h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

we can only have one 'trade it in for.....' otherwise its cheating - but the other ones added

Though of nother.. quite wierd cause brian is slow tday..

Take letice, waits til it starts going brown at the edges, and put in on some kabab meet and in pita bread stuff and its a kabab?

Hmm, no forget i said that its scrouball....

Eat it?
feed it to your pet bunny?
Feed it to your tortoise (not too much as its actually toxic to give too much to tortoses)?
Wrap it round yor feet and hold it in place with string to make recyclible shoes?

I like - especially the screwball kebab one

make letice icecream? use a letice to disguise a hidden camera to be able to get secret images of tortoses? take the letice leaves and sew them together to make a sheet?

and why not?

How many were needed ? 101? at this rate I'll muster up 1001 wholy daft uses for letice :
Take out the heart of the letice and use the remaining bit as a bowl to put fruit in??
mAKE A LETICE CURRY?
COVER IT WITH POISEN AND LEAVE IT in the garden to kill slugs? Or even neighbours?
Throw it at polititions?
Worship it as a divine creation?
Genetically modify it so that it produces chocklate proteins and therefore produceds chockalate letice?
Or:
Make a sugar sandwich, by placing sugar on a letice leaf and fold it over and then eat (my father actually used to do this!)? oh where did all those capital letters come from?

for the benefit of those that missed it....http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A643439

we're doing well now - once the 101 is met, I'll change it to 202

shread it then use it to stuff a sofa

shread it in the office shreader to prevent corporate spies stealing shreaded info and reasembling it.

keep a few lettuces on the dashboard of your car to engourage people to think you are mad and therefore not steal your car.

stab several lettuce with several javelins and then use them as hat stands.

spend a whole morning thinking about lettuce as a way to aleviate the boredom and horror of having to be at work on a Dobry

FABT

Buy another one and feed 5000?

Buy some peas and make a scale model of the Solar System?

Freeze it in liquid nitrogen and then bash it with a hammer?

Pull all the leaves off and stitch them together to make clothes?

all shall be added

lettuce us lurk in peace.

word gag is something you can do with lettuce.

only if lettuce?

me

Use it as a pin cushion (but only if your pins are made of stainless steel)

that, along with an earlier suggestion can go down as 'bad puns'

I missed out the pin cushion one

Oh, theres a 101 things to do with a pin cussion thread

we need to sort out the lettuce first!

I'm still pndering the significence of spelling as it is, but my speling being so bad anyho I'm struggling to figure that one out

a typo in the title - I called it "101 things to do with a lettAce' when it should've been lettUce

Cut a hole in the top, stick a candle in it and use it as an alternative to a Jack-o-lantern at Hallowe'en. Or as an interesting centrepiece for the table at Christmas dinner.

Shred it and sprinkle it on the garden as fertiliser.

Liquidise it, add a bit of sparkling water and attempt to sell it for extortionate amounts of money as the latest must-have health drink.