h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The ghost of Stanley Kubric enters the wisest fools mortal body and constructs allegorical epics inside his head for the rest of his life...

Hey vegiman? What do you think about Dick Smith, or you going to change your name to Dickiman? ( Vegimite is being made by an unaustralian company and Dick smith is going to make his own)

I bet if Stephen Hawking started talking dirty he could turn C-3PO on

They'd make a lovely couple, I'm sure. But where would R2D2 fit into the relationship? Would it be a menage a trois? Or would Mr Hawking just be C-3PO's bit on the side?

I leave ya'll alone for just a few days, and look what happens??? We have a phrase written 1024 times, we have Steven Hawking banging the dippiest driod created (HELL of alot better than Jar Jar though), and alot about not thinking during sex(which Ill agree with). This is good. Major noogies to addy though. This forum takes FOREVER to load now. Anywho, I think of the four (artoo, threepio, jar jar, and Hawking) artoo's the only one with a working wang. How does a Gungan have sex???

veeeeeeeeeeery carefully. It might have something to do with their excessively long tongues. However, they are so annoying I'm not sure they even want to have sex with themselves. Maybe they reproduce like amoebas, now, that would be interesting however inconceivable.

STOP CALLING ME ADDY! That could be construed as contradicting the third word in my name ("Male"). So go stick your head in a bantha.

Can I call you "Addy-baby"?

(sorry, obscure python reference there.)

How come you all sound like real StarWars-fans and you're all still on this forum, it's about sex isn't it ??
I'd take Seven of Nine over C3PO anytime...maybe it's because I'm sort of 'A Grownup White Male Who Like 23' ???

Maybe he'd like "Frank" better. Why Frank? Frank's a nice name, why not? Ok sorry just like to say, hey, I got the obscure Python reference, three cheers for me! ahem. I'll go back to my pet shop now, thanks.

Or "Norman"?
You always know where you are with a Norman.
Norman Male...hmmmm....

I'll leave, now.

The act of sex itself is not complicated at all ,unless you are afflicted with severe obesity in which case a course of Xenacal should be taken in conjunction with a course of viagara ( so you can see when you have risen to the occasion ).
What makes SEX so complicated is the fact that we humans , the supposed higher species ( white mice excluded ) on the planet are cursed with a concience and out of proportion expectations .
So before one of us even thinks about getting it on with the opposite sex ( or whatever )we are already having a phsycological battle as to the moral implications of the aftermath of the act .
I for one have resigned myself to the simple fact that after one too many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters ( simply meaning ....the first one )that all inhibitions are swept aside with little or no regard to the subsequent repercussions , and a good time is had by all.
Whether or not there is any sex simply becomes irrelevant .

Zaphod, look at my previous post which has the phrase "You're being very silly" repeated 1024 times.

Wow. Sunset Beach

Post note :
It appears that my previous input was rather "male" oriented. As we live in a society where men and women are equals i feel compelled to add the following amendment to the opening paragraph above ;


For the overweight Female of the species the course of Xenical should be followed by a course of the recently released Niagara .
However it is recommended that any expensive floor coverings are removed or covered with a protective layer .

See my last quote.

Sex freaks me out.
I mean, I'm sitting there, pissed, with a girl i've known my whole life, and i find myself looking for the right moment to try to get off with her. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful, and she's great to be pissed with, but I almost got into a dangerous situation. Cant males and females interact without sex coming into it. Sex isn\'t complicated, its consequences, and the entourage of how to go about getting it are. Sex complicates.
It's scary, in that you find yourself doing things because of some bological necessity fueled psychological wotsit.
Am i waffling, or am i right? everything in life these days seems to be revolved around sex, which is a biological nessesity driven psychological thingy to ensure the preservationn of the species. Our DNA (no relation) makes us think we want to have sex just so it can stay alive.

Life goes childhood: fritter.
schooldays: wasted on schoolwork.
rest of life: working all the time, and too knackered to do anyuthing interesting, never seeming to get anywhere.
retirement: heart attack from smoking day before 65th Birthday.

Sex, and biological clocks ticking, etc. seems to be the only thing we can divert ourselves to.
So that we can lie on our deathbeds, look back at our lives, and say 'I've achieved something' (a child)

Everyone now needs to read up on Zen. Zen's looking back at your life, and having truly lived, appreciating every single detail of every moment for being the miracle that it is. There's an entryu on my home page about tea which is kind of relevant. maybe i'll write one on zen in general.

Anyhow, keep buying perfume, and clubbing, etc. whatever you want.

I'll stick with the jelly babies.

I don't like you, wierd thirteen year old. Stop following me Stoppitt!!