged for this to happen.

I blame 2legs for it being Polling Day

I blame 2legs for ing up all my plans that all fitted nicely and are now just boloxed!

I blame 2legs for the 'experiance' I just had involving having three web pages open at once, each of which was runnign a 'alternative' bersion of the 'badgerbadgerbadger' animation at the same time. I don't think I'll ever fully recover

I blame 2legs for all the boxes I just had to carry into the building.

I blame 2legs for the fact that I then had to take them all out again and take them somewhere else, because they had been delivered to the wrong place.

The fact that I keep giggling about cartoon mushrooms is also surely the insidious work of 2legs.

I blame 2legs for my brain being full of thoughts about fish badgers mushrooms snakes gerbils pigmy guinney pigs and lamposts.

2legs is Not Me?

I blame 2legs for not making a trip to the store to pick up a CO/gas monitor since,... when was it?... DECEMBER maybe?

Don't need one boiler is 'better' since I had it servicesd I blame 2legs for rasberries.

I blame 2legs for sending me abso-fraggin-looter-lee in-sane.



Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I blame 2legs for tree cheese, cornflower raindeer, and catkins growing on the heads of foxes.

I blame 2legs for TV evangalasts.

I blame 2legs for the very scary sounds that came out of my 'puter when I triple badgered it earlier.

Tree cheese is a good thing. There's no-one to blame there. He dud a gud ting mudder