h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I wasn't angry. I just thought that with a face like mine...

What you mean you have a face like the arse of a Rhino? [sigh of disappointment]

Thank you, Jax. You have just prevented me from having /any/ sort of relationship over the Internet and you almost provoked me into going over to the Dark Side. (I am being serious, now!)

I am soooo sorry Addy, I did not mean to insult, but you must admit, you left yourself wide open! Could I change my mind to the front of a Rhino and refer to you as HORNY!!!

Oh, SHUT UP. "You can pick up all the pieces, but you can't re-make the window."

Bugsy is suddenly ripped away from his seat, as his radar gos off. He knows that somewhere, a busty, blue eyed blonde mentioned the word 'horny' a shiver runs down his spine.

What's wrong with being on the dark side of the force? I just waged war on Madmunk. Don't women find bad guys sexy? - alan rickman, etc. Hey, speaking of blondes, did anyone know that shazz has red hair and - AND green eyes. I think i'm in love. You know what the sexiest aspect a woman can have. A scratchy voice. You know, like when they've got the flu. Wow. Like Jo whiley, or Catherine Zeta Jones.
And Sarah the other day. oooooh. Another shiver runs down his spine.

Red hair? Green eyes?? Uh-oh ... I have a bad feeling about this. MARA JADE* has red hair and green eyes!!

*A character in Timothy Zahns Star Wars trilogy who wants to kill Luke Skywalker

Oh dear, I come back from the weekend and found myself to have lost two men, I must learn to treat you better!!

Yes Addy MY FRIEND, Star Wars again, the best thing thats happened, since erm... well the last Star Wars! As for the broken window crap, I apologised OK? And again .. I AM SORRY!!!!

Bugsy, you obviously prefer Red Heads (which is a shame) but blondes look better on video, you know what I mean and I haven't known you long enough to die my hair for you.

There. You've apologized a second time, so now I can say the worst possible thing to say to a girl ... "Let's Just Be Friends."

I don't think that's possible Addy, I think I will find it very hard to be /just/ friends with you! But if that is all you can offer, then I will take the cream silk back to the shop - I WASTED MY MONEY!!!!!

On the other hand Bugsy? Bugsy Where are You?????

Jax, I said that to just irritate you. And it looks like I did. A thousand pardons. [Everyone looks at him with horror] No, no, no, no, I didn't mean I was actually going to type in "Pardon me" 1000 times. If I did, it would be 1024 pardons. Anyway, Jax, you don't REALLY have to take the nightdress back.

Too late, the need is done, back to the bare necessities again. I will have to reply on the Chanel No 5 and the satin sheets. Well it worked to Ms Monroe!

(BARE necessities?)
Oh, kick off, I totally disagree with what I said in my previous post.

Ok, stereotypical images: blondes are easily bored and less easily educated. Brunettes are bitter and enigmatic (like me) and redheads have that fire, that celtic fire, oh yeah!

Brunettes are enigmaniacs? Isn't "Enigmaniacs" the name of a researcher here at the H2G2?

You are quite right Bugsy, blondes are easily bored, and I am bored with this forum now, I am bored with you and I am bored with Addy. I have lots of work to do and quite frankly I am far too important and get paid far too much money to waste my time having meaningless conversation. I will be around on the more intelligent forums from now on!

See ya

bitch.

Yeah.

Thats more like it, I love it when you get rough in the afternoon - how about a threesome?

No way, luv.
You had your chance, and you got all high and mighty. I'm outta here for good.

cya