h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A certain broadcasting corporation hoarding editions of cult radio programmes from the 70's and 80's. If you know what I'm on about, respond accordingly.

No I don't, but here's mine:

1) When I have to try 20 times before I can get online.
2) When I'm online, and then the computer fails to transfer anything 2 k, which takes 40 minutes, and then I'm cut off.
3) Anytime whatsoever when I'm online and get cut off.
4) The noise my modem makes when I connect
5) TV advertisements between bits of the program I'm trying to watch, especially when they continue uninterrupted for longer than the bits of the program I'm trying to watch
6) People who are noisy and smelly
7) Bureaucrats
8) People who cannot understand what you're trying to tell them.
9) Really bad music
10) Politicians
11) Lawyers
12) People who are really interested in money

At last I managed to compile my whole list, but after rereading it, it boils down to this: PEOPLE.
(frightening discovery)

I think I agree with you on that one.

Anyway, that was what most of the lists boiled down to, but nobody said it flat out...

Is anyone else irritated by the subset of female TV presenters who are unable to speak without making exaggerated head movements or facial expressions with every single syllable, or putting entirely unnecessary stress on every word they speak.?

There is a "blonde joke" about those head movements in connection with shoulder-pads, but it would be politically INcorrect to tell it...

fingerposts that point to nothing,red and white flashing banner ads,these dont seem so bad on a green background tho

No question about this one - rear fog lights being left on several aeons after the last time there was bad weather ..... oh and add mobile phones as well.

Shop assistants who can't find a privce label on the object, and when you tell them the price they don't believe you,, then having to stand around like an idiot while they put out a tannnoy announcement for Eric the village idiot who takes three quarters of an hour to find the price AAAAaaaaarrrrggggh!

Having to talk to a shop-assistant any time...

The creepy bloke on a certain series of toothpaste adverts who is apparently "still fresh". I'd love to wipe the smarmy smile off his face with a sneaky right hook .... urgh!!

People who spout bulls**t in pubs (or equivalent drinking establishments). Especially when its racist bulls**t.

Do I spot a wee bit of self-criticism, Orcus?
No, you're right, French jokes and blonde jokes are NOT bulls**t, but simple common sense...

People who refuse to admit to hypocrisy

(anyway, that wasn't in a pub Kareem )

Forgot about these: tourists laden with luggage taking the subway during rush-hours.

Forgot about these: tourists laden with luggage taking the subway during rush-hours.

Nasty families with too many children and suitcases catching commuter trains and looking surprised that it's standing room only and they have to pay peak rate - yes! - rush hour! They don't seem to have heard of it...

From when I worked in a shop:
- customers
- other shop assistants
- managers

Strange! It's the same list for customers andmanegers...