h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Your date sounds shy.

Your date sounds normal!

I'd suggest moving so you can feel less guilty about dating (now ex) housemate!

Oh and VV - never, ever let her know!

Hello dS.

Hey bb

Don't go out with him again. Until he's been trained a bit at least. You say you asked for the bill - did you also pay it?

However nice he is, I have heard so many stories of men - most of whom are really nice, intelligent people* - who have exploited their women. Some women even married these men (often the men Arabs or foreigners of some sort, but not always - it is a quick way to get a residence permit)

So avoid someone who lets you pay for everything and drive him all over the place. You'll soon find yourself making excuses for him and explaining why he is like this to your friends, trying to make it sound as if he would pay his way more and be less of a parasite if he could, but this will never happen - he will never get out of the habit.

A good guide is to watch him when paying for something - does he fiddle around with small change as if he's loath to let go of it, or does he blindly grab a handful of notes. While it's sensible to have a partner who doesn't waste money, he shouldn't mind spending on you at least while he is wooing you.



*I don't mean most men are nice and intelligent, I mean the men in the stories I've heard. I can't vouch for the niceness or intelligence of most men because I don't know them.

Oh no he is a nice guy, not the type you're thinking of. He just hasn't got round to passing his test yet (it took me 11 years!). I paid half for the meal and he didn't object. Which is cool - another housemate and I were having this discussion - I figure it's fair to go dutch on the first date, cuz then nobody's wasted money! But I am a traditionalist at heart. I let him pay for the drinks in the pub - made no effort to get my purse out!

My last boyfriend was very stingy.. I know the signs!


Milky housemate and I won't be dating. We're housemates, and that's that. Would rather live with him as a friend than away from him as a couple. It's a crush, I'll get over it.












Besides, there's always alcohol.....

alchol..the answer to everything..hic..

Is the sun over the yardarm yet?

all round!

However nice he is, I have heard so many stories of men - most of whom are really nice, intelligent people* - who have exploited their women. Some women even married these men (often the men Arabs or foreigners of some sort, but not always - it is a quick way to get a residence permit)

For the benefit of anyone one who isnt quite sure if the above is

a) blinkered sexist nonsense

OR

b) ignorant racist crap

Id just like to point out that it is infact. Nonsensical, ignorant, blinkered, racist, crap.

Trillian if you would like to dispute this please feel free to visit my space.

Trillian, you're bloody paranoid. I don't remember it being said at any point that he is a foreigner, so why should be be using her to get a permission to stay? You women have been going on about equality for ages, and then because this guy think they should both pay he is a parasite? That is pretty far out. And certainly jumping to conclusions. Give the guy a break.

(just bookmarking)

whispers...im keeping out of this one too

Well, I expected that sort of comment there and I can see that you think I deserve to be told off. It's just that I've seen too many of my friends being hurt and used, and it all starts so innocently. And I would say the same if it was the other way round - i.e. men being used by women. What I mean is: be careful how you commit yourself.

Please bear in mind:

* I married a foreigner and, so far (26 years) it has worked out.
* Most of the women I know who fell into the trap had a university education.
* As I am probably older than most of you I think I can safely say I can call on a larger pool of experience
* No one ever listens to my advice anyway (or anyone else's either probably)
* I am definitely not sexist or racist, and challenge anyone to find any such comments which would prove this anywhere on H2G2. If it bothers you that I use the word "Arab" above, you can substitute it with non-EU citizens. It's just that the cases I know involve Tunisian, Maroccan and Algerian nationals, of which there are a lot around here. And as I said, if I feared a male friend of mine was being exploited unfairly by his girlfriend/wife, it would upset me just as much.
* Other friends of mine have also been tricked or otherwise maltreated financially by husbands/boyfriends/fiancés who were the same nationality as they were.
* And I fail to see how you can call me *paranoid* on the basis of my comments.

Thank you for the invitation blickybadger - I don't feel any need to go into this any further, either here or in private.

Queegle understood what I meant and is obviously well-prepared for the situation I hope she will never have to cope with.

I wish her all the best and am enjoying following her reports.

I'll have one of those s now please freddy.

I'm not saying that those "not without my daughter" situations don't happen. I would also be quite wary if someone I know wanted to marry someone from the middle east. But I can`t remember being told anything by queegle other than this guy should be your standard white londoner. And if anything, the guy has been everything but pushy. His only fault being that he let her pay for half a meal, which she ate. Unless you think that not trying to kiss his date and not pushing for a second date, and letting her make that decisions shows he is a bad person, who must have a hidden agenda.

Here ya go, TC



RF

Well, his family are of Belgian descent, so you never know what nefarious plans he may have...

Haven't had a call yet..

patience

says she who none

Thankyou for your reply Trillian. Im sure Queeg understood what you meant, but remember that this is a public forum. Comments such as yours are deeply offensive to named or infered groups.


Queegle understood what I meant and is obviously well-prepared for the situation I hope she will never have to cope with.

I only hope that people whose treatment comments like yours could further prejudice "are well prepared to cope" with the racist treatment the already receive.

Like, Belgium, man!

Actually, any Belgian blokes I've met are really nice.