h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A haras of fire breathing unicorns from the far North may yet come to our aSSIstance



>NCE<

is that the lEatherNeCk breed or the bottleneck breed ? as the bottleneck don't train well and are basically cowards


>ECK<

ByhECKthump lads we should grab all the help we can get from the North Ii hear there damels have more muscles than Morecombe beach

UMP

They are a special Kevlar-neCKEd Icelandic breed with 5 gears (four forward and one reverse) - but they are fully automatic so you don't have to worry about any sticks but can concentrate on working your axes, swords, lances and what have you



>KED<

Pierce it's >ump<

Wasn't when I wrote

I must have fallen victim to

argh! it ain't Friday the 13th is it ? triskaiDEKaphobia alert


>BIA<

Nope, but thank Bob it's Friday in a couple of hours anyway - all over AlBIon even



>ION<

well tomorrowthis Yorkshire knight is heading over the Pennines for the weekend, to reconNOItre the feeble opposition and teach the true faith

>TRE<

You are taking a TERrible risk coming over amongst the varlets without Cornish knights to safeguard you

BLE

So you'll be kicking the backbone of England, eh? Have a heart and kick the funny bone instead (it's to be found somewhere near the ELBow, I hear). Since the election a lot of Albions are long in the face, down in their mouths and on the whole disfigured enough as it is, poor sods



>BOW<

I'll be BlOWed if i'll kick anyone anywhere, I just smite with a length of hogs pudding

WED

crossed over and passed some tiDEWaters, but Lanc's lot were quiet and no challenge, so carried on to Cheshire where a fair damsel called Lil was waiting

>ERS<

Did she by any chance SERve you a fading smile and some old ?

>RVE<

I will have to REVise my opinion of Lil if she was hanging around waiting for The Prof


ISE

Yorkshire knights are the claSsIEst in the country(modest)well this one is


>EST<

is that an ESTablished fact or are the Yorkshire knights just biggin' themselves up because they can't hold a candle to us Cornishmen

HED

far from it! Yorkshire serfs respect others of same standing

harDHEaded Yorkshiremen, down dark holes digging hard black stuff and hardheaded Cornishmen, down dark holes digging tin cheap lives/life's given for someone else's profit as was/is.


>DED<

You are obviously a knight well EDucateD in the dastardly morals of the lords of darkness. (I did my stint many years ago at Geevor tin mine, it's a theme park/museum now. not sure if that is good or bad)


TED

Having once visited a Welsh slate mine, it was DETectable to me to the harshness and working conditions of all miners through the ages

>BLE<