h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have been studying the sacred scrolls, and have come upon a shocking realisation.

It's pronounced "Nigh tho' over", meaning "yet to come but already happened", and encapsulates the fundamental trancendental dichotomy of the hootoo philosophy.

I disagree totally!

You are but a Emissary of the hairballs under my bed.

I announce a schism from peet!

I dennounce you and what you say, sir!

The hairballs under your bed are Emissaries of the mice... (Benji: :Frankie)

I fear we may have seen heresy here. Which one may be moot. Call me crazy but I tend to trust someone named *Peet* over someone named *The Evil One*.

Tell us which path to follow, Oh Grate Won!

Yon, obviously you have never taken the advice of anyone called peet otherwise you'd have learnt from the experence!

give us a sign

Well...both of you sound like nice enough people....

Oh Nighthoover, grate succour of dust and thee of the never-emptying bag, hear our please. Tell us the direction we should make, or even if we should tell both of them to bugger off!

Thus we bespeach you, light the path with your little light on the front!

racing dirbles garble delibatious fortitudes unheathingly agast younder birble yelps at granslaps for dopions dirble so

Wibble!

lettuce spry mrrly or joifulnes

Don't take my word for it; work it out for yourselves:

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"nigh"
adv. nigh·er, nigh·est

1. Near in time, place, or relationship: Evening draws nigh.
2. Nearly; almost: talked for nigh onto two hours.

adj. nigher, nighest

1. Being near in time, place, or relationship; close. See Synonyms at close.
2.
1. Being on the left side of an animal or vehicle: pulling hard on the nigh rein.
2. Being the animal or vehicle on the left: the nigh horse.

prep.

Not far from; near.

tr. & intr.v. nighed, nigh·ing, nighs

To come near to or draw near.

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"tho"
adv : despite the fact that; "even though she knew the answer, she did not respond" [syn: although, though]

n : a branch of the Tai languages [syn: Tho]

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"over"
prep.

1. In or at a position above or higher than: a sign over the door; a hawk gliding over the hills.
2.
1. Above and across from one end or side to the other: a jump over the fence.
2. To the other side of; across: strolled over the bridge.
3. Across the edge of and down: fell over the cliff.
3. On the other side of: a village over the border.
4.
1. Upon the surface of: put a coat of varnish over the woodwork.
2. On top of or down upon: clubbed him over the head; tripped over the toys.
5.
1. Through the extent of; all through: walked over the grounds; looked over the report.
2. Through the medium of; via: addressed us over the loudspeaker; can't tell you over the phone.
6. So as to cover: put rocks over a cave entrance; threw a shawl over her shoulders.
7. Up to or higher than the level or height of: The water was over my shoulders.
8.
1. Through the period or duration of: records maintained over two years.
2. Until or beyond the end of: stayed over the holidays.
9. More than in degree, quantity, or extent: over ten miles; over a thousand dollars.
10.
1. In superiority to: won a narrow victory over her rival; a distinct advantage over our competitors.
2. In preference to: selected him over all the others.
11. In a position to rule or control: The director presides over the meeting. There is no one over him in the department.
12. So as to have an effect or influence on: the change that came over you.
13. While occupied with or engaged in: a chat over coffee.
14. With reference to; concerning: an argument over methods.

adv.

1. Above the top or surface: climbed the ladder and peered over.
2.
1. Across to another or opposite side: stopped at the curb, then crossed over.
2. Across the edge, brink, or brim: The coffee spilled over.
3. Across an intervening space: Throw the ball over.
3.
1. Across a distance in a particular direction or at a location: lives over in England.
2. To another often specified place or position: Move your chair over toward the fire.
3. To one's place of residence or business: invited us over for cocktails.
4. Throughout an entire area or region: wandered all over.
5.
1. To a different opinion or allegiance: win someone over.
2. So as to be comprehensible, acceptable, or effective; across: eventually got my point over.
6. To a different person, condition, or title: sign the property over.
7. So as to be completely enclosed or covered: The river froze over. Engineers sealed the tunnel entrance over.
8. Completely through; from beginning to end: Think the problem over. Let's read the memo over.
9.
1. From an upright position: kicked the bookstand over.
2. From an upward position to an inverted or reversed position: turn the paper over.
10. Another time; again: counted his cards over; had to do it over.
11. In repetition: made me write it ten times over.
12. In addition or excess; in surplus: lots of food left over.
13. Beyond or until a specified time: stay a day over.
14. At an end: Summer is over.

adj.

1. External; outer.
2. Excessive; extreme.
3.
1. Not yet used up; remaining.
2. Extra; surplus.

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(Definitions courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com)

So, can anyone come up with a more scripturally plausible interpretation?

perhaps later...

Hmmm. Not only that but I love the use of * fundamental trancendental dichotomy*. It could be very useful at the pub......

I tend to be swayed but not swerved, leaning but not lent.

fundamental trancendental dichotomy??

I gave THAT up for Lent - and dictionaries!!!

Ahhh, obviously you know the true way of night hoover. Fundamental trancendental dichotomy and dictionrys are vices to be denied

my head hurts, and the lemmings are clawing at the door, again.

Well you shouldn't have closed your mind in the first place. Open the door so that the lemmings can go through and fall over the cliff edge into the cavernous depths. I'll let you decide whether those are on the outside or the inside.

Yea, verily human definitions cannot describe the infinities of Nighhooverishnessability.

I'm beginning to wonder if nighthoover not only found the secret of cancel but learned to apply it to other researchers. A great many have gone missing since their first cheerful "hello, no time now, I'll be updating this shortly" messages. Have they been sucked out of h2g2 by the nighthoover? Has this happened even unto Saturnine - one of the most prolific posters in the world of hootoo?

No, panic over. I've just checked and there has been recent activity wandering around from thread to thread as befits a planetary body. Just not enough to show up on the Info pop charts (and no new personal messages for the fans). Incidentally, shouldn't we get infomercials on that channel? The long awaited third coming of the nighthoover could be broadcast.