h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It seems people aren't actually reading the words I'm writing here, and that's unfortunate. Let's try again to explain what I want.
I want a girl like those I see around me when I walk down the street--lovely lasses in fluttery light spring dresses in the sun. The girl next door.
I don't care for sordid wife brokering. In the original question I specified MEET. I need to meet someone in order to be sure she's nice and friendly, something not guaranteed by the mail order bride services.

Corinth: What kind of an answer do you expect. You have to be somewhere there are young girls. The only real problem you have is that old men and young women doesn´t usually hang out at the same places. So you need to decide wether to go to places with few of each or a place with a lot of young people, where they might find it a bit weird you´re there. But why not the beach, at this time of the year that seems like a good place. At least here where there´s 30 degrees.

And as for ageism, in what cases is it you feel old people are _wrongfully_ discriminated?

Thanks. So far the park was my only lead. The beach is a similarly good idea, and one I hadn't thought of. I'll try that soon.
I don't care about ageism. You can talk to jwf about that. Is there such a thing as rightful discrimination?

I do wish you'd get your story straight, Corinth. Why is it that you snub the many excellent concubine procurement agencies on the grounds that you need to meet with your intended beforehand and yet hanker after the "lovely lasses" you see in the street but have never even spoken to?

Well, some people are actually not chosen for a job because they are discriminated because of their abilities. Is that wrong?

Klutzism is rife in modern society. Only last weak I was unfairly turned down for a job as Russian ambassador to China on the completely spurious grounds that I speak neither Russian nor Chinese.

Oh, It's probably because the lovely lasses on the street are not concubines. Please forgive the seeming contradiction caused by this subtle distinction.

The true irony lies in your desire to find yourself a concubine without wishing to admit it.

I want a lover, and I want her young. That doesn't mean I want a concubine.
I'm at a loss as to what premises you are basing these conclusions on.

Just for the record, I certainly wasn't angered, just a teensy bit concerned. Ho hum.

On a more positive note - why not try a dating agency - they might be better able to meet your slightly specialised requirements - indeed, I'm sure they have books full of young people wishing to go out with old people - and vica versa!

I didn't make the original suggestion about the asian marriage bureaux; (and it is marriage they offer). But I did make a fairly flippant remark about them. In actual fact I find the whole idea makes my skin crawl. But that is for another thread.

On the subject of concubinage - it seems to me that a good concubine did much more than fancy sex. She made her lover feel good about himself and about the world. She entertained him. And in some cases manipulated him for political ends.

In the natural course of a relationship most people seek to be as engaging as possible in the early days, and to make the desired one feel as good as possible. Putting it crudely - to charm, and to flatter.

As most relationships progress in modern western society, other things kick in: the desires to share, to be understood, to be partners, and so on. And familiarity breeds, well, familiarity. You kick off your shoes, dont put on your make-up, drop your 'company' manners.

But a concubine on the other hand keept the arrangement continuously in the state it was in the early days. This must have taken a lot of self-control. Being charming and flattering can be hard work.

The Japanese acknowledged it openly with a clear distinction between Geishas, whores, and wives.

This could turn into a ramble, has already turned into a ramble. I just want to say that I have a lot of respect for concubines; it must have been a boring and lonely way of life, even if manipulating the men provided occasional entertainment. It is also closer to being a wife, in many respects, than to being a whore.

***B

PS - Sorry about the topic drift, Corinth.

a drifter called Ben

Au contraire ma Ben! The question of cultural differences may be at the heart of the question. Every society has different rules of engagement between the generations. And of course between the sexes.

Our western culture further defined age-group ranges into single decades of (in)difference and applied rules to all relationships, usually with a ten year limit, especially between the genders.

May-December marriages are standard in many cultures for the purpose of procreation and economic stability. It is only western culture that created the 'dirty old man' myth. We also too willingly apply the 'gold-digger' myth to any young woman attracted to older men.

Other than fodder for gossipers and tongue-waggers (now called the-self-righteously-politically-correct in cyberspace) I have to wonder whose interests are really served by enforcement of these standards?

~jwf~

I think your pushing it by applying the term 'myth' to the concept of the dirty old man and gold-digger. There's certainly an element of disapprobation prevalent in Western culture with regard to large differences in age when it comes to relationships, but it doesn't extend so far as to create myths, it merely generalizes. The acquisition of trophy wives is far from mythical, and it's not every day you hear about 20 year old Playboy models marrying septuagenarian street-sweepers.

Serious advice for Corinth and any other person that is looking for a relationship. Go out, meet people, be yourself and if it's going to happen it will. Unfortunately, there is nothing more off putting for a person than an air of desperation. Rightly or wrongly, people of any age who go out with the intention of finding romance/sex, etc are viewed suspiciously.

Re. ageism. I feel offended by the generalised comments made in earlier postings that young people are ageist and lack respect. I don't consider anyone in this forum to be old anyway and I don't think I am ever ageist. As someone (Corinth I think) pointed out earlier, all relationships should be built on a mutual understanding. The problem you may encounter, Corinth, in trying to meet younger women is that their attitudes may differ from yours and therefore the mutual understanding won't exist. I'm sure there are women out there that do share your feelings though and if you socialise enough you're bound to meet the woman of your dreams. Good luck.

From a nice, friendly 15-25 year old (just)

It's serendipitous that you should have been discussing cultural differences in my absence, for last night I found myself in the soft brown arms of lovely muslim Indian girl. A quick summary of the differences might be: Islam vs. Christianity, Asia vs. America, white skin against brown, and at least 20 years in age. Like opposite poles of a magnet we are.
It was a lovely evening, with a walk in the waning golden sunlight followed by some cheap street food, and afterwards she took me back to her house, where nothing illegal took place.
As for these myths,I don't have much gold for her to dig, and we've already concluded that I'm a dirty old man.

Thank you, my dear. You are indeed nice, friendly, compassionate. The fates are smiling on you.

I don't know that the fates are smiling on me but I do know that I have spent the last 4 years of my life around the over 80s. If I see someone in their 70s I consider them young.

{Robin} got to keep up to date with this thread.