h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ex-girlfriends younger sister, unfortunately thats about as brilliant as she gets. The rest is a total mess.

Just been reminded of one of my younger daughter's gems -

When she was about 4, we were out in the car, and had been going up some hills, which resulted in our ears getting that clogged up feeling.

Suddenly she cried out, thrilled and amazed -

"I just yawned - and it turned the radio up!!"

Did I tell y'all about... yeah, probably did, but worth repeating.

A mother had trouble with her 5-year-old daughter who was much too keen on commenting on the looks of people. Out loud, of course.

However, she managed to convince her daughter that if she saw someone who looked odd, they'd discuss it at home.

But then, one day, there was a woman with a very big and crooked nose sitting opposite of the daughter on the tube. The little girl bounced up and down on her seat, and finally felt she had to announce, in a loud voice:

'Mummy, mummy, we've GOT to talk about that nose once we're home!'

Curtain

(now 7) has now mastered 'Monopoly'

The only thing is, that we go to Trafangular Square

My friends grandson is 3 and is just learning to stand up at the toilet. Sometimes, he stands and sometimes he sits.
Today she asked him which way he wanted to to it and he said....

Upside down

The mind boggles!

Out shopping recently, we passed a large cardboard cutout advert for the latest Pixar film, "UP".
Wife: "I wouldn't mind getting that,"
Daughter: "I wouldn't buy it on DVD though,"
Wife: "Why not?"
Daughter: "I saw an advert for it on telly. They said 'buy a copy now' - copies are rubbish! I want a proper one!"

At our grandaughter's (7) school, they ask for contributions of Easter eggs to be circulated among those needy of the school who wont get one for whatever reason.
I bought 4 while doing the weekly food shop. We donated 2 and her mom donated 2.

We took them round and she asked... Did we just buy them or were they from Grandad's stock?.
Knowing that he is a hoarding chocoholic. I reckon she knows her grandad very well

While eating a lunchtime snack, my friends grandchildren were asked what they would like to drink.
'E' aged 9 asked for water.
'O' aged 5 and a typical boy..... asked for lemonade.

He was told that there wasnt any lemonade and could have cherryade instead.
Which he did.. Had a couple of sips and thought about the flavour.
He then replied that he couldnt drink it as it was pink and a girl's drink

Great excuse!

My daughter asked me the other day -
"If dinosaurs died out millions of years before humans were around - how do we know what they were called?"

An ex-gf's daughter said something to me once that I shall never, ever forget.

She was three going on four years old. We'd been out for a nice walk around the town and park, and were walking along the side of the river. It was a lovely day, and there were lots of people about, including her mum and brother, and my mum and stepdad. She'd got tired, so I'd scooped her up and was carrying her along in my arms.

She relaxed and looked around for a bit at the other people in the park and on the riverbank, going about their business, playing football, walking dogs, buying icecreams etc.

Then she looked up at me and asked me one of the most profound questions I've ever heard.

"Am I in everyone's life?"

Five words, but the implications of the question, and the thought process that led to it, boggled my mind completely. I'm not sure she realised all of that, of course, but then on the other hand she did ask the question.

At Christmas my 3-year-old neice-in-law (for want of a better term) wanted me to help with her jigsaw. After we'd put the bottom row together she got bored and wandered off so I went back to the armchair to read for a bit. When she came back about ten minutes later she looked at the jigsaw, looked at me, looked at the jigsaw again and said "Uncle Dreadful, why haven't you finished it!?"

Another good'un from when she was about 1-and-3-quarters was trying pickled onion flavoured Monster Munch... she decided she didn't want it because it "taste cold"... took us ages to work out what she meant until we realised it's because she had shivered when she tasted it!

"Am I in everyone's life?"
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I'm not sure when children develop a sense of self awareness - but I think you may have caught a moment when it happened .

The thing about it was, that in retrospect I could practically SEE her thought process, looking round at those other people in the park and making the connection that they were, in fact, whole other people like me and her who had lives and personal narratives and everything.

I'm not exaggerating when I say it's one of the most precious moments of my life.

It sounds like a perfect day (ice-cream in the park etc), where time was passing slowly and a developing mind is a beautiful thing

We can also be reminded of how we saw the world when children. Children ask the questions/say the things that are uncluttered from all the things that "clutter" up our own grown up minds. In The Emperors New Clothes it is the child that sees the reality.

"It sounds like a perfect day"

It was.

Sorry, I think I have something in my eye.

The rector of my church was doing her 'rounds' in the local school and said to one little boy... 'You do smell nice', thinking he had been bathed with some nice smelling bubble bath.

To which he replied... 'me Febreezed'

I was pushing my four year old niece on the swing a few weeks ago and she started going squint. She squealed "Stop me, Deb! I'm going curly!"

Deb

The song 'Whats that coming over the hill is it a monster?' is being used as a trailer for one of the cable channels right now.

My friends grandson saw it today and decided that it wasnt a monster, but a HAMster
He was most insistent.