h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just don´t expect to get any feelings untill after a few dates. Though I can still see why I might like some girl, or why I likely won´t.

Feelings have little truck with expectations. I've had situations where the feeling was there straight away, and others where it took knowing the woman for a few years before it developed.

It just seemed a bit early to decide there was no feelings. Give me a chance.

Whether it's too early to decide whether there are feelings on her part is up to her, surely? Sorry to sound harsh but your opinions on her timing are irrelevant.

Sorry, that was too harsh. Obviously you're perfectly entitled to your opinion, but it really is up to her. I was *badly* hurt a couple of years ago by mixed signals and whatnot but I realised that really, despite what I might feel about that, if she wasn't interested it's really not my place to get worked up over it.

(I should probably mention that I'm becoming something of a feminist as I get older so that will bias a lot of my opinions.)

No no, you´re quite right.

It happens sometimes.

Now you have established that you are friends with the Italian girl, why not enlist her help? She knows that you are looking for someone and, under the guise of a Danish lesson, you can ask her advice.

I haven't met you personally, but I've known you for some 10 years on h2g2 and if I was a girl of the right age and availability, the only problem you would seem to have is a lack of self-confidence. But I've probably already said that in those 10 years.

It's Catch 22 really. If you found someone, you would probably then feel so comfortable in her presence that you would automatically become self-confident.

Yes it´s a downward spiral. Girls don´t want me partly because I lack confidence, and every time it goes wrong more of my confidence is chipped away.
I did actually ask the Italian girl if she knew anyone, around when we first met. Though once we started "dating", that didn´t go any further. I just brought it up with her again, we´ll see if she can think of any.

One thing I've discovered is that confidence only diminishes if you let it.

On the other hand I did see a recent photo of BoliviaGirl all dressed up. I kind of wanted to pat myself on the shoulder, thinking "I actually dated a girl like that. "

I´m rather wondering what I have to lose by being seen as a stalkerish psycho. I can´really get less dates.

Do you want sex? Or a relationship?

Either.

"I´m rather wondering what I have to lose by being seen as a stalkerish psycho"

Dignity. The chance of meeting someone who's actually any good for you. Dignity. Possibly some friends. Dignity.

Apart from number 4, that sounds like a good deal.

I once had a rather bad experience, and decided to finally stop worrying about doing the right thing with women, and just get what I could. That lasted for about a year, before my consciousness got the better of me. That was the most succesful time I´ve had with women.

In the more extreme cases, you might even end up a few nights in jail.