h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As it's a one-day event, was wondering if supermarkets/card shops etc do as they do at other times of the year
(Crimble, Easter and so on) and flog stuff off cheap post-event? For the 'Be prepared' school of consumer - get your cuddly toy and naff card for next year half price on the 15th. Haven't been near aforementioned establishments since V-Day, so anyone care to enlighten me?

And my V-Day was spent with other singletons watching horror movies and drinking - best soppiness antidote there is!

I don't think all affairs can be called 'shameful'. I feel sorry for folk who really are trapped in a marriage/relationship, and have a secret lover who might actually be better for them.
As for those who are just mucking about, that's their business. They're not ashamed, I'm not ashamed for them, so where is the shame? (besides imagine trying to keep a secret-lover card from your other half?)

re. birth/death; I don't know, it's his Saints' Day. Maybe a Catholic could enlighten, I thought feast days were just chosen arbitrarily. If I were going for one or't'other, it'd be death, but most of the martyrs- if he was one- have death-dates lost in history and therefore unverifiable. St. Val seems to have been chosen on account of his actions rather than martyrdom. (contrast with St. Blaise, patron st. of woolcombers, who was torn to death with steel combs. Tasty.)

Went to the local super store today. V-day shaped boxes of on sale. Get set for next year.

Sorry - finding it hard to think of a situation where it wouldn't be shameful to have an affair behind partner's backs.

Well, like I said, if they and their partners are not ashamed, why is it shameful?
I am not going to be ashamed for them, it's none of my business. So where is the shame?

and also like I said, what if they are both in relationships that are hideous but for whatever reason cannot leave immediately? it happens.

You didn't actually say both in hideous relationships. I'd say that was a bit unlikely anyway. I would say card probably aimed at lonely bit on the side ('wishing you didn't have to spend with someone else cos I'm in the cold) More than likely other person is sending and receiving from regular partner at the same time. All a bit shameful to me. OK I'm being hypothetical but that's what springs to my mind in a secret affair. Unlikely something to be proud of otherwise why a secret and spending V day with someone else. Sorry - I am only sympathetic to people being kept in the dark.

Yeah, I did...

'I feel sorry for folk who really are trapped in a marriage/relationship, and have a secret lover who might actually be better for them.'

'Trapped', 'better for them'. Implying they are in an unhealthy, bad relationship which is doing them no good.

I feel sorry for the lonely bit on the side as well as the one being strung along. Regardless of the wisdom of getting involved with a married/attached person- and it is not always black&white- they are not deceiving anyone, as the other half might be.

They're not keeping it secret because they are ashamed of it, purely because they don't want others to find out. Again, for whatever reason. The legitimate partner might be insanely jealous or selfish or refuse to do any work on the relationship themselves, in that case I think normal human feelings outweigh any 'duty' to an unfulfilling relationship.

Do you feel ashamed *for* them? being that shameful= full of shame, and if no one's displaying any it's not applicable.

And in the case of being kept in the dark, that could just as easily apply to the person sending the card. "Yes, I'll leave my wife for you... yes I'll lavish gifts on you... yes I love you." Etc etc.

Sorry to harp on but No you didn't mention both being in another bad relationship first. You said 'and also like I said, what if they are both in relationships....'
My next point was 'You didn't actually say *both*'
but your reply was then
'Yeah, I did...' by quoting 'I feel sorry for folk who really are trapped in a marriage/relationship, and have a secret lover who might actually be better for them.' That wasn't saying *both*

Anyone who carries on with a relationship knowing the other partner is not single is in my eyes just as bad as the attached person. I know I couldn't do it. Can't honestly say they are innocent and not deceiving anyone. Can't wipe themselves of all guilt and blame. No sympathy whatsoever and yes - should be ashamed. Can't be justified by saying I'm not the one with ties. If you ended up with that person wouldn't you be upset if they deceived you with someone else who knew you existed ? Chances are they could be just as deceitful with you. Not for me thanks - too much respect for myself and fellow sisters.

I hope these Valentines day cards flopped. It's certainly not aimed at good honest heart on sleeve love.

Ahh.
I don't actually see what's more relevent about them both being in a relationship. If only one of them is attached- either the one sending the card (who might also be single) or receiving it- the situation still applies.
I could do it, if I could see the damage a destructive partner were doing to them. Especially if in our 'shameful' relationship they found some comfort. The unattached half is not deceiving anyone, since nobody knows! (least of all their partner's 'other half'). If they're deceiving themselves, that is their business (besides being usual human behaviour) so I'm not going to judge them on that.
If they are being shafted by some two-timing deceit merchant who assures them they're leaving their original partner for them, I can't see how they are guilty of anything except perhaps naivety.

But if *they are not ashamed*- regardless of whether you think they should be- how is the affair shameful? Only in your perception of it.

Please note I am looking at this more in the context of a relationship someone does not want to be a part of. Not just some selfish git wanting it all their own way. If they are unhappy with one partner, have an affair and find they love the other person, there is nothing compelling them to also cheat on them later.

'sisters'? by that I take it you mean all women, everywhere, ever. Men can be deceived and manipulated too. Please don't imply I have no respect for myself or other women (although I don't necessarily feel part of some united Sisterhood, just like I don't particularly feel part of a united human race).

Just couldn't do that to anyone - have an affair with someone elses partner. Simple as that - however I/they tried to justify how horrible the other person was. If they were that bad they would leave.There's so many stories how the one in a relationship never gives it up.
And yes - I know men can be deceived too. I am female so I look at how I would feel as a female and the word sister implies respect and that I'd hate to be a reason for them to be lied to. Couldn't live with it.

If it was true that the 'shameful' relationship were doing them more good than their 'true' partner, I could do it.
'If they were that bad they would leave'- come on, how many disturbing accounts are there of people routinely bashed senseless by their partners but who still love them? depend on them? and more importantly, go back to them? The inability to leave is something of a characteristic of abusive relationships.
What if the justification is just that- true? (as opposed to an excuse.) I really feel that if the countless folk in unfulfilling relationships- either abusive, or ill-matched, or just devoid of emotion- were to find someone better they would truly be better off.
If someone has really tried at a relationship- I mean, given all their effort- and is getting nothing out of it, 'duty' is a pathetic excuse. They are not staying there for them, they receive nothing. And they are not staying for their partner, to whom they seem irrelevent. (And their partner is hardly being 'dutiful' in that case.) I hope they find someone they are happier with.
(although in most cases the 'blame' would be more or less equal, but the same circumstances apply.)

There are plenty of people who leave an unsuitable partner for someone better. The deceivers generally never give up, and either they lose both, or just the one and go back to their oblivious spouse. Or end up with the other and eventually leave them too. I question the motivation of such destructive individuals but I doubt there are really that many.

To me the word 'sister' implies a family relationship. Nothing more- and not necessarily respect, which has to be earned IMHO. I don't immediately feel more of a connexion to any random woman simply because we are the same sex. It's not automatically worse if it's a woman being lied to.

V day is not a celebration of love but of money. QED therefore the solution posed would be that people everyone should send cards to there bank managers to show how much they love their loan/overdraught/credit cards/mortgage. ie the love of money?

plausible/or momentary madness you decide.

plausible, but the same commerciality applies to christmas, easter, halloween etc. etc.

I think you should make of these days whatever you think they should be about. I like having a day to remind you to think about your loved one (in today's busy world the little things can be forgotten) and it doesn't have to involve money. You could make breakfast in bed, make your own card (the best types), just do silly special things

There's enough cynicism in the world (and in me) so rather than disregarding the 'special' days, we could make them special in our own ways

(Many profuse apologies if any of that sounded soppy, I'm very, very tired!)

JUSTIFICATION FOR MARRIAGE

marriage a lifelong agreement between two people that is legally binding saying that (lit. till death do us part), affair: transaction made outside this agreement that does not nullify it but poses a threat to the co-signitory in the agreement, that he she is not loved fully as the agreement states. RESULT:- since the agreement imply's total honour, respect, faithfulness, and truth. the agreement can still continue to function if the affair is shared openly-in the form of a verbal conference.

FORGIVENESS being the only realistic result:

see

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A485787
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A152326

NB fear of marriage comes implicitly with this entry...plea for help!...sob!...sob!

bable_fish

Thank you for your little burst of optimism but do you feel that the application of commercialism to a celebration of the human heart is a foul look at our ingraned traits in society. To say that instead of concenting to this jumping on the bandwaggon of the shops and business people we should reject their claims to hold the solution to our emotions??

I favor not the affore mentioned attact of synacism but a production of another kind of obligation free, free friendship notes, each day of the year to make one person see their own value and worth to the friends that send it them, with statements like "you have greater wealth than gold!" [-minus the soppiness o'course] and personal notes from there closest drinking buddies!! aka 'true' friends!!

The real reaction this entry is making is to the lack of need our society has for all things soppy and romantic, and the cying desire-screaming from the depths of symbolism, of people to experience 'real' love from there friends and family.

RESPONSE: give mum a call to see how she's doing!!

Bable fish

Anything is open to commercialisation by *someone*. However I do not think it is cheapened or overcommercialised except by someone who does not really believe in it (see televangelists.)

However, commercialism did not create V'sday, so celebrating it is not like willingly giving money to MuckyD's.

I think it's because most of us (and hopefully all, eventually ) experience and know this real love and appreciation, from whatever source, that we are so sarcastic regarding soppiness. It is a hollow approximation that deservedly attracts mockery.

agree with the notes; tho' for me it would not be ritualised. I dislike occasions anyway. Dress up for no reason, celebrate something unexceptional etc.