h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*flies under the saloon door* the saloon appears empty* leaves the dragonFLYbot under a chair and creeps around the bar following a strong smell of whisky* nearly walks into a Webjello who is kneeling on the floor and leaning against the counter* he has a shotgun in his hands but his eyes are closed* makes a strategic retreat*

*collects the dragonFLYbot and flies out into the town* skims from balcony to balcony*

*Hears more shooting than usual outside. Staggers to his feet, clutching the shotgun. Weaves his way to the swinging doors, points the shotgun out and lets go with both barrels. The recoil knocks him over on his back.*

*pushing open the window, climbs in and knuckles through the room, past a half-dressed woman and down the hall. At the stairs, the Disgruntled Ape swings over the bannister, landing on the piano, and jumps for the counter. Comes up behind the drunken jello and takes his gun*

Ook. [I'm glad I switched sides.]

*looks around for the other apes, then fires a couple of rounds at the store*

*Comes to and finds himself without his shotgun, and an Ape firing a shotgun out the window. Tries very hard to put 2 and 2 together, but fails.

Crawls behind the bar and takes the pistol from under the counter. Stands up quickly, reels and falls back down. Pulls himself up, using the bar and, leaning on the bar, levels the pistol at the Ape.*

Shtop rye there, Ape. I gotsha covered.

*The barrel of the pistol zigzags around, roughly pointing at the Ape.*

*Turns around slowly, still holding the shotgun.*

Ooook [Okay, I give up]

*When the shotgun is pointed at Mellowjello, the Ape pulls the triggers.*

*The shotgun blasts tears into Mellowjello, splattering jello all over the wall behind the bar. The alcohol in the jello ignites and starts to burn. The wooden building quickly catches fire and smoke begins to billow out the doorway.*

*Exits in a hurry.*