h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you ma'am for that information.

*Looks around nervously at the goings on*

If that planning board does meet, let them know I'd like to build a church. If you will all excuse me, I think I should go talk to the mayor now.

*Leaves*

*Walks back into the saloon. Catches the eye of several jellos and inclines his head outside. Exits.*

*whistles to his Jellos in the saloon and they (mostly) follow Reb outside and saddle up. A moment later horses are heard galloping off into the distance.*

*Limps into the saloon. All eyes turn to him.*

Sorry, folks. No manual.

*Walks up to the bar.*

Double whiskey!

*walks in and stands next to Butch and whispers in his ear*

They'll be here in a short while Butch - time to git ready ah reckon.

Right, Reb. I'll go report to the boss, then get some of the boys spread out around town as a reception committee. I'll meet you back at the NG corral.


*Downs his double whiskey and exits.*

*Nearly collapses at the bar*
I kin barely stand, an we gotter fight agin? Whiskey. I need whiskey. Gimme a double, an purt it in a dirty glass.

Eh, that dawg is back.

*Affy, meanwhile, has been frozen in place for quite some time ever since he saw Zero walk in. He finally blinks, pushes everything into his burlap sack (which he hoists over his shoulder), and exits*

Guys, this card game'll have to take place later, I'm afraid. I've got to see to some business at the abandoned mines. You know, puzzles to solve, mazes to map, treasures to pick up....in fact, there's a room with three levers on a wall, and I've just gotta pull one. Because they're there, I have to pull one. I'll be back soon!

*exuent*

Um, Affy, "Exeunt" is only used when more than one person is exits.

well, affy and all the voices in his head just exeunt.

/* Zeppo leaves when Affy says "Exeunt", since nobody has bothered to give him any of the pretzels from the bar that he has been staring at all day. */

*leaves and spreads himself round town*

*goes behind the bar and gets a bottle of whisky and the shotgun they keep behind there just in case*

*hides behind bar and nuzzles whisky*

*watches all these goings on, then leans over the bar to address the drunk with the shotgun*

Say, Mellah, what's goin' on 'round here?

Got a bad feeling in these old bones Missy. Best you either git drunk, git a gun or git going.

Well, Ah kin take a hint.

*finishes whiskey, straightens hair in mirror behind bar. exeunt*

.....

*Someone strongly remenicient of Mary Poppins pushes through the doors. Yes ok, wrong continent and all that. Be thankful there isn't a chimney sweep with that accent in tow. Please note parasol, carpet bag, hat*

*after her eyes adjust to the gloom she glances round with well bred distaste, but seeing no, or very few, vaugly sober or sociable persons, leaves again, tring to have as little contact with surfaces as possible.*

Too many strangers.

Teachers, preachers and governessses are not commonly thought of as lowlifes, and yet here they are in Peta Gulch.

koff koff koff koff koff kaaaaaff
*wipes blood off his lips, stands, and walks out into the street*

*Notices the comings and goings and decides it's time to take his place for "greeting" the posse.*

*Exeunt *