h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

closing these places LiBErates the peasants to either starve or join the knights in warfare

many a SETtlement suffered and still is, at the hands of a mere thatcher and a MacGregor from afar

>ENT<

after the serfs and diggers PeNTErated the Lancasterian castles walls by going under the moat, we attacked from within and victory was ours. WE spoilt THEY'RE black pudding


>TED<

Do I DETect a hint of smugness in the reporting of the Northern knights black pudding victory?


ECT

oh yes! we are at the top of the food chain while others are mere myCETozoa

>ZOA<

The scribes are putting together the OZAlids ready for publishing around the county

>IDS<

I will SIDe with the proofreaders, just don't ask me to rewrite



>IDE<

I'm setting up my own castle the lord of my last post started to get antIEDucational and that's not for me


>NAL<

I need a LANd of me own



>AND<

I trust you will need a hANDsome knight to help you conquer this land you need. I am here if needed


OME

Glad to hear it. With a bit of luck there should even be a little MOnEy in it for you



>NEY<

I YEarN for the company of a certain wench in the village and a little extra cash will make me much more attractive to her

ARN

Not ARweN, I hope? Because if so you will have to fight me



>WEN<

Just say WhEN and where you and I'll duel for the wenches hand, choose your weapon from custard pies wet soggy suet pudden or we could have a drinking contest, last man standing wins<


HEN

Typewriters at ten paces!
My NEpHew will be my second



>HEW<

Sounds OK, HoWEver do we find the winner by chucking the typewriters at each other or by deciding who can type the most hurtful insult the fastest

VER

types: "You are dead"

There, you've lost - and there's no way you can REVenge that



>NGE<

in years to come, the GENealogists will have a field day sifting the bones found on the battlefields

>STS<