h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

time to get listed again the top knights from the SETtlements are gathering for the annual jousting contest

>NTS<

Will there be TeNtS there with bars selling really good Cornish ?

NTS (again)

The vaSTNess between the settlements, I suppose we could still get some carted up to the joust, there's lindisfarne mead coming from the other direction

>ESS<

If it is as SEnSational as Cornish mead us knights will get really

NAL

having only sampled lindisfarne mead, I know that the pAstureLaNd of the country and the local bees thereabouts, will produce excellent mead. Therefore, one day I hope to sample Cornish

>AND<

I have to skip the jousting this time. This baNDAge hides the mother of a tennis elbow. My is planning to invent a suitable sport to go with it but he got diverted and spends most of his time on something he calls a golf course these days



>AGE<

then let us get this belEAGuered quack doctor out of the village, he's no good for keeping hard working knights in good health.

>RED<

Ah, but the good is the only one with the right RemeDiEs to make our moonshine taste like proper single malt whisky until someone invents the real thing



>IES<

some of the best taverns have been beSIEged by riff-raff
We knights need our own place and can then guarantee top notch ales and spirits

>GED<

This should lift your spirits: I just heard on the news that single malt whisky is due to be invented next Thursday. The lab has just received the newest cutting eDGE equipment for it. Hooray!



>DGE<

DGE
Are you aware the new whisky is being distilled from Cornish marram grass a Somewhat DownGradEd version of Cornish mead. more suitable for damsels and midden maids than knight own pleasure

DED

I have inDeED heard about that, but don't you worry. A few of us knights have forced the inventor to use peat from the bogs on Islay



>EED>

I'm busy training some DEErhounds, a squad of 6 ready for the hunting season

>NDS<

Exactly what kind of deer were you counting on catching with a sixpack of poodles like these? Not sure I can eNDorSe this kind of hunting



>RSE<

ah! you have been miSREferred on that, deer-hounds not to chase deer, but serfs who abscond from the Lord of the manor's land and also to evict any intruders


>RED<

I see, yes, that makes a lot more sense. A set of fangs in their DERrieres should do the trick

(In particular if they miss their target and bite something else )



>RES<

Oh my dogs do enjoy the entertainment that the bERSerkers bring, when running away from the houndsThey will actually sit and give them a head start

>ERS<

Biting the nether parts of interlopers, especially non-Yorkshire types is a noble and ERStwhile activity. We like to see them and .



Sorry for recent lack of activity, I've been in dry dock with a severe lung infection. Back home now, still on Oxy but getting there.

We have regular entertainment venues for cLIEntèle throughout the country, that travel to us for the "hounds versus barbarians" events we hold.
Different classes, to win shields/cups/rosettes

>ELE<

The elephants gathered in the lee of the circus big top against the march of the EELs slithering over land in the torrent produced by the storm.

>ELS<