h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I go to school in Australia, and we keep on being shown American high schools on TV which seem weird (as well as cheesy, but that's just because it's TV). People at my school who've been on exchanges say it really is weird, so I've decided to ask for confirmation. Here are my many questions:

i) Do you really have metal detectors?

ii) Do you need ID to get into school?

iii) Do you really throw people in large garbage bins?

iv) Do you all have huge lockers that are a major social attraction?

v) Do you eat lunch in a 'cafeteria'?

vi) Do they actually provide food and you have to eat it at a table with knives and forks?

vii) Are you allowed to bring in pencil sharpeners and compasses in to school, or are they considered dangerous weapons?

viii) What about pocket knives?

ix) Do they try and teach you that the President is good?

x) Are buildings really huge with several stories and you don't need to go outside to get from class to class?

xi) Are there cheerleaders?

xii) Do the aforementioned cheerleaders dress like sluts and act in a horrible way?

xiii) Do you have huge stands called 'bleachers'?

xiv) Do you all play baseball the whole entire time?

Thank you!

i) Do you really have metal detectors?
No.

ii) Do you need ID to get into school?
No.

iii) Do you really throw people in large garbage bins?
No.

iv) Do you all have huge lockers that are a major social attraction?
No.

v) Do you eat lunch in a 'cafeteria'?
Yes.

vi) Do they actually provide food and you have to eat it at a table with knives and forks?
Yes, but you can bring your own.

vii) Are you allowed to bring in pencil sharpeners and compasses in to school, or are they considered dangerous weapons?
Yes, you are allowed.

viii) What about pocket knives?
No. (I found this out the hard way...)

ix) Do they try and teach you that the President is good?
No. Definitely not.

x) Are buildings really huge with several stories and you don't need to go outside to get from class to class?
No, only 2 stories, but it's all in one building.

xi) Are there cheerleaders?
Yes.

xii) Do the aforementioned cheerleaders dress like sluts and act in a horrible way?
Usually.

xiii) Do you have huge stands called 'bleachers'?
Yes.

xiv) Do you all play baseball the whole entire time?
No.

i) Do you really have metal detectors?
No
ii) Do you need ID to get into school?
No
iii) Do you really throw people in large garbage bins?
No
iv) Do you all have huge lockers that are a major social attraction?
No
v) Do you eat lunch in a 'cafeteria'?
Yes, but we could also eat elsewhere
vi) Do they actually provide food and you have to eat it at a table with knives and forks?
See above
vii) Are you allowed to bring in pencil sharpeners and compasses in to school, or are they considered dangerous weapons?
Yes
viii) What about pocket knives?
Not sure
ix) Do they try and teach you that the President is good?
Try being the operative word. But I wasn't in high school for long with Bush as President
x) Are buildings really huge with several stories and you don't need to go outside to get from class to class?
Mine was smallish and one story, but no going outside
xi) Are there cheerleaders?
Yes
xii) Do the aforementioned cheerleaders dress like sluts and act in a horrible way?
Frequently but not always
xiii) Do you have huge stands called 'bleachers'?
Yes
xiv) Do you all play baseball the whole entire time?
They make you play in gym class in the spring, but that's it

Hmmmm, how interesting! Thank you! I'm glad you're allowed pencil sharpeners. Obviously there's a lot of variation between schools though, like there is everywhere.

xv) Do you sing the national anthem in the morning?

xvi) Do you recite a Liberty Pledge or something?

Oh, and if you can bring your own lunch/eat elsewhere, does that mean the cafeteria food is not free?

My answers are basically the same as the previous ones (and I've been to 3 different high schools in very different locations.)
Slight differences: In the last 2 schools I was at they DEFINATELY tried to make us think the president was good...(We even had these weird propaganda like meetings(I skipped school on those days)...Unfortunately, they were VERY successful...
They also 'MAKE' you say the pledge("I pledge of alligence to the flag of the united states america and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under god, with liberty and justice for all") Or at least they strongly encourage it, sometimes really harshly.(Meep...I wouldn't so I experienced this some difficulties.)Some schools also add other patriotic songs...
Cafeteria food is not free. You pay money for the putrid stuff, unless you fill out some forms and the gov/school?/someone? says you get 'free' or 'reduced' lunches.
Oh, and most places have ids, they're just not required. (Those I refused, as well.)
Oh, no metal detectors, but sometimes cops...
Anything else?

Oh, NO pocket knives, lighters, knitting needles, or anything like that!!! At all.

Oh, wait...one more:
My first school was a very large 3 story building which you weren't allowed to step foot outside of until the end of school.
Next was a very small collection of buildings in which you frequently had to go outdoors..
Last was a big 2 story building, you didn't exit it unless you wanted to go to the art department (The only classes held in a different building.

I disagree on some points, so...


i) Do you really have metal detectors?
Some schools sure as h*ll do!

ii) Do you need ID to get into school?
High-risk areas, yes. Schools for kids of VIPS, yes. Otherwise the thing just gets you rides on the city bus.

iii) Do you really throw people in large garbage bins?
Indeed, some do. Except we call them dumpsters.

iv) Do you all have huge lockers that are a major social attraction?
If by huge you mean about a foot across and 5-6 feet tall, then yes.

v) Do you eat lunch in a 'cafeteria'?
Yes. Or more commonly smoke off school grounds.

vi) Do they actually provide food and you have to eat it at a table with knives and forks?
That implies manners. They do indeed provide food - an important social service for many actually . Many bag it though.

vii) Are you allowed to bring in pencil sharpeners and compasses in to school, or are they considered dangerous weapons?
I've never had problems with those.

viii) What about pocket knives?
Well, so long as they're not seen. Otherwise, no way.

ix) Do they try and teach you that the President is good?
They seem to be content if we vaguely know that an elected person called the president is in charge of our country and that we get a new one every few years.

x) Are buildings really huge with several stories and you don't need to go outside to get from class to class?
Usually. Though I've had classes in such desperation classrooms as trailers and schools buses (parked, of course). Three levels is about average.

xi) Are there cheerleaders?
Ooooooh yeah . They're the only thing that make pep rallies bearable.

xii) Do the aforementioned cheerleaders dress like sluts and act in a horrible way?
When they're not busy being naked in pick-up trucks with football players.

xiii) Do you have huge stands called 'bleachers'?
Yes. They are useful mostly for smoking or making-out under.

xiv) Do you all play baseball the whole entire time?
Not the whole time. There is also basketball and football.

what is a pep rally

Not sure

According to the dictionary it is:

pep rally noun N. Amer. informal a meeting aimed at inspiring enthusiasm, especially one held before a sporting event.

I guess it's like before a game where they all cheer and hug and say motivational phrases. How do the cheerleaders help that?

What about the ubiquitous Dork/Dorkess that gets to be homecoming king or queen & super cool by the end of the school year ?

xvii) Do you have Very Important 'Proms'?

I think I kept up with this, but just one thing:

what is a bleacher?

pep rally - usually held during the day in the gym, and attendance made obligatory , these events usually involve piling the student body into the bleachers (see below) and making us watch grunty speeches about victory, 'funny' skits, antics, brief talks by coaches or administrators wishing to encourage said group of students to not drink and drive after the upcoming 'big game,' for which the rally is intended to garner much enthusiasm and promises of attendance.

bleachers - stadium like seating, indoor or out, uncomfortable and dirty regardless.

prom queens and kings are only ever the most popular kids, unless of course there's a school object of pity like, say, someone who lost a parent in a car crash. to make up for said tragedy, they get to wear a plastic crown and be made a monarch of an imagined empire and be forced to dance in a spotlight in front of everyone.

Are there really students who take the prom King or Queen thing seriously, or is it all just a bit of fun ?

Popularity is something taken very seriously, though there are of course kids who are reasonable enough to be cynical on the matter. These kids are invariably unpopular. As in any society in which rewards are given to those with dubious merits, to be prom queen is to be, in effect, highly regarded by one's peers, and thus the title is hotly sought after.

So, is this popularity based on achievments in some way and/or, is it as superficial as money & good looks ?

I'm guessing the last one...

The latter. We're Americans, what would you expect - kudos for those who have read the most Nobel Prize Literature and attended class everyday without fail?