h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Sorry, that isn't quite what I meant. I wasn't insulting good honest cleaners.

It's a lucrative little sideline these days as more people seem unable to clean their houses themselves.

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Or the world has dumbed down so much that people will sit and watch other people cleaning a house...almost approaches watching paint dry.

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Now there's a format worth selling!

The big question is though: who would present it?

lawrence Lewellyn Bowen

Dumbing down notwithstanding, they are still making a heck of a lot more dosh than other cleaners and more fool you for watching...

Apart from the 'pee-pee' gripe those two are a necessary evil... Have you seen some of the houses they go to?

How clean is your house is a wonderful programme. It makes me feel very good about that fact that, although my flat can become a tip in two secoinds flat, I at least know how to put things in the bin.

I notice cyclists keep coming up in this thread. PS Spinks - the pedestrian may live, but can still be seriously hurt.
More cycle paths are needed, and drivers who park on them need to be dealt with. I was in galsgow this weekend - lots of lovely cycle paths, all with cars parked in them. Quel point then one must ask!

Having been serious for far too long - Royal mail again. Is it MY fault that whoever posted this parcel didn't put my house number on it? So why the accusatiory questioning when I went to pick it up? The postie had obviously worked out where it was meant to go or I wouldn't have gotten my 'please pick me up' card!

Zantic

A friend's father was actually killed by a cyclist. Cyclists can kill people. I'm happy to ride on the road if I feel safe but often I don't, motorists don't know how to treat cyclists. At least on the pavement my safety is in my own hands

Royal Mail - Recorded Delivery, what's that all about then?

In theory the postie is supposed to get a signature upon delivery, however I've had nothing but problems with it.

Apparently Royal Mail do not guarantee that they will actually deliver Recorded Delivery (only Special Delivery), when checking to see if packages/letters have been delivered half the time they can't tell me.

I've been asked: 'why don't you phone up the recipient to see if he's received it!' Answer, 'because I'm sending Recorded Delivery because he's refusing to answer phone calls and letters and I want to know that the letter has been received as evidence.' 'Why don't you send it Special Delivery?' Answer: 'Because it's too f*cking expensive - all I want is to know it has been received'. 'Well, sometimes, they just put it through the door without getting a signature, that might be why we have no record of delivery!' Why am I paying extra for the signature then?

Have actually been offered compensation for non-delivery (normally only paid out in stamps anyway), however after checking the recipient had received the package I was too honest to continue - not that Royal Mail Customer Services could give a damn either way.

*Not in w**k so can speak freely*

AGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! Don't talk to me about RM Customer Services or (even worse) Parcel Force Customer Services. I honestly think we'd have far fewer stroppy customers if the Customer Service lines stopped employing chimps... (obviously there are some there who aren't chimps and are actually quite helpful... my department loves you from the bottom of our collective heart.)

[There was a huge rant here but it was not only venomous and slightly unreasonable but also gave away what department I work in, which might not have been a good thing. Thus it has been removed.]

if we're going to rant about departments I'm ranting about Quality
arbitrary changes of how they assess our work without telling us
failing to assess us at all 1 month because they tried to record us taking calls in the daytime, we're the night team, didn't it occur to them we might not be there
telling us how to do our job when they've never done it themselves
being basically an excuse for management to avoid paying us our bonus

I have discovered something more annoying than Crazy Frog.

Sweetie the Chick... Arrgh! Horrible, sickening, twee CG bird who sings in this awful warbling falsetto.

c'mon - that's not worse than crazy frog!

Maybe not, but it's definitely on a par...

No no. I heard the worst one last night.
You (or them, chavs etc) can get ringtones now for 'passing wind' sounds and belches.

What sort of idiots do I share this planet with?

Oh God... I can almost hear the group of chavs chortling their arses off at those.

Panpipes.

They compile those albums of hit songs where the panpipes play the part of the singer. They think they're being all relaxed and new-agey but the bloomin things grate with me.

A few years ago in my local Co-op I heard an easy listening sax version of Sweet Child O' Mine.

Am getting annoyed by that advert for car insurance where the woman says: 'How much did we save?' He says '30%' She says 'Ooh that's quite a lot' There's an EXTRA 10% off if you purchase it online.

Hate being treated like an idiot - 30% of nothing, still nothing! Why don't they all BOGOF - Buy One (at twice normal price) Get One Free.

Quote me happy - not!

I hate walking into pubs or clubs alone. I can be pretty shy and lacking in confidence at the best of times and I hate looking stupid hunting for people

Loans adverts. One especially - homeowners only financial situation doesn't matter as long as you are a homeowner. No equity required.

Pardon - but doesn't that mean your HOME is equity?

On the other hand there is at least one loan company that has started to point out that although you can 'condense all your loans into one with a lower monthly payment', it will take more time and cost more in the long run. Wow - the truth from a financial institution.

Zantic