h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When i was a lad (cue faint trumpet music)
in the days of flat caps whippets when a pound would get you a bag of chips and bus fare home.

we had cool but deadly clothes.

such as Parka's with furry hoods! not so dangerous i hear you say! but when you did the zip right up you had zero peripheral vison. thousands must have ended up in hospital over this.

Lets not forget space dust, the sweet that crackles on the tongue. to be lethat take a full mouthfull then add a big gulp of coke! Chemistry for beginners

and then there were gloves with string that ran up the arms to join them together (so you couldn't loose them), but one sharp pull and bang you dislocate a shoulder or elbow.

can anyone else think of lethal but legal stuff you could play with as a kid

>>such as Parka's with furry hoods! not so dangerous i hear you say! but when you did the zip right up you had zero peripheral vison. thousands must have ended up in hospital over this<<


Oh My God - They Killed Kenny!

Think i went to school with him, Irish Lad, with a limp, wore glasses with one frosted lens and had a faint smell of wee

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We called those 'idiot mitts' when we were kids.


Why does almost everyone on hootoo write 'loose' when they actually mean 'lose'


az

Balaclavas knitted by aunts with a rudimentary knowledge of the anatomy of a normal human head - out of fluffy, angora wool

Not so much life as modesty threatening.
Must have been a man that made front zip dresses fashionable in the late 60s/early 70s.

Not to mention button-up or zip-up the back dresses. No, not life threatening, but they make it almost impossible to get dressed without help.

az

az, you want to try getting in and out of your underwear, especially bras, with one hand in plaster

No I don't!

I often have enough trouble with my bras with two hands!

Do you have one arm in a plaster now, Granny? Oh dear.

Also, a few months ago my back went into seriously painful spasm whilst I was stepping into my knickers one morning. I ended up barely able to walk for a week after that! Talk about dangerous clothing!


az

Coats with hoods are definitely dangerous. I was hit by car when I was a boy, and the hood of my duffle coat was up. I couldnt see the car coming from the side. I always told my children to lower their hoods when crossing the road. I worked with someone who hit a boy with his car. The boy had his hood up as well.

Here's my top eleven list for life threatening clothing:

1) Blue jeans pulled on wet and then blowdried to make them skin tight.

2) Cowboy boots in the snow.

3) Canadian Army camos in mountain terrain.

4) Canadian Army camos anywhere.

5) Anything worn east of Jarvis and west of Sherbourne in T.O.

6) Summer pockets to be worn when it is too hot to wear anything but you still need somewhere to put your keys. (two ordinary pockets sewn at either end of cord)

9) Anything not blue in T.O. during playoff season.

10) Australian outback coats on Cherry Beach in November. (safer to buy a boat)

11) Ed the Sock.

Peripheral, unsolicited comment: Parka hoods are truly bizarre to get around in. Your range of vision is 2 square inches which makes it terribly dangerous to cross intersections. The old hoser trick of wrapping a ten foot purple and orange scarf around your toque, face, and neck gives you better peripheral vision than a parka hood (if you don't mind looking like a hoser).

Listen, I gotta call this like I see it. Some non-Canadians might get the wrong impression that we cover our lovely selves in heavy and bulbous clothing all winter. This is so not true. I don't know of one self-respecting Canadian who wears more than a light leather jacket (unbuttoned) with no gloves no scarf no toque and no boots all winter. (Toques for ceremonial occasions only) Canadians are all about cool, not cold.

PS: I deserve a prize for saying Ed the Sock.

ani,

From Trawnna, eh? Me too! Well, it's been awhile, but . . .

The thing about parka hoods (especially fur-trimmed ones) is that they weren't actually designed to be worn in places that had traffic.

And I actually remember ten-foot toques (usually orange and purple striped, with a gross pom-pom on the end) that served as both toque and scarf.

In fact, I grew up in Winterpeg where often you could not be outside for more than ten minutes in wintertime before your skin froze, so fashion sense often had to take a back seat to, well, not freezing your face or ears off.

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I used to live on Isabella St between Yonge and Jarvis - I think I know what you mean.

az

ps

Who is Ed the Sock?



az

Az: <>

I remember when those came out. They were supposed to be draped nonchalantly over one's shoulders. However, they inevitably dragged along behind us, over and through metre-deep slush puddles, heaping shame upon our names.



Well, yes. I used to winter in Edson Alberta. Don't tell anyone, but La-la Pierre and I used to wear at least twenty-seven layers of woolies, arctic boots, and Mounty hats (the kind with the fur ear-flaps). La-la Pierre is gone the way of all flesh (Point Claire, Quebec) now but I think I have at least one layer left (probably the poncho he made out of two The Hudson's Bay blankets). My understanding is that this whole matter of winter clothing is something which must never be discussed outside of a very closed circle. A nod's as good as a wink, eh?

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Sheesh. I girl is taking her life into her hands just going to work.

<> The h2gw Guide has our good city pronounced this way. But it errs. It errs, I say! Give a listen to 'Sad Nights' on Blue Rodeo's 'The Days In Between' album.

First verse: '...typical summer, that time of year, when you go back to Turranna and I stay here.'

It is definitely 'Turranna.' Ani.

Az: Who is Ed the Sock, you say? Promise you will never divulge what I am about to tell you to anyone!

Ed the Sock is half man half sock-puppet with a libido never before witnessed in human (or sock) history. Not even in Turranna. He has a mouth fouler than Conan OBrien's Insult Dog. There are always a coterie of unclothed damsels about our good sock, ready at a moment's notice to give him...well...some toe.

I blush. Ani.

Blue Rodeo! Gosh, that's a name I haven't heard in about fifteen years.

And as for Ed the Sock, don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

Trawnna, Turranna - you know, I have always called it To-ron-to. Which frequently caused people there to ask me where I came from.


az

Az. We feel so blighted here (it's part of our civic psyche -- no respect, no respect) that finding a cool pronounciation is the only joy in town.

Pockets that are the right size and level to hook you on doorknobs.
They can jerk you back or around effectively if in a hurry.

Clothing with cords or drawstrings that can get you caught in things like drawers and doors and either drag you or the drawers or whatever around.

tube tops and strapless items that roll or snap or spring off

Hats with things on top that can get caught in places like hair does.

Platform shoes that you can fall off.
Heels that twist your ankles.

Fringed(sp?) clothing can get your caught in doors and machines and things.

Those teeshirts with TV screens on them they have shown in NY!
They hire people to wear them but I do not think they are for sale yet.

The more microchips they put into clothing the more dangerous it could become to your wallet. I keep wondering what will happen when there are millions of them. Will they become a hazard or interfere with some kind of future electronic signals in landfills? They are said to be for product info and later the ability to advertise similar products directly to you when you are passing a store with a sale.

In several ways wearing clothing as free billboard advertising can be dangerous as in some gang or sports team areas.

Message teeshirts when in some opposite circles of thought cab be dangerous.

Scarves around the neck get caught in things and choke or stop you.
Scarves can fly up or down and cover your eyes at the wrong moment.

Zippers that catch skin and various pieces and parts of bodies or other items in them.

Bras that catch a lot of things that you drop down the front of you

Some of those really low waists on pants must create dangerous moments!


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Dangerous Toys in the past?
Jarts , darts, bb guns, bow and arrows, katapaults,fireworks,chemistry sets,woodburning sets,laser pointers(eyes),guns that look too real, candy cigars and cigarettes

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D-oh! So many times have I been jerked around by a doorknob!

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Spring off! Good grief, abbi. I hope only at opportune moments and not when you are waving to the Minister's wife from the Church sidewalk!

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This sounds like the kind of advertising Phillip K Dick wrote about and which was shown in 'Minority Report.' Life imitating art?

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I gather the deal with low waists is to wear some kind of fetching undy. One wouldn't want things hanging out. At least not too far. My neighbour has a bee in her bonnet about hip pants and belly-tanktops. Sometimes I wear them just to get her all hopping mad. I can't help myself. Ani.

You probably look very cute in them

I nearly hit a vehicle checking a guy out before (decades back)so I can only guess that others have come close to doing the same while viewing the scenery in dangerous clothing