h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh I have a dog poo gripe right now, but it's a bit more than petty!

There's a great square at the end of our street. It's completely fenced in and I've used it daily to take Max for a quick game of frisbee, and it's a also a super spot to do some recall type training. Yes he poops there, but I always pick it up (and wander back home with the dangling plastic bag...)

A couple of months ago an irate mother had a go at me and Max, and complained her children were coing home covered in doogy doo, and that she was going to get No Dogs signs erected.

On Friday evening when I walked Max to the square, there were No Dogs signs on every gate.

Now, at this time of year, when it's freezing cold and/ or wet and rainy, us poor dog owners are the only ones in there!

People who are so paranoid that they call the cops on me simply because I'm walking Tess in the middle of the night.

Bizarre ... is it a known MO for bank robbers to take dogs with them on heists? Apart from sheep rustling, I'm pressed to thing of a criminal activity where it might be the case ...

Eating too much Sunday dinner and having to undo your trousers

Son out with mates, wife a sleep on sofa whilst I walk back from fridge with beer in arms with pants round knees

At least you're having a good time.

Petty hate from early this morning: People who thing it's good fun to dial random numbers just to see what happens.

Hubby and I were woken at about 1:40 this morning by our phone ringing. I couldn't think who would call us at that time and I was worried it might be my Mum in some kind of trouble, so I got up. The phone stopped ringing just as I reached it. 1471 gave a mobile number I didn't recognise. Hubby's a 'key-holder' for his company, so he rang the number just in case somebody was trying to get hold of him. The caller turned out to be a young woman dialling random numbers after a night out. Hubby gave her the chance to say it was a wrong number, but she obviously thought it was all a good joke.

I was jolted out of sleep so abruptly that I couldn't remember where the nearest phone was (one reason why it took me so long to answer it). Hubby couldn't get back to sleep and had to stay up, watching TV, until he felt able to drop off again. I've been trying to think of a suitable punishment for lame-brains who do stupid things like that, but I can't.

I guess you still know the phone number, I can make a very easy suggestion beyond just getting your husband to write it on the walls of the local public toilets

Quite simply call them back at an unsociable hour. By which I mean, unsociable to them which will be about 7am when you head off to work ...

I'm numbed to middle-of-the-night phonecalls now since my phone number differs from a local taxi firm by the last digit, 3 & 6 respectively. I've been woken so often by a wrong number at 3 on a Sunday morning that I practically answer it in my sleep! What makes it become a petty hate is hearing the caller giggling as they hang up without apologising.

Deb

The local buses display the message "Sorry I'm not in service" when they are not picking up passengers. Quite apart from the obvious grammatical problems, is it really necessary to personify the bus?

You know, you can just switch off your phone or turn the ringer off. That way, you'll never have your sleep disturned. I never got the whole 'slave to the phone' thing whereby all calls must be answered.

I ignore the phone unless i'm happily in a position to answer it- i.e not eating/sleeping/sh**ing. I'll usually dial 1471 to check the number afterwards, but essentially if it's important, the person will try both my home and mobile phone. If it just rings once on one number, it isn't important

If this attitude means that one day I miss the call that tells me someone has died in the night, well so be it; they'll still be dead in the morning Knowing a few hours earlier is unlikely to make any difference to anything.

The smell of crisps. An odd one this by my own admission, because I quite like eating crisps and don't mind the smell from my own packet
But the smell of someone else eating crisps makes me gag. I find it a truly repulsive smell (any flavour) that catches in my throat. Dunno, they just don't smell like real food to me. Smells artificial and chemically But again, this doesn't bother me when i'm eating them myself.

Anyone else with me on this or is it just me

I'm definitely with you on that. I've often found the effect especially noticable on buses. Like you, I've no problem eating them myself.

Yay! I'm not alone. Yes on buses was what I was thinking of. The smell seems to linger for ages afterwards too
Mind you I don't suppose everything that tastes good, smells good. Take beer (go, on take some )Nobody would or should sniff beer the way you sniff wine, before drinking. Beer smells awful, even real ale. The smell doesn't prepare you in any way for the taste.

I tend to find its super lager that reeks or just booze on someone else's breath when they are reeking of it

(and sometimes various other bodily fluids)

its not the young ones really either when i think about it..
cider? no problem
alcopop? fine
vodka? fine

but its the discerning drunkard with their vomit ridden Bristol Cream substitute or a ponsy Real Ale drunkard on a night bus/train back from the pub when you head out dancing

They make you stay away from the bad stuff

Comic artists who don't do their research.

Especially with horses.

Listen up, people:

1) The reins are attached to the bit, which is in the horse's mouth. They don't come out of the back of the bridle.

2) A horse pulling a carriage doesn't pull it by the reins.

3) A saddle has a shape. It's not just an odd lumpy thing. It also has a girth, else it would fall off.

4) The reins aren't just held in a fist - maybe if you're drawing an amateur, but all your characters are meant to be expert horsemen...

5) Horses don't really spend a lot of time rearing.

6) If you give them magic levitating horseshoes so they can fly, they'll be flying upside-down. It's like strapping water wings to your ankles.

(And books, too. You don't "knee a horse into a gallop" nor do you pull on the reins to change directions.)

People who stop and chat in the doorway of a Fish & Chip shop

Ours is a really small establishment( very nice food)and I was one of the lucky ones inside when the heavens opened up , the north wind rattled down the road and traffic had no alternative but to travel through the only puddle in the village ( outside the Fish &Chip shop)
If I had been one of many who were stood outside waiting to get in and be served ( I will leave that to your imagination)

How does one hold the reins?

People who wash up the cutlery and then leave them in a horizontal position onm the draining tray, instead of vertically in the cutlery-draining rack.

I am fed up with having to remove tide marks from clean cutlery that hasn't been allowed to dry properly .

Yes its wierd that one . I find the smell of a plate of fried food with ketchup on is quite nauseating . But if you stick a full English breakfast in front of me , I will scoff it down with relish .

Relish or ketchup?