h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Having been on the quest for some time now (less than a week) call is started to feel a little weak of faith, he has handed out flyers for the church stuck up posters, witnessed to the unbeliving and still no new members*

*he kneels to pray*

Oh great holy sqirrell of plastic, please come forth and teach me the way of enlightenment, please show me how to clense the dirty and enlighten those who do not know our way, and insist on walking in the dark.

*awaits a message from the holy squirell of plastic*

*twiddles thumbs*


*eats some

*Gets out his deckchair and sits*

*brings Cal a greeh mojito and sits down in a deck chair near him to roast marshmallows in the sacred barbecue pit*

Me thinks the synthetic rodent hath abandoned the way of the tail...

NNOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

*beats his chest in angony*
There is only one option left then
*stands up*
You Miss Batty of bat must take his place as you are keeper of the holy tail. All now lies within your hands

*kneels down at her feet*

great.. demoted from deity to preacher...

2 jobs to do that is all oh holy bat like person

*prays at her feet then realises they're a bit smelly so moves back at bit*

Hey! My feet don't smell! Unless of course it's the lavendar stuff they use when I get a pedicure..

*decides not to tell her they smell like cheese*

Shall I was them for you oh holy batty of bat?

cheese huh? hopefully not limburger...

your quest is being discussed in my fan club.. F59958?thread=175984&post=5727158#p5727158

*thinks the holy one truley has great powers*


*washes her feet with coldtar soap*


*works up a good lather*

*thinks about leather*

now that stuff truly reeks! smells like roadwork on an August day...

*quite likes the smell of that but swaps it for lavendar nevertheless*

::half anaesthetized by the smell grabs the lavendar by mistake, rolls a === and lights it ===~~ ::

hmmm, what a strange taste this has

A New member perhaps?

Oh, great! Another quest!

Sir Paul of H needs another quest about as much as he needs a purple cow.....

But seeing as how the squizzel of plastic is off cavorting somewhere else, what can one do?

Great

*hands him some flyers*

Off you go then

There ya go! Join the and get on lavender then pass out some flyers.. Maybe we should strive towards a good midnight mass and nekkid twister competition...

BTW there is a new somebody in the Sacramental Bar..

Is the Sacramental Bar located in Sacramento?

*The following scene is best viewed in reverse. At least then it looks remotely impressive.

Wargamer stands grinning like an idiot, trying to look heroic while bits of skylight makes a gentle "glink-glink" noise at it bounces, in re-wind, around the room. The window to the right slowly pulls itself back together, allowing a helicopter propeller to bounce in. Wargamer's idiotic look turns, backwards, to a look of mild horror, while the propeller heads skyward, reforming the skylight around it, bar for a small circular hole. Wargamer is slumping into a protective crouch at this point, trying not to be hit by the rouge bouncy ball that formed said hole. The ball heads back to the shelf, which returned to the correct position while the bin below it restored itself to the correct form. Apparantly, the bin had exploded due to a misfiring Railgun, which misfired because Wargamer failed to read the "Wet Floor" sign. Now, as he reverses back upright, and out of the door, closing it infront of him, we are back to square one.

Let's watch it again, forwards, for comedy value...

...enjoy it? If not, rewind and do it again, some things are better the second time over.*

Ouch... Well, I'm back everyone... umm, sorry about the window, and the skylight, and the bin, and everything...

I tried reading it backwards from the last sentence to the first.

Then I read it forwards.

Something about a helicopter and a hole in a skylight.

But the hole in the skylight is letting in too much light, which makes my

We're just happy you're back Wargamer! Maybe we can find an officiall handyman or carpenter to the HT..