h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So have you simians managed to produce Hamlet yet?

Oh please, can't you write your own stuff? That was so last year on this thread.

*muses*

"flax-wench"?

I think I like that one.

*un-muses*

Saturnine you vile smelling gob of mucus how horrible to encounter you again! And it seems that your rank smell has simple increased in potency while I have been away - how do your fleas stand it?

She is just a waste of makeup........

I KNEW you nasty, foulsmelling dingbats would still hang around. Why don´t you all just go and have some (sat)urine soup with dingleberries and sheepballs. Should be several steps forward from your evereyday diet.

You are a cruelly backward lout and a preposterous,
nostril-offending cacophonous catastrophe.

You are an apostrophe in the never ending novel of life, merely punctuation to the real story. And you are mispla'ced.

I don't generally like to insult individuals personally...but.....

em - you've obviously discovered how to use Cut & Paste from mummy's big book of long words. Well done! Maybe by next year you'll grow the brain cells required to find out what some of them mean!

Emmi - where on earth did you hear about Hamlet?! Perhaps on some Shakespearian toilet paper you got for Christmas?

Saturine - nuff said.

T'mershi - we could do without the highlights of your daily diet thank you very much.

zoomer - you are not even in the story, you are the notes scribbled on a hanky but then were decided to be rubbish and used to blow somebody's nose

All of you! - I fart in your general direction! *spins around while producing stunningly long fart*

Queegle


Ooh it's good to be back at work

Amazing facts of life, part 43:
Some species can make a living on "producing stunningly long fart[s]" and call doing so "being at work".

Yes, I am quite lucky. Though I seem to have knocked out my office mate with my gasses, perhaps you could phone her, and the sound of your weasle-ly little squeaks will bring her round.

I know you're just jealous you have to save your own odious windy offerings till you get home. Isn't that the dwelling with the permanent green haze around the walls, where locals have posted signs outside saying "Beware! Here be foul smelling dragons!"

You call that an insult? how pathetic!

You know, you're quite right, how on earth could I ever imagine that anyone would think you had the brains to read at all, let alone anything Shakespearian, let alone concentrating on using the loo at the same time! Mind you don't flush yourself dear..

Queegle
RAAARRRRR!

Oh dear... keep trying, i'm sure you will produce an actual sting one of these days

Yes well at least I can come up with some insults rather than just saying "your insults are poo" like Some people *pointed stare in Emmi's direction before hastily turning away..."my eyes! oh god my eyes! they hurt!"*

Hopefully soon I shall be away from here so I don't have to endure the pungid stench coming from the armpits of all you net geeks that spend so long in front of the computer you forget to actually wash... yes, smell that smell do you? THAT'S YOU! when will they learn *shakes head sadly*

Queegle

Off home to your dunghill are you? Splendid.

You fool - of corse you hurt your eyes, the faces of gods are not meant for the eyes of mere mortals *sigh*

Congratulations. I am sufficiently bored enough to post something.

Gargantuous fools. The lot of you.

Misanthropes. Cads. Trollops. Conservatives.

The lot of you!

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow the kneecap off a flea..........

Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand for this year's Miss Anthrope, Ems!

Emmi - Hamlet is NOT a ham-and-cheese omelet. Try again.

Saturnine, you chase cars and bark at them, you simple, pus gulping, goat victimizing, epicurean flax-wench of a zombie gorilla with terminal mange.

Queeglesproggit, while you might have to fart every few minutes to keep from exploding, keep your noxious gasses away from my town. You're killing the grass. (And would it hurt to eat something besides yuck every once in a while?)

Zoomer, it's time for your annual bath, you shocking, fungus devouring, duck teasing, seditious suckling of Hugh Grant's greasy, tick-plagued loins.

Chris: Chicken lips.