h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So has me getting lucky entirely killed off this thread?

yeah looks like it

Did I miss something?

Come on - tell us all!

I guess I was pretty much the life of this thread. Last man standing.

Luckystar: Think you know it all already.

It was a real community effort Xan

How is it going at the moment?

Nothing new has happened. No real options. The new job doesn't seem a good place for finding women.
Still writing e-mails with Siberiagirl and so far she seems to not have gotten any lasting traumas about it. Artgirl on the other hand has been ignoring me for a while now, not too sure of the reason.

Yeah, that and me giving up moaning, entire sections of this thread were devoted to me and you. I have given up moaning though, I havn't had anything since what ever the last thing I said about in here. I am too busy this week to really care anyway. I think I may have made the wrong selection of course for uni, correct school, just wrong sub selection, or rather I chose something that was very openended and not includes stuff that im not interested in, but have a report due in tommorrow. Wish I had been more decisive and chosen electrical/electronic WITH something then i wouldn't have any mechanical type stuff to do jsut now. Instead I chose the one for people that couldn't decide if they wanted electrical or mech, though the people who chose electrical/mech without specifying doing it with something like AI and robotics or communications are doing pretty much the same course as me this semester, perhaps I should get round to telling my personaltutor this, though i only realised it over the last few days.


Impressive, two differnt conversation points in one paragraph. I should edit it, but instead I am going to go an find something to eat so I have the energy to force myself to do this *calms self from typing something unpostable* report.

*waves to everyone*

I've kind of been drifting away from h2g2 recently... I sort of got lucky two and a half times in August which really screwed me up quite badly what with one thing and another and my ex coming back from a year away.

On the way of sorting myself out after all that, I realised the following:
Ever since I was eight years old, I've always based far too much of my self-image on my relationship with some woman or other - if things seem to be going well and she's seemed to like me, everything's brilliant, and if it's not working out then everything's terrible. And because of that I've been paying far too little attention to other useful criteria, like am I good at what I do, and do people like me and respect me.

Also, when I was in my two major relationships, I got myself into a bit of a hole both times because for quite large bits of those relationships things weren't going well in the rest of my life but because I had a lovely girlfriend I refused to believe that everything in my life wasn't fantastic - so I didn't do anything about it or even realise that it was happening until much too late.

Plus which, of course, whenever women have fallen for me (and I've
been quite lucky really, because some rather special ones have) as far
as I'm concerned it's been by accident, it's because they did before I
worked out I liked them.

I've realised that the lovesick puppy needing someone to save him from
himself approach hasn't really paid dividends over the years, has it?

So I've taken an informed decision to get out of the game for a while,
and concentrate on being me and enjoying myself. The trouble is
reprogramming my brain to stop looking and leave it alone, which is
quite difficult. Because it knows that my strike rate when I'm not
looking for it is actually pretty good - whenever I've genuinely gone
out just looking to enjoy myself, rather than hoping to meet girls,
things have tended to happen - and the hardest thing is really
stopping looking rather than just pretending to myself that I am...

Well, that german au pair I mentioned earlier who had a boyfriend back in Germany, I decided to ask if she wanted to head to the cinmea. This movie we had talked about earlier was on. So I call her up, and she informs me that she has the boyfriend over visiting this weekend.

Maybe you should just steer clear of girls with boyfriends

Hmmm.... sounds like the answer would have to be...








A.L.I.C.E.




Wilma

?

www.ALICEBOT.org

Don't mind me, Serephina, just was in a mega weird mood yesterday.

Wilma the

A talking computer, how would that solve anything?

Well, I'm not going for her because she has a boyfriend. It's because she seemed to show a bitof an interest. And because being nice and not risking breaking up any couples, just means I will be back to having nothing. It seems that if you want women, you have to be willing to risk hurting them.

I'm still not looking!

Sounds like completely the wrong attitude to me.
When you do find a rekationship how would you feel to have someone try to break it up? or not care if they do or not?
Also what impression are you giving girls of your morals and respect for women n relationships in general? I certainly wouldnt think about seeing someone with the attitudes you're showing..

Hmmm. Can one person break up a relationship? Is that not a sign that the relationship wasn't that strong to begin with?

(yeah yeah, go on, have a go at me)

Let's call Xanatic's girl Jane. If she's really happy with - let's call him Joe - is she really going to leave him for someone else? (Even someone as adorable as our Xan?)

She does have a mind of her own you know. I resent the implication that all it takes is for a bloke to go in there with all guns blazing and the girl will swoon at his feet.

If she's showing an interest...then perhaps all is not well in her current environment.

It's a fine line to try to walk I'm afraid, as I found out to my cost several years ago...

A close friend of mine who is a jazz musician (lets call him Mr H) had just hooked up with this very nice young lady (let's call her, errr, Miss H). All was going well and I was very happy for them, however after a couple of months, I got the feeling that Mr H was getting restless, so one evening in the pub, I asked him about it. During the ensuing conversation he admitted to being bored with Miss H and was looking for a way to finish the relationship. When asked why he was bored, it became obvious that having been "around the block" a few times, he was frustrated by the innocence and naievity of Miss H. I advised him to do the honest thing, tell her the truth and end it ASAP, thus allowing her to continue on with her life and mourn the loss of the short-term relationship.

The twist comes with the fact that a couple of weeks later Miss H took over the running of a local jazz orchestra, giving her lots of contacts within the music industry and so was in an ideal position to get Mr H lots of nicely paid work as she was his partner. To add a further complication to this emotional maze, I had (probably inadvisably) slowly fallen for Miss H myself, but was not in a position to to do anything about it as she was blissfully happy with Mr H. Thus I had to deal with the knowledge that the only reason that Mr H did not finish with Miss H was that he got a lot of work out of it, but I felt powerless to do the right thing as I had a lot of (mis-placed) loyalty for Mr H.

For two years I had to watch from the sidelines, as Mr H went through the motions in a relationship that he had obviously lost interest in years ago while Miss H continued blissfully unaware and utterly besotted with Mr H. This inevitably drove a wedge between myself and Mr H and when the penny finally dropped with Miss H that all was not well, Mr H decided to terminate the relationship, in the full knowledge that the jazz orchestra that had generated so much work for him was splitting up anyway. During the ensuing fall-out I spent a lot of time with Miss H, as she was emotionally devastated and found it difficult to come to terms with the fact that the relationship she had built the last two years of her life upon was a sham.

Time makes fools of us all however and it became painfully obvious to me that I had no chance of a relationship with Miss H, as she still viewed me as Mr H's best friend (despite the fact that I had gradually grown to despise him over the last twelve months). She decided to cut her loses and go down South to finish her education. She thanked me for the emotional support that I had offered her and we parted as very close friends.

So, should I have pointed out the glaringly obvious to her during her relationship with Mr H and declared my intentions? Surely that would have lost me the faith and support of my close circle of friends. Was I just a coward for not forcing Mr H to come clean to Miss H? To be honest I don't know, but I regret not doing something when I should have.

The epilogue to all this? The friendship between me and Mr H has improved, but there are always some unspoken emotional scars that never really heal. He's currently living in jazz orietated domestic bliss with one of Miss H's closest friends (they don't speak anymore).

Miss H qualified as a primary school teacher and is blissfully happy with her currenat beau, who is a damn decent chap.

Me? I'm still single and will probably remain that way for the foreseeable future. Because I'm a coward.

Hmmm, that one was a rather complex case though. This is a lot simpler.