h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am in the UK visiting at the moment, and driving a hired car. Whilst driving with my son yesterday, I thought I felt a drop of water fall on me. This car has a sun roof, something of which I am always suspicious.

"Why is it raining on me?" I asked.

"Maybe it's because you lied when you were 17", he replied.

Had me in fits. Mind you - he's 30 this year.

We have just been to see (10)


... 'Grandad.... You smell.'
Grandad... 'NO I DONT. What do I smell of?'
... 'Grandadness'

Niece (then 4): "I did grow in mummy's tummy 'cause if I growed in daddy's tummy I'd be a boy."

About 2 hours after being told that she'd not get to eat any more Easter candy until the next day, Notepad (4) informed me, "My hand *needs* chocolate!"

We were playing 'I Spy' with the boys on a long car journey a few days ago, and Mummy ask for something beginning with the letter f. Though she pronounced the letter in the phonics way, so it was fff, rather than eff, if you see what I mean.

"Blowing", suggested our 3 year old.

"No, blowing starts with b", replied Mummy.

"But blowing is ffffffffff!"

Well ahead of the game, that one.


Geggs

That is wonderful!! I also love the idea of smelling of grandadness!

As for phonetics, my youngest was playing I-Spy with us.

Something beginning with "Ch"...

Chair?

Chocolate?

....

It turns out it was "tree" - which, when you think about it, can easily be pronounced "chree"...

...tree what you mean...

One of my nephews went through a stage of putting 'F' in front of his words:

Tractor = Factor

Car = Far


We all ignored it until he began to say, what we hoped was, clock!

Kid #1, between 1 & 2 years of age, just beginning to talk:

"Iwan-tmy-orn-gejuice", slurring all the words together without appropriate accents. (What's called 'expressive jargon' in the psychological terminology.)

Kid #2, probably between 4 & 5 years of age, 'interpreting' for kid # 1:

"He says he wants his orange juice."

'Mum, how did the scoring on a dartboard come about?'

stumped me

I think that, before kids get to the 'proper language' stage, they have 'infant language' knowledge. That's why kid 2 could translate it.

I've also seen kids too young to talk communicating verbally - and no, it wasn't that youtube video, it was in a pharmacy awaiting my turn. They seemed to understand each other perfectly in what sounded like gurglish to me.

My stepdaughter-in-law (mother of )always talks 'baby gibberish' when talking to the younger ones.

My stepdaughter (mother of )talks 'normally', saying the words as they should be.

When was younger, he couldn't understand a word that stepdaughter-in-law was saying. We had to translate for him.

"They seemed to understand each other perfectly in what sounded like gurglish to me."

Since Eldest Niece was vocalising without really talking I've been of the opinion that babies know *exactly* what they are saying even if we don't. At the dinner table once she let forth a stream of 'gurglish' and nobody responded so she frowned and raised her voice, shouting *exactly* the same sounds...

Anyway, I remember Eldest Niece first trying to get her head around telling jokes... she was telling simple question and answer jokes along the "why did the ... cross the road?" lines, and, for whatever internal logic was being employed, the 'punch line' was "to see his/her mummy." She got most disgruntled when we didn't laugh straight away!

When I was going through that stage, my Mom repeatedly reminded me to use my "glottal stops, stop momentarily between words".

Most other people just said "slow down".

Mothers, eh?

Our (boy aged 3 1/2) has just sent his granddad a Fathers Day card.

It was a card that was meant to be sent from a granddaughter, but he insisted on sending it, as it had a teddy bear on the front and his granddad likes teddies.
This is news to granddad as he has never shown a passion for teddies before

was talking to granddad on the phone about a visit to see them that we intend to make in August. They live abroad.

He () has decided if mommy has to work, then we can look after him and take him to the local shops.
Mommy works in one of those shops.

We can go and visit her in her shop and laugh at her. Because she will be working and we will be playing.

Clever to have worked that out so soon!

"Dad when I leave school, I want to go to Uni and be a Zombologist"

A phone conversation between grandad and (almost 4)


Grandad.. Are you being a good boy?

.. Yes, but sometimes I'm naughty.

Grandad.. What happens if you are naughty.

.. I have to go on the naughty step.

Grandad.. How long do you have to stay there?

Twenty years.