h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's never gonna happen for me, Ben! (see post 3)

I agree with whoever it was that suggested becoming a parent was not analogus with becoming an adult. Is there a clear-cut definition? I guess not, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Someone called me madam in a shop the other day, and it didn't make me feel like an adult. Sometimes it just means the person in question can't see very well -I'm a man with a beard.

My guess is that if you can definately say you're an adult or not, then you probably aren't. I think the answer lies in being utterly unsure.

I guess I don't understand the sentiment that says I'm wrong in thinking the moment you become an adult is the moment you have children. Parenthood is the biggest responsiblity anyone could ever have. You and your spouse are responsible for the care and protection of a life that you both made. Until one experiences what that feels like, I can't really say they know what adulthood means.

But then, I think it probably varies from person to person what adulthood is. It's a little different for everyone, else we'd all be clones with perfectly mapped out lives.

I'll tell you one of the first steps to becoming an adult....realizing your parents are human with real problems and real foibles.....but loving them anyway no matter how stupid they are/seem to be.

I didn't say you were wrong Perium, I was merely suggesting that the ability to reproduce doesn't always confer responsibilty. (Wow, that sounded stuffy).
Since having a daughter I have been a lot more responsible, but the question of adult-hood still nags. I once heard (or read) somewhere that you are never truly an adult until your parents die.
Too sad to contemplate really.

Being a parent is a great responsibility. And being an adult is very much about taking responsebility. But just because you get children doesn't mean you start being responsible. You could be an awful parent.

But I'm not.

Then again I re-iterate, it's different for everyone. I think it happens in steps. For me its was the falibility of my parents that was the first step, the last was seeing my own child born.

I can only see the steps though because I've lived them already. I can look back and see what got me to where I'm at now.

And that has to be how it works. One step at a time.

i realised aeveral years ago that may parents werent perfect & dint know everything. also that theres a lot wrong with this world (due to human nature - & what an evil thing that can b @ times!) that cant b completely righted. etc etc etc. & im only 17 now!
oh, & whoever said it was gettin cheap tickets etc thats not tru. i have a friend whose 40 & she can get child fare & still gets asked for id in pubs!
speaking from the child (or i probly shud say adolecence, but i hate that word(partly cuz i cant spell it!)) point of view i reckon it depends on how u feel, how u act & how other percieve u. v vague i know, but what can u expect, im talkin bout a subject i havent experienced 1st hand!

omy
& geraldina (she refuses 2 contribute cuz reindeer become adults as soon as they start beingh able to have kids!)

I have this overwhelming urge to ..'summarize'.

Various answers seem to depend on how old you are and how much you have experienced. But from the assorted ideas offered here so far, there seem to be 5 steps to adulthood:
1. puberty
2. self reliance
3. awareness of parents' fallabilities
4. parenting
5. loss of parents

Woo-hoo! I'm all grown up now !

jwf

Perium, taking your point to the next level, does that mean that when you separate from the mother of your child and - as happens in many cases to men, lose custody and have severely restricted visitation rights - you lose the right to claim adulthood as well?

A more realistic definition of adulthood is when you take up your parents hints to leave home, get a job and pay your own bills.

No because adulthood isn't a status that once earned can be taken away.

It's a stage in life that you've reached through living.

In addition to which I've met people that are able to pay their bills, but yet still I would never label as adults.

Bill paying living on one's own is only part of the equation.

dammit. im 2/5 f the way there (tho mayb not quite stickin to the correct order!). i dont wanna b a groan up!

There are at least two parts to "being grown up"- adulthood and maturity.

Adulthood is, I think, the more objective. It is determined by crossing various thresholds in age and status, being allowed to vote, drink etc...
But many adults can be immature.

Maturity is not a stage in life- it is a qualification of behaviour.

Everyone, old and young can act maturely or immaturely.

Acting maturely, if this signifies acting in a "grown up" way, is to do with acting in a way that recognises human fallibility and yet is courageous.

But each action depends on context, and there are many times when the adult thing to do is to act like a child.

So there.

"act like a child".....dont need 2 ACT there!

I think adulthood starts to happen when we realize that "We are the people our parents warned us about"

Rod

An adult is just what your body gets to be when it reaches 18. Hopefully, your brain never atrophies in the form commonly known as adulthood.

Maybe it is being considered responsible enough to buy alcohol, and then drinking irresponsibly

I have a

I don't know if I am an adult or not, I have the mortgage/pension/living with boyfriend/been made redundant twice in my life/etc stuff sorted out and sometimes like to do grown up things but at the same time I still feel about 18 inside and any second now everyone is going to find out I that I am only masquerading as an adult. When wrapping presents the other day I had to have a swordfight using the long empty cardboard tubes (and giggling madly) - not the action of a mature person!

k

Nothing in particular.

I went to see a friend of mine a couple of days ago. We have known each other for 13 years - thus we have seen each other *mature* as we got older. BUT, as we walked to the school to pick up her 4 yr old we were mucking about and giggling like teenagers most of the way there. Also we both had jeans on, were wearing leather jackets and were carrying rucksacks. There was a moment when I thought to myself - I can't imagine MY mother ever being like this at my age...

So (getting to the point) I reckon that even though (general consensus) kids seem to *grow up* too fast these days - I think we are *growing old* alot slower.

"When wrapping presents the other day I had to have a swordfight using the long empty cardboard tubes (and giggling madly) - not the action of a mature person!"

Wrong! (Please let it be wrong).

Apparently adolescence is a comparatively recent evolutionary trait - when we were apelings we jumped that stage - we can't just write off all those who passed before us.