h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I grew up for in Houston, Texas for three of my formative childhood years, and when we came back (me at age of nine), I failed a question in a basic maths test because I didn't know how many days in fortnight...Never heard the word, see...That means it at least wasn't in the Texan vernacular...

A

ps. been away for a few weeks, nice to see the debates are still going... I've had to stay away otherwise the idea of work just falls out of my head..!

Orinoco Someone did have a bash at reconstructing that sketch. Perhaps it was you - I'll just dash off and look at post you the URL........ ...back again, here it is: http://www.h2g2.com/F50886?thread=71322 and no, it wasn't you it was Sellers and it's a bit of a monologue to date-

Did you have problems because you put the decimal points and the dots for multiplication in the wrong places? That happened to a friend of mine, an American, who really was good at maths and had got everything wrong and the British teacher (typical!) marked it all wrong because her decimal points and mulitplication signs were the other way round to what was taught in Britain.

Why do Americans call Mathematics 'Math' rather than 'Maths'?

Probably because they can only cope with one at a time.

*is dragged off and gagged by the Americans in the forum, yelling "OK OK it was supposed to be a joke"*

Little Ron came in and said:

L O. F U N E X?

Big Ron (not Atkinson): S. V F X.

LR: F U N E M?

BR: S. V F M.

LR: OK. I F M N X.

etc, etc.

Welcome back, Afrael,
If you are still continuing your research into the number of days in a fortnight, it may help you to know that there are approximately twice as many as there are days in a hebdomad.
I like to help when I can.

Everyone else: Thanks for the 2R input. Aren't we lucky:
a) to have seen the shows, and
b) to have this forum to enjoy them again.

Apparently, the French fortnight is a day longer than the British fortnight. Aren't they clever!

Quinze jours. Said as one word. They only mean fourteen though. They aren't so exact with numbers apparently.

A fortnight has 15 days in France although it only means 14 days, because you include the days at each end. For example, today is Friday 15 Sept, a fortnight from now is Friday 29 Sept, so that's 15 days all together, including the two Fridays at each end.

The same thing happens in Germany: to say "this day next week", you say "this day eight days".

My video rental shop does a sneaky "Three day rental" which means that you get it for two nights.

This all reminds me of the confusion when people say "See ya next Monday!", and next Monday you don't see them because they meant the following Monday, and what you thought was next Monday they regard as this Monday.

I hope that's perfectly clear!

According to some discussion I read a while ago, there are three schools of thought on the meaning of next, as in *next* Wednesday.
It was interpreted by various people as

a) The forthcoming Wednesday
b) The Wednesday after the forthcoming (or current) one
c) The Wednesday of next week

I'd go with the third interpretation, given that 'see you on Wednesday' would suffice as an alternative for a), and 'Wednesday week' or 'a week on Wednesday' means the same as b).

Regarding the 15-day fortnight, it seems nonsensical to me. Taking the inclusivity argument to its minimalist extreme would indicate that 'see you in a day' would be the same as 'see you right now', or 'see you in 2 days' would mean 'see you tomorrow'.

Computing trivia : The idea of a 15 day fortnight is what might be referred to as a 'fencepost error'. See the link below for the Jargon File (Hacker's Dictionary), which is well worth flicking through for the language alone, even for non-techy people with an interest in linguistic inventiveness. As far as I am concerned, the personality profile at the end is also disturbingly accurate.

http://www.elsewhere.org/jargon/jarg400.txt (1.5MB)

Given that today is Friday, a) and c) are the same.

I'm weird (cries of 'tell us something we don't know'), because if it's a Monday, then 'next Wednesday' would mean 'Wednesday of next week', but 'next weekend' would be 'the forthcoming weekend'.

Everyone clear on that?

So, ummm.... Nope, I'm completely lost.

Clear?

It's a good job I'm too polite to recall Zaphod's advice about analysts and danger money.

I think I'd normally only really use 'next weekend' during the weekend preceding the one I was referring to, *except* possibly if I'd recently established a solid context by referring to the upcoming weekend as *this* weekend, which would clarify the meaning of 'next' weekend.

Hey!
Wouldn't it be a great idea if somebody made up a sort of book thing and called New Year's Day "One" and the next day "two", having a page for each day, and so on until next NYD when we'd go back to "One" again. Then we could avoid the confusion by saying:
"Right, we'll do lunch on day 125."
D'you think I'm on to something here?

I always thought that knackered meant worn out and tired as in a worn out old horse being sent to the knackers yard to be recycled into glue and dog food.It has never meant castrated at all.I am knackered means simply that one is tired.

here's an interesting point: in american ghetto slang, your "doggs" (yes, with 2 'g's') are your friends, your pals, your buddies. ...as a matter of fact, so are "your g's."

a man who is "a dog," however, is a womanizer, someone who can be counted upon to not be counted upon.

if you "get dogged," you get humiliated, exposed, and insulted.

...your "dogs," in a completely different context altogether, can be your feet, as in (after a long walk or such), "man, are my dogs barking!"

...so, why this fascination with dogs in modern english? beats me. have any other animals gained such vocabular popularity?

My dog's got no nose. How does he smell? Awful!
Fly on wall looks down at another fly on the wall and says "Your man's undone"

I think cats and mice and horses do quite well in the idiom stakes as well. Let's try them:

To be catty
The cat who got the cream (or the canary)
Cat's whiskers (I know it's already been mentioned, I'm summarising here)
Cat-o-nine-tails
A cat's chance in Hell
Has the cat got your tongue?
Look what the cat brought in
Let the cat out of the bag


Mice maybe not so good after all.

To put the horse before the cart
To get on one's high horse
To change horses in midstream