h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man."

-Mark Twain

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die

Mel Brooks

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Mae West

As my wife and I reached our 40th birthdays, we decided to perturb our lives a little. My wife is now pregnant. I think we over-perturbated.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
-- Steven Wright

We must always have old memories and young hopes

Houssaye

You must have a cat and a dog.

You need the dog, to be loved unconditionally.
You need the cat, to be ignored unconditionally.

I'm not stupid, I'm married.

Long story, caused by pausing, or not, in the wrong place. And for once on someone else's behalf.

At a parachuting school:

Student: If my parachute doesn't open when I pull the ripcord, how long have I got to open my parachute?

Teacher: The rest of your life.

"I can be brown, I can be blue, I can be violet sky,
I can be happy, I can be dappy, I can be anything you want!"

Mika

I think they're about the right words for the song, but whatever they are they make me grin like an idiot every time I hear it!! Good memories!!

L x

I love cooking wiht wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food!

I don't know how familiar you folks are with the TV series Dalziel and Pascoe, but one of my favourite quotes comes from when Supt. Dalziel has been put on a strict diet after a heart attack. He's told he can only drink skimmed milk. His comment:

Skimmed milk? That's not milk. That's water that's been waved under a cow!

He's so right!

You should view your friends as you would view your pictures - in the best light!

can you imagine how deep the oceans would be if there were no sponges?

Like that one Milla

HELLO DUDES

I'm glad, Miz!

Hi, just a quick repost as I have now got the proper words to Mika!!

"I can be brown, I can be blue, I can be violet sky,
I can be hurtful, I can be purple, I can be anything you like!"

Sounds like me, a social chamaeleon!!

L x

I was listening to that this morning. Makes me smile every time!

It's a fab song, Ballynac!! The rest of the album is cool too, a really good mix of stuff!!

L x