h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I may have found a new career for Grandad, teaching one-handed bra removal He's getting a lot of practice at the moment with my hand being in a cast He's not so quick at doing them up though

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You go, Grand-dad!

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What's the student/teacher ratio?

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Oh poor soul! Do you think he'll get over it? Interesting links in the previous thread about breast cancer and bras. Catchya later. Ani.

Just tell him to beware of "sustaining a forced ulnar abduction rotatory injury of the proximal interphalangeal joint".

I can't understand why this phrase causes me to

Simple - buy the lady some of those bras with a little zip up the front - they're far less risky and easier to "get to the point(s)"

But beware of putting those in the washing machine - the zip tags tend to come off & block the filter or the pump.

My dressing gown can be lethal, if the pocket snags on the bannister at home. Otherwise shoelaces that are so long they need triple knotting or they catch under the sole, and skirts that are tight round the calves when you're trying to hurry.

Shoes with rubber soles which have come adrift and flop. Not me, someone I know.

The following example is psychologically dangerous. My friend's little boy had a 'dress-up' day at school. 'Dress up' means two things in Canukland. It can mean wearing a suit and tie. Or it can mean wearing a costume and mask. My friend insisted it meant wearing a costume and mask. The boy insisted it meant wearing a suit and tie. To make a long story short, the boy showed up at school dressed as a hadrosaur. All his class mates were dressed in suits and ties or in party dresses. Needless to say, the boy was furious.

When I was a child my Dad bought a mermaid costume for me to go with him and my Mum to a party. This costume was from hek. The feet had to be sewn into two halves of a tail and the legs had to be sewn into a narrow green tube. I could not move during the whole party! Ani.

Oh, sorry, Ani, it's not really funny, but galoshes stcuk in the mud... Oh dear, that's a mental picture as hilarious as stocking caps with two tails!

No, Adelaide. It is deeply funny. Being ashamed of the poor judgment of one's parents only makes it funnier. My poor Dad. Once he came to visit me in the hospital when I was young. He wound up in someone else's room, my Mum rolling he eyes while he chatted away for hours with an unconscious stranger. Gotta luv im; he's my Dad. Ani.

Oh, Ani, that poor little boy! (I'm sorry, it's also funny).

I know. And if it had been an adult, the adult would have gone straight home to change. But a child didn't have that prerogative. The child had to sit at his desk the whole morning and then sit in the lunch room and then sit at his desk the whole afternoon and then sit on the school steps dressed as a hadrosaur, waiting for his Mum to pick him up on the car.

I mean can you imagine the science teacher answering the child's hand after having posed the question 'What does extinction mean?' Yes Johnny? Chortle. Excuse me, I think I dropped my chalk behind my desk here. Roars of unrestrained mirth. Can you imagine the lunch monitor having to dish out Campbell's Tomato soup to little Johnny? Hey it wasnt just hard on Johnny; it was hard on all of us. Ani.

Oh dear, the poor kid! My (younger) son would never forgive me, if it had been him...he's got a very black/white viw of the world... but it puts a whole new meaning on Life threatening clothing! Was it a good costume?

I don't know. I don't think any of us could see through the tears of laughter. And guilt. Are we off topic again?

OK here's another one. Big wool socks with holes in the toe. If you are hiking with big boots on, the wool rides up the foot pulling the hole with it. The edge of the hole cuts into the space between the toes. There, we're back on topic. Ani.

I can't think of any life-threatening clothing off hand (except my long trainer laces getting caught in the rear foot rests of my bike making meaning I couldn't change gear), but I can think of life-saving clothing. I used to own a cloth ex-RAF great coat (they were all the rage once)the pockets were so big they took three full height beer cans each - this facility was often used !!

It used to be my (flared) trousers that caught in the chain of my bike if I didn't wear cycle-clips.

Canadian military boots. My friend did an academic paper on this and found that the boots did not provide adequate protection against knee injury due to impact stress and twist at the ankles. Ani.

Does anyone remember those blue or red Kagools(sp?) you ALWAYS wore on school trips.
I had one that packed into its own little bag!!
Whenever they got wet, it was like an instant suction to your body & made you look like you were wearing coloured clingfilm

Is that what it is called, a Kagool? I love mine. I just love it when it rains and I get to pull it out of its little baggie. Then I get to look like a hoser (see Canadian English guide entry on my space); a dry hoser.

Umbrellas are not necessarily clothing, but they can poke people's eyes out. Especially the big golf ones. Ani.

I had a colleague who nearly underwent 'Spontaneous Human Combustion'(A2986095) whilst wearing a shell suit. He was at a Bar-B-Q at the time and , he says, was standing some distance away from where the Bar B-Q was when he suddenly caught fire. He was lucky not to have been seriously injured. The only explanation we could think of at the time was that a spark had shot out and impacted on him having travelled some distance. Shell suits were highly combustible.

Was he from Liverpool by any chance???