h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, I see. I've never seen an auto-security-thing in Goo before ...


[Ray] Man, who's this puzzle targetted at, anyway?

[He forms the word "Hint" and then leans back against the wall, psychokinetically hitting the button again. He then resumes dragging the ruined blade-arm towards the Gauntlet.]

*the mecha-locusts appear to be using the heat and ore to make more of themselves*

*back in the arena, the vendor has got out the manual and is reading* Why am I suddenly thinking about sauerkraut?

Ah. Treat it as one word, sauerkraut, not two words, which it isn't.

I've censored trying to make an offensive joke! Curse you, vast cultural difference between BBC and American social standards!


Oh, come on, KL. The timer resets? Where's the penalty, besides being stuck in a box that won't let you fall asleep?

*The panel looks, for a second, like it will supply Ray with a hint. Then it makes a mechanical chuckle, makes the buzzing sound for an incorrect answer as the guns and other assorted weaponry make another mechanical (and more menacing sounding) cough, and the timer resets again*

*The Krylma Leader orders a hot dog with mustard, ketchup and sauerkraut, now that his brain knows how to spell it*

KL-Where's the penalty to letting people pilot giant mechas? It's incredible fun. Death is a possibility, but you have to take that risk.

[Ray nods, and continues psychokinetically dragging the blade Gauntlet-ward.]

*floats toward the Krylma Leader* You want fries with that?

KL-Yes, certainly.

*Meanwhile, the mecha arm keeps moving, unobstructed, towards Ray and the timer keeps dropping*

< ooc > Sorry. That was a bit tasteless. I suspect the mother aspect will only appear at times of absolute non peril in future. < /ooc >

*Sol mutters, stretches, wakes up and morphs straight into a stringy haired old bat with ill fitting iron teeth and a cross expression.*

The answer is 'cabbage' of course.

*She strides up to the control panel, thumps it and stands back, with a confident expression.

Nodding to Ray, she says*

Young man. You really should be wearing a scarf. And a hat.

Well. Giant walking cybernetic suits have a sort of appeal, I suppose. I prefer to put my faith in things I can hold, write, or pay.

[Ray considers this, and makes the word "cabbage" appear on the screen. Just in case this doesn't work, he lifts the blade-arm at the entrance to the Gauntlet, pointed inward. It looks like it's just big enough that it would fit through.]

[Ray] [conversationally to Sol] Y'know, you might want to get ready to duck. I mean ... *I've* been treated with some of Liquid Snake's soldier-genes, if that means anything to you, but there's gonna be ... some shrapnel if you're wrong.

[He then flattens himself against the side wall, and psychokinetically presses the button again.]

*The puzzle panel clicks, whirs, the machinery coughs again, and the timer resets itself. Apparently Cabbage isn't the correct answer*

[Ray adjusts the positioning of the blade-arm as it hovers by the entrance to the Gauntlet. He glances to Sol.]

Okay, looks like it's time to cut the Gordian knot ...

*Sol is looking astounded at the puzzle's temerity in rejecting her answer. She turns to Ray and says, sharply...*

Mind you don't cut yourself with that thing.

*the magma pit is now a locust pit*

*the vendor finishes assembling the Krylma's order, bungs together a plastic clamshell containg the comestibles, and hands it over* There you are. That will be three moxons, thank you.

Moxons? what be moxons?

Also, I'll take an all beef kosher hot dog with sweet pickle relish, mustard, and the sautee`d liver of a sturmvin beast from Agon 5.

On a croissant.

A moxon is a unit of currency on H2G2. It's named after Mark Moxon, one of the founding editors.


Sorry sir, sturmvin is off. I have genuine Nathan's hot dogs, all-beef and kosher like you asked for. I have samosas. I have fresh locusts.

I always felt that Moxons made more sense than the original currency, Donuts. Basically turned Joanna's stall into a mint. Also, I'm trying to figure out the physics behind what I think Ray is trying. He must be up to something different than what I think, given what's been said and shown so far.


*The Krylma Leader takes the vendor's wares and consumes the snack*

hm... locust would be tasty. A nice crunch, too.

Heh. Parasite eats a parasite.

[Ray, pressing himself against the wall, sends the blade-arm hurtling down the hallway. His effort is mostly towards supporting and guiding it, letting Isaac Newton do most of the work once he's worked up a good acceleration; the intention is to use it approximately like a battering ram.]