h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What exactly has Henry Ford got to do with the battle of Hastings, Percy? I used to think it was a private thing between the English and French. Now, it seems it was a purely domestic affair between Normans and Normans. I don't know how Harold died. The man's dead! Why worry?

Through the eye with an arrow wasn't it?

What has Henry Ford got to do with the battle of Hastings? I am flabberg(h)asted that you should ask. Have revisionists not recently discovered the tyre tracks of a Model T preserved in the sub-strata at Battle? Are not the warhorses of the Norman Knights in the Bayeaux tapestry mere fanciful representations of the little black motorcars which charged up the slope and broke the Saxon... sorry, the shield wall of the Normans who at that time ruled England? As for the means of Harold's demise, I heard Chris Patten say on the radio this morning that there is no statute of limitations on war crimes. This must mean that the international war crimes commission will be dealing with Guillaume the Bastard and his cronies before they get around to Slobodan Millosevic.
I believe that Henry Ford said "the teaching of history is bunk".

That's one of the funniest things I've read on this site in a while!!!

I see, so even then the Europeans couldn't sort out their own wars without the aid of the USA!

(I think Mr Ford may have been a trifle misguided. Good car-maker, Good epigram-coiner, not so hot on underlying philosophy)

I think some of you guys have spent a little too much time watching Star Trek.

Excuse my ignorance, but the Normans weren't French - or were they?

Yes, the Normans were French. From a part of France called Normandy, believe it or not. Although they did decend from an invasion of Vikings several hundreds of years before.

It is debateable whether the Normans were French or not. As V&A says, the Norman nobility, Guillaume the Bastard included, were reputedly descended from a 'viking' called Rollo. What percentage of the population of Normandy, at that time, had viking blood is less certain. What we can be reasonably sure of is that most of the freebooters in the 1066 expedition were not Norman. They were from various feudal polities which fitted geographically into what are now France, Holland, Belgium and Germany.
Ironically the throne of France (yes I know, currently vacant) was eventually claimed by Guillaume and his offspring and united with England in the Angevin Empire - so in a sense the French are Normans rather than the Normans being French.

I think that the Americans will make up for being late in the last two world wars by starting the next one.

Thanks, that's nice of you. 'Preciate it! Make the most of it while you have the chance to be involved!!

The problem is, the Americans probubly will start the next war. All the other countries will get fed up of them steeping into eveyone elses business like they rule the world and so everyone will turn against them!!!

A specialist on world markets in Rice told our club last night
(at the close of his lecture) that according to ancient Chinese
myth rice was discovered by being brought into a starving
village on a dog's ass. (bum, sorry)

The lectureer claimed he had told this story to scores of
rice traders in his time but he appeared unsure it was
true.

Tea supposedly fell from a tree into someone's cup.

(Rice is a big deal in China. I think this shows they
must have high respect for the dog. Since the most
precious commodity was brought in on it's ass.

Sheds light on the Dog's knackers question?)

Thank you for that Percy, know we all know. Didnt King Rollo write some little books that used to make me laugh, back in the days I thought the world was funny. Or did he invent a strange chocolate sweet, and was he the last Rollo? And who got him in the end?

Might we return to the subject now?

Some words/phrases you only hear in Britain:

Pork Scratchings
Porter (the drink)
flippin eck
bar (without) (As in Ilkley Moor, or all bar none (or one as recently coined)

geezus Ch***

sorry for the posting in the wrong topic.



AGGGGGGG.


.

The Chinese don't have 'high respect for dogs' they eat them!

Dear Mr/Ms anonymous Researcher,

Feel free, you are not intruding, its just that your sentiment fell on stony ground. Keep trying!

Perhaps, Tigerlily, the respect comes in the cooking. Always respect your ingredients. I had heard that dog meat (as in the meat of dogs) was particularly good for helping bones knit after a fracture.

Hi Pheroneous, you're probably right. Even as we speak there's legions of Chinese people sitting down to dog with rice stuffed up its bottom - savages!

And what's this stupid business with

"it's absolutely capital" meaning something's really good. That implies capital cities are good places. Well they aren't. Why not? Because in England at least, that's where Tony Blair and friends are.

Ye gods and little fishes! (is that peculiarly British, or just peculiar?)Is there no escape from matters canine? My heart quails at the prospect of reading 'bollocks', 'knackers', 'goolies' or just plain 'testicles' any more, and now we have 'bum' and 'ass'as well. One with more faith in Freud than I might worry about the H2G2 populace. "If you cannot stand the heat..." I hear you clamour. Could we not just make the kitchen a little more wholesome?
Could we do the dog bit without the...... other words?
How about some explanations of:
dog-end (no tittering please)
dogsbody
dog-tired
dog watch
I agree with pheroneous that 'pork scratching' is probably a genuine Brit phrase although I do not doubt that many a nation has its own name for this delicacy.

and 'dog eat dog'?

This is a sort of dog eat dog world (or thread)!

Please don't upset yourself so, Percy, its a dog day afternoon.

Dog-gone-it!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Mostly