h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lentilla!!!!
You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk........

em - where did you get the idea that brains were placed somewhere near your kneecaps?? Oh, I suppose in your case they would be, tell me, do your brains spread out when you sit down?

Emmi - it is sad when one is so low in life that they go into complete denial and start thinking of themselves as godlike. I'm sorry, but I have to be brutal here. You are not god. If there is a god, he is currently pointing and laughing at the little joke he made when he created you. Is that actually your head or did your neck just throw up?

I generally prefer to insult everybody in one go, in the spirit of insulting generalisations that this thread was created. You are all freaky net nerds, and I am only here because upon my last visit my shoe appeared to get stuck in the virtual gloopy puddle created by the combined greasy sweatyness that has travelled from your toxic armpits, down your spotty backs and between your humungous hairy butt cheeks to create a flow that finally washes out some of that cheesy crud between your toes (the only way they get clean) before oozing onto the carpets where the little furry carpet monsters that infest your home get fed. I quite liked that shoe, and though it may be sullied beyond all repair, I shall bleach and bleach again to try and make it mine again!

Queegle

As the consensus seems to be that our opponents in this intellectual bloodbath are lacking in anything resembling qualitative hygienic, sartorial or social elegance - something of a rule, rather than an exception - I thought it precipitous to move for a moratorium on observations of what is clearly a moot point at this stage, in the hope that our olfactorily-challenging collective can ascend beyond its current brief to take the debate to loftier climes.

With that, I offer the following observation. You all have a face like an arse. Bukaaak!

Ooooohhh....what a Fartknocker!

Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.

Of which you are living proof.

You lot prove the maxim of my old prof...*Those who obviously aren't members of the collective mind of mankind...* Oh, never mind you could never understand anyway....

You lot are the collective slimey gloop that forms underneath a full bin bag that has been left out for a few days! Hah!

Q

I'm sure you got used to the sight by now. I mean you've been 'living' (if one can call it that) in a home full of that stuff for as long as I am aware of your sorry existence.

Sad really.........

In fact, queeglesproggit is what I call the sludge in my vegetable drawer. Queegle, someday you can aspire to the same level of charm, grace, and perspicacity as the rotting green beans in the bottom of my fridge.

Chris, whose arse is this, particularly? Are we talking about Jennifer Lopez's arse, or Donald Trump's? If I had a face like J-Lo's arse, that wouldn't be so bad. I've got one for you - Chris, you have an arse like T'mershi's face.

Oh TD, don't try to emulate feelings. Sadness is something your lab assistant feels when they must clean out your cage. You'll be mimicing facial expressions next!

Lentilla, the fact that you let things rot in the bottom of the fridge says somethng about you, I'm not sure what, cuz I need time to think, but it's darn insulting!

I think the arse Chris may have been referring to was that of a dirty hairy spotty old man, as he would be using himself as reference...

You all smell of grey old yellow stained smelly grandad y-fronts!

Q

Queegle you are proof that leftovers can evolve into some kind of life form if left aloe for long enough. Not a very pretty sight though are you?

How do you know? Have you ever sat there and watched leftovers transform into a life form? Is your life that boring? (rhetorical question) For all you know it could be a life form of extraordinary beauty, you just didn't see it because such things are not meant for such smelly things as yourself!

You'd best run along, haven't you got some more rotting vegetables to keep your eye on?

Q (omnipresent & omnipotent baby yeah! )

Lentilla, if you did have a face like Jennifer Lopez' arse, I could get GTB to go over there with a syringe full of necrotizing faciitis and after we split the $300m insurance payout between us, I could buy a beach front property on Martha's Vineyard, GTB could afford a haircut and shave, and you could call in pest control to fumigate the amazonian proportions of filth emanating from your refridgerator.

Bill Parcells can't help you, either..

As for my arse, it is beyond the comprehension of mere mortals but if it were like T'mershi's face, my proctologist would no doubt sue for emotional distress.

Queeglesproggit, change your underpants for the love of God! A stench of that magnitude could destroy us all..

Your arse is beyond the comprehension of mere mortals? Is that in size, spottyness or hairyness?! .. to escape Chris' ever expanding pus covered matted hairy arse


Queegle

it's funny 'cos it's true...

T´mershi is such a nut, the UFO hotline limits him to one call a day!!

Oh, look! Em's just managed to understnad one of those joke e-mails that trawled the net two yreas ago...!
CONGRATULATIONS!