h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

WS, you are right as always, vodka isn't a long term answer, apart from anything booze is a depressant! However for tonight it has stopped my mind racing and heart pounding! I might not have the glass next to me though as might end up praying to the porceline God!

SS,

I don't drink beyond the odd glass of wine on special occasions. I find it depresses me and makes me bad tempered too

As I said before take care. I am going off line now as I am very tired but will pop in tomorrow to see how you are.

Websailor

And it gives be a thumping which is not nice.

Websailor

Blimey what are they doing to me, lol!
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My doctor said they would ring me wednesday after ringing community mental health team and since I had not been rung I just ran docs and found out the doc I saw left thursday for good and a fax was sent to wrong place and re-sent on 29th. The surgery secretary will ring me on monday for telephone number of community mental health team. Strewth this is enough to give someone a nervous breakdown, lol.
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There is ONLY one cure for this extra stress so Strangely reaches for his bottle again, and heads out clothes shopping water bottle in hand!
See, the bottle really can help in times of stress,lol. No seriously, booze is NOT the answer to problems and makes them worse in long run.

Ok I am back from shopping with more hippy style clothes for my fun hippy style at moment.
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It was one big panic attack from start to end and after standing in chemist for 10 mins getting even more hyped up I came home after finishing shopping. It was a REALLY bad burst of panic attack and was litterally making a noise like a horse after a long race with exagerated breathing trying to catch my breath. In the end I realised I was like the woman on TV who they called an ambulance for as having a bad panic attack and the noise I was making was like hers with too much breathing out and not enough breathing in so basically my body, like hers, was not getting enough oxygen!
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Eventually I got home and luckly it started to subside. I was speaking to a woman in a shop who I had spoken to before about it, she had to give up work due to same as me and she gave me a few tips about therapy as she had done it and ways she still uses to relax as still taking meds similar to mine.
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As to vodka if I think about using it again as a bad way of self medication I shall either wrap up and put bottle out of way for guests only or throw away as an extreme measure.
I shall of course buy no more vodka so it isn't in house, exactly like I did with foods like bread, pasties, pies, sweets, etc as I was binging on them and my waist size went up 6 inches!
I suddenly only felt like eating one main meal a day a month ago so do that and eat fruite throught day to compensate which seems to be bringing my waist size slowly down so buying smaller Levi jeans, my favourite, as an incentive to lose wait. It seems to be working and seem to have dropped 2 inches around waist. Also simply not buying pasties, etc and them not being in house works as can't bing. I now only buy cuts of meat to cook and have veg with them.

That is so much better than eating say 2 pasties, a sandwich, and a whole packet of biscuits, all at same time which I was often doing!!

Definitely a better diet SS I am trying to do the same but it is not easy with a husband who likes a 'northern' diet, especially in this cold weather!

I do hope you can knock the vodka on the head. I know it is difficult but in the long run could make things so much worse.

Your experience with the is nothing new, I hear similar stories all the time I hope they get you sorted soon.

I would love to see a photo of you in your hippy style

It must have been helpful to talk face to face with someone with similar problems. Perhaps you will meet up with her again.

Take care,

Websailor

Strangely is smiling!!
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I have just had a VERY long chat with my bestest friend about her and me. I won't talk about her here but we always have a good chat about my probs and life in general.
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The vodka really isn't a problem and have just chucked a half bottle of cheapest stuff away down sink. The rest is in cupboard for now and could end up in sink too if try to self medicate badly again with it. All 3 of my meds should not be taken with booze, one a Cholesterol controller loses effect if taken with too much booze. The other 2 meds can have thier unsteadyness effect increased.
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Talking to my bestest friend has really cheered me up as it always does. My hippy style clothes are making me smile too, along with the hippy style gold star pendant. I need to go to docs again on Tuesday so a good chance to find out if fax from docs to community mental health team has been answered.
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My cat puked once again, at least weekly now, just after eating and ate it, apparantly done so enzymes can soften the food to be re-eaten.
It seems that cats are good for stress and it isn't just the stroking it is the fact that having something to care for helps. I love my cat to bits but puke eating is not her finest point! I would recomend a pet for de-stressing, dogs are good as get depressed people out and about and talking to people. I can't walk my indoors 3 legged cat but she is good to have around and stroke. I talk to her as well which is surely a reason to see the community mental health team, lol!!

Hi WS and SS well I made it then, thanks to your links I will go have a look back and read through the posts. Mk2 is still in bed just now,, and I have just sat down after doing the washing up, Hey! its good to get a while to relax and watch Heartbeat with a and put my feet up for One full hour
Smudger.

Make the best of every minute Smudger and here if you run out. Enjoy your programme.

Websailor

Welcome Smudger!!
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I am getting rather a lot of me time at moment,lol. However it was still nice to make my first ever candle lit bath the other evening and just float and relax for a while. You-time is so important, even just half an hour to sit and relax and do nothing is great!!
Birdwatching is great for me as peace and quiet is more or less guaranteed. My going out to do it has dropped of a little at late but I think that is due to a side effect of meds taking away interest in things, it is a known side effect. However I know it will come back more eventually and I like it that I know I can go and birdwatch anywhere really as so easy to do!
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Smudger, are there any voluntary groups where you are that could sit with MK2 to give you a chance to get out for an hour or so?

No SS, I don't think there are any such places around here, even if they were Mk2 does not like going out much at all these days. The same for me I am afraid, as over the past few years I have got this fear of crowded places and being with other people. I even take panic attacks when I have to go to ASDAs, and have been known to vomit when I eventually get out, which as you can imagine is very embarrassing with folk watching you
I always try to go when its quieter, but if its really busy, I dont go in, and go to another store.
Even if we get visits from her sisters and the room fills up, I have to get out as I start shacking and my pulse rate goes through the roof?
They say its a symptom of the PTSD I am supposed to have, they also say that this therapy will cure that, but I have my doubts
Smudger.

Blimey, I know how you feel Smudger! Lately my panic attacks, every time I left my front door at one point, have got me near to puking, I nearly puked at doctors while with the doc and was glad there was a sink just incase!
It is for that reason that when I go to local Sainsbury's I sit outside after shopping for an hour if weather isn't too bad as outside there are people but not too many. It is just right there to get me used to being with people but it isn't too crowded. I find that if the people who also sit outside seem friendly I often chat to them, normally it is the older people who chat more and I sense some are glad to chat as live on thier own so talk to no one all day sometimes.
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I find sitting outside Sainbury's for an hour, even if shaking non stop, even violently at times, is good for me and I forced myself to stay a full hour in beginning and then stayed for an hour and a half sometimes. I make a point of not heading home if in a very bad panic attac as it allows the panic attack to win which is bad.
The Pregabalin 200mg three times a day helps a little to control Generalised Anxiety Disorder I have and thus helps to control panic attacks a little. I hate to think what I would be like without mediction by now,lol!
I can't let panic attacks rule my life as get them when at my local nature reserve, infact I think they started there if i think back. To not be able to go there would be the end of me as it is literally a sanctuary for me too and a great part of my life as birdwatch there a lot!
To not be able to out when I wanted would be it for me. Losing my job due to this would be ok but to lose my birdwatching, NO WAY!!!

Yea! I do try every time I go to ASDA, I walk around the new part first (just been extended) as it is much spacier", for a while, then I head up to the other part to do the shopping. Yet I never enter an isle unless I can see a way out of it, as once that is blocked, I get all anxious
I keep trying to push myself further each time I go, but for some reason the fear always gets to me, yet only a few years ago I was perfectly OK in crowds, weird Eh!
Smudger.

Same here Smudger a few years ago I was ok too.
I think what happend is I have had depression from young with gradually got worse over years and along side that, as depression got towards its worst around 5 years ago, I started to get REALLY bad claustraphobia which stated to make me even walk out of an airport terminal as it felt too enclosed. now I can't even think of getting on a plane due to it as even the thought of it sets me off.
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The depresion was REALLY bad last winter and at its worst which unsurprisingly started to make me get jumpy untill even small noises made me jump out of my skin. This also unsurprisingly lead to panic attacks starting in mid summer this year. The panic attacks took the form of a perfect copy of bad asthma attacks which litterally brought me to my knees with non stop coughing fits until I started to retch and nearly vomit. It is strange what the mind makes the body do!
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My panic attacks take a differant form now due to meds, they are more like normal ones.
I don't know if you have worked out your own personal strategy to cope with your panic attacks, but this is mine and works mostly.
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I imagine in my mind with eyes closed that a small teddy bear runs across and grabs the panic attack which looks like a black multipointed round star. The star starts to turn pink, hence the panic attack too which is pretty funny so i often smile to myself which lessens the panic attack. If the panic attack is really big I make the now pink star shaped panic attack explode in my mind and turn into a shower of glittery pink and silver glitter which falls down slowly, which really makes me smile!
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It all sounds silly but often works partly due to fact that I have to stop walking, stand still and think of somthing other than panic attack. It was totally my idea to use this method so you might be able to come up with one to suit you smudger, if don't have a method already.

That's a neat one SS. It takes your mind off the panic.

I went through a phase like that after my Dad died. I had been so confined to the house that travelling wasn't an option. Once it was possible, I couldn't do it without being physically ill. It took about a year, of forcing myself to go in to the city on the one day a week, and staying there all day. I eventually managed to go in a coffee shop on my own which was a real achievement. I still couldn't go in a pub on my own, and find it difficult even with friends.

Take care both, and let's hope having someone to talk to helps everyone.



Websailor

We had another visit from Mk2s sister along with her great niece, what a tonic that was , she was like a wee angel wrapped up in her white suit Once Mk2 is back on her pins I might be able to try and get out again, as I think being cooped up inside all the time doesn't help me at all?
Its funny how folk have different ways of coping things like this, yet no matter how we do it, as long as we find something that helps us<ok
Smudger.

Blimey WS, I didn't know you went through all that!!
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Smudger, you are right, being cooped up all day is bad for you, even a while in the winter sunshine in garden would help. Somehwere outside where there are some people, but not too many, locally would help you too.
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I went out to my local bird sanctuary for bird watching today. Depression is sometimes linked to perfectionism, which I have in dressing, haircuts, etc. I have a new hippy looke at moment by buying from charity shops the clothes I wore when younger like Levis jean jackets and beads. I got on my bike this morning and was about to wipe rain of saddle with a tissue which I thought wasn't very hip so wiped it deliberately with my jeans.
That is the sort of thing I am doing now to rid myself of some of the harmful perfectionism I have and chill out clothing and thus in general life wise.
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I am really enjoying my return to hippy look as relaxed, helps charity shops and is cheap as clothes can always be used for my more normal dressing. Wearing beads sounds wrong at my age but I enjoy the relaxed feeling, I am growing a beard and my hair so it is very diffferant!!

I have gone the opposite way, I have tended to let myself go, I don't bother shaving for days or worry about my appearance, apart from one thing, I always keep my shoes shiny, a habit I have always had. I do however shower every day, another habit from my Navy days, but apart from that, I just don't bother now.
Also I get really frustrated as I cant do a lot of things I could do before my accident, even walking any distance or general housework is difficult some times. Its like the mind is willing but the body is not
Smudger.

SS,

I have had a few ups and downs in my life, and no doubt there are more to come. i find happiness, or contentment difficult to handle because in the past something has always come along and mucked it up

Looking back I wonder how I got through some of it but I did, and it gives me strength when things aren't going well.

I agree that being housebound is one of the most debilitating things. Getting out even for half an hour in the fresh air, and walking, if that is possible is a real tonic. For those who find it really difficult we have 'Ring and Ride' here which seems quite handy. I am so lucky to have a little bus that stops right outside my house and takes me for the first leg of a journey anywhere.

I have given up my charity events this year as it was getting too much, but I shall miss getting out and about and meeting people. I won't miss worrying what the weather is going to do though

The advice given to me when it looked as if I would become a carer for PHM, was to hang on to as much of my own life as I possibly could, which I have done, but it is difficult sometimes, to leave him behind and go out, I feel so guilty. He leaves me very happily

Websailor

Smudger, my ultra smartness was before the depression started to be really bad, it went down hill then, sometimes wearing the same clothes in and out of bed for 3 days if not going out. Hence my claim that depression stinks, lol! The depression is comparatively not too bad at moment however that is relative as close to tears on and off the last couple of weeks.
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The claimed link between depression and harmful perfectionism sounds likely to be correct as perfection is never really possible in real life so bound to be disappointed even if you do very well at something..
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Getting out once a day is something I try to do at moment even if just to local shops, I must try to go birdwatching more though now weather is getting colder.