h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, Bunsen, setting fire to your farts is NOT going to add some colour and interest to my chemistry lesson!

Come a bit closer Doppler I can only just hear you

Smoking behind the bicycle shed is not allowed, Dolby. But if you must smoke, at least buy the ones with filters.

Come off the roundabout now Coriolis, youll be dizzy.

F

Nicholas! The first part of your assignment was spot on, but where's the rest of it?

(Nicholas Steno, father of modern geology- he was right about everything in his first paper, De solido intra solidum naturaliter contento dissertationis prodromus (Forerunner to a dissertation on a solid naturally contained within a solid), but he gave up his work and became a priest before the dissertation itself was created.)

I'm sorry to bother you Headmaster, but I have reason to believe that Smith-Kline and Beecham have been dealing in drugs.

B

Lord Sandwich! What on Earth is that in your lunchbox?!

B

Hanibal, stop lumbering about like an elephant!


Geggs

Count Stroganoff, you're just skin and bone! There's no beef on you at all!


Geggs

You must learn to stay calm in a crisis, Lightoller.

F

Get a grip on yourself, Sacher-Masoch!

I'm sure it would be comfortable if we were all built like giraffes Rennie Mackintosh

That reminds me - though it is completely off-topic, but that's nothing new - about a one-line bit of promo blurb on a book.

It was one of those lines from an already established author, who is asked to give a short comment to help sell the first book of a new author, and whose comment is therefore slapped somewhere on the cover of said book.

In this case the quote was "He writes with a Donaldsonian-Fiestian grip".

Much discussion was had in the SF&F community about the exact nature of this fabled grip, and whether it was in any way related to the Pratchettian carry-all or of Baxterian rucksack.

I digress, obviously.


Geggs

I would have thought that a Donaldsonian grip would be minus several fingers.

Once you start doodling you really are in your own little world aren't you Disney

Come on now, quick as a flash Mazhoff.

F

Wake up Napier! Sleeping like a log again, I see...

B

You've been a long time doing that mosaic, Pythagoras. There's a few squares to go on the hippopotamus and the same number on those two sides...

F

Newton, you don't seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation.

Euclid, it's perfectly plain.

Turing, stop talking to your imaginary friend.

Einstein, you are going to make me old before my time.

Edward Teller, for the last time! I don't care if it is for a science project, you may not bring firecrackers to school! That goes for you too, Mr. Oppenheimer!