h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is that what they call it when you're being chased by the Indian police with a lati

I believe the South African police use the same, but their's are called shambocks think I'd rather have a visit by the tocaloshi (pardon my spelling South African friends )

I did seem to spend a lot of time in my drunken youth.

I *think* the chib is a sort of quarter staff, used for poking and hitting pressure points (wrists and big toes mainly!!!)

Groovey man!

I like sitting on a howitzer, commands a bit better respectespecially when the armadillo wakes

Nothing like the generous aplication of "Doc Steele" for headaches

i dunnae ken

I have had nothing but talk of football all day from my work mates. Its enough to send me mad! Thank god Im already crazy. Also I love howitzers.

I once wrote a letter to asking for grenades, Karl Gustov rocket launcher, TNT, howitzer *88mm ammo of course* and incendaries. I was palnning a big suprise for my friends

Bowie for me, I like the whole idea of emerging slowly form a conveniently placed body of water and like the hateful shadow of death strike fear into those that survive the onslaught, letting them think on thier impending doom.
*shakes head*
I also like bunnies.

Hmm.. bunnies... *shudder*

I think ill stick with the good old frying pan , nothing like a bottomesque round of OTT frying pan action !

You can also cook your breakfast in one, i'm told.

eggs cooked with bacon, and bangers and baked beans: these are a few of my favourite things...........

hmm..My little pony...*shudder*..........

many moons ago, I was in hospital and one Sunday this vicar type bod came round the ward(me being atheist, but not ignorant to him)he said "morning! I a cannon!" my reply "morning! I'm an howitzer" he walked off ?

" I am a doughnut"

"I am an egg man, I am a walrus"

Goo goo ga choog!

I talk to the trees, that's why they took me away

I wish I could talk to trees, all I have to talk to is the british general public. I'm a misanthrope for a reason.

I may have been known to massage a tree...

I took one of it's branches (lots of beautiful blossoms!) and felt guilty so I tried to make it up to it...



I always talk to things, my car, trees, plants... If I pick a flower I thank the plant and apologise...